Page 85 of Student Seduction
25
Emersyn
AYear and a Half After That
It was a random Tuesday afternoon when it came through.
Sender: Aiden Singleton Subject:
I stared at the E-mail for an entire day before opening it. Peeking at it periodically, like one might a forbidden chocolate cupcake in the fridge.
A thrill went through me at the sight of his name, but part of me hoped every time I looked that it would have magically disappeared.
It hadn’t.
I paced around the apartment I shared with my boyfriend Max, a musician I’d met at an opening for a local bar my friends had made me go to a year ago.
He was a supremely talented piano player and songwriter, though he was a little scatterbrained at times. For instance, he’d recently found his cell phone in the freezer where he’d left it one night after pulling out some ice cream.
It had to be replaced.
Somewhere between his music, my art, and his amusing absentmindedness, we’d fallen in love. Or something close to it anyway. Definitely mutual adoration.
Living with Max was like living with my best friend. He understood when I needed to camp out at my studio space and work for days on end and I understood when he didn’t speak for a week because he was working out musical arrangements in his head.
I’d told him about Aiden, even about our back stairwell adventures, and he thought it was super hot. I suspected he thought I was much sexier than I actually had been in high school. But I enjoyed him picturing me as some vixen instead of the art geek I really was, so I let his imagination run wild.
He told me about Beth, the girl he’d loved half his life who’d refused to move from Idaho to Chicago when he told her he wanted to be a jazz musician.
Both of us had been burned by our first loves, but we’d recovered and rebounded nicely. As artists, our individual lives were chaotic, but we had a standing date Tuesday nights at our favorite cafe around the corner.
I knew I couldn’t go without reading Aiden’s message first. It wouldn’t be right to sit through dinner with Max wondering about the ticking time bomb in my inbox. And I fully intended to tell him about it. He wasn’t the jealous type and had always been honest about any contact he’d had with Beth. So half an hour before leaving to meet him, I sat on our comfy white sectional couch, held my breath, and opened my E-mail.
Emersyn,
I am so sorry about your mother. I didn’t find out she’d passed until I’d returned from Canada. I would’ve come to the funeral if I had been stateside. Unfortunately, I blew out my left knee during a game there and ending up having surgery and several months of rehab before I could get home. My phone was damaged during the flight there and it took a while to get a new one that could upload all of the messages I’d missed. When I finally saw yours, I was back home learning that my career was pretty much over.
It’s no excuse and I should’ve messaged you sooner, but it seemed like maybe you needed space and I struggled to find my way for a while. I did get to play half of another season but that was all my knee could manage. I was recently hired as an assistant coach with my old team in North Carolina so I’m looking forward to that.
Anyway, I wanted you know I meant what I said in California. I’m glad you’re living your life. You deserve a beautiful one. If you needed to let me go to be happy, then I understand. I will always love you. I don’t think I could stop if I tried. If you ever need me, all you have to do is say the word and I’m there. I still have the same phone number and I included it below should you ever need it.
It was signed only with his name and his number. The same one I still had. Part of me wondered if I was the reason he hadn’t changed it. But I pushed that craziness out of my head. Men didn’t like change, plain and simple. It probably had nothing to do with me.
It was done. I exhaled. I’d read his words and survived.
Lightening hadn’t struck and the Earth hadn’t opened up and swallowed me whole.
I was fine.
It was fine.
He was fine.
Everything was fine.
That’s what I’d tell Max. Aiden had messaged. It had surprised me but I was fine.
Except…the only word I could use correctly wasfineand my heart was doing that stupid thing. That thing it only did when I heard Aiden’s name or thought Aiden’s name or pictured Aiden’s freakishly handsome face. Beating wildly out of rhythm making it difficult to control my breathing.
