Page 67 of Student Seduction
But I realized now that some scars weren’t on the surface.
Some damage though invisible, was irreparable.
I’d zoned out for a moment, but when I tuned back in I heard my mother raise her voice.
“I don’t regret my children. I love my children.”
The conviction in her tone only seemed to spur Kat on. “Then love them enough to do what’s best for them. Let them go stay with Mike while you deal with this. Let me help you so that you can. Dammit, woman, for five seconds swallow your fucking pride and accept that this, this situation right here, is currently out of your control. It doesn’t have to be like this, Lor. I am here, and I will help you if you’ll let me. But I won’t watch you wither and give up and I won’t watch you take out your own misery on your children. If you’re ready to face this for real, I will be with you every step of the way. But if you’re going to give up and drown in self-pity, I’ll quit right now. I won’t stand by and watch you drown. I can’t. Let me know when you decided what you want to do.”
Before I could process that her last words were her exit line, the door opened and I was face to face with an auburn-haired, red-lipstick-wearing woman about three inches shorter than me. Desire her small stature, she was vibrant and animated, bright jewelry adorning what seemed like every moving part of her, and color flushing her olive-skinned cheeks.
“You must be Emersyn. I’m Katrina Newsome, but everyone calls me Kat. Nice to meet you.” She held out her hand I shook it. Firmly, because her strong grip insisted.
“Um, nice to meet you too.” Under extremely awkward circumstances.
“Your dad hired me to look after your mom. I’ll be in and out twice a day over the next few weeks. She has my number. As does your father. I have a key and the security code. My number is on the fridge. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Okay,” I said dumbly, nearly blinded by her bright white smile. She wasn’t what I expected as I’d listened through the door. “Thanks, I guess.”
“It was nice to meet you, Emersyn,” she called out as she left.
“You too,” I said as an afterthought, probably too late for her to hear.
I stepped inside my mom’s room, where she sat up staring blindly in bed.
“You okay?”
She nodded absently. “Yeah. Just thinking. How long have you been here?” Recognition dawned in her eyes and for a moment she looked panicked.
“Long enough.”
Recognition turned to resignation. “I’ve known Kat a long time, or rather, I knew her a long time ago. A lifetime ago. When I was about your age. We didn’t exactly keep in touch.”
I nodded. “So I heard.”
“We were young. I was confused. About pretty much everything.”
Sounded a lot like my life now, but I didn’t tell her so.
I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about Aunt Lucy. Sorry for what happened. And sorry that I never met her.”
The odd sensation that if Aunt Lucy hadn’t died, I never would’ve been born creeped over me and completely freaked me out.
My mom sighed. “You’re a lot like her in some ways. Passionate. Artistic. Sarcastic.”
“I’m going to take those as compliments.” I forced a smile.
My mom returned the smile, but like mine, it didn’t reach her eyes. “You should. She would’ve. She was amazing. Everyone loved her. Loved being around her.” A faraway look my dad used to call her ‘thousand-yard stare’ entered her eyes. “Lucy was special, so special I couldn’t even be jealous of her. I was only jealous when her attention was on someone other than me.”
“Did you really just marry dad because of Grandma and Grandpa? Because of what happened to Aunt Lucy?”
My mom waved her hand aimlessly. “Lord no, Emersyn.” She glanced at the ceiling. “Kat gives me a hard time because I did try very hard to make it up to my parents after the accident. But the truth was, as much as Kat made me feel wild and alive and, I don’t know, a little rebellious, I wanted the stability of a family more than anything else. I’d lost that after Lucy died. Your dad helped me to get it back. That part of me, the part that fell in love with Kat, it was always a little scary to me.”
“Do you still have feelings for her? After all this time?”
This was hands down, the weirdest and yet best conversation I’d ever had with my mother.
She frowned, the lines in her forehead deepening as she studied her bed comforter intently. “I don’t know. In some ways, it’s like I never stopped. And in others, she feels like a complete stranger.”
