Page 44 of Learn the Play
Gently, I tug her lip free as I lean forward and press a soft kiss to her lips. “Nothing you could say is going to make me change my mind. Nothing,” I tell her, peering deep into her eyes, willing her to believe me.
“I’m scared to tell you. For the first time in my life, I want to break my own rules. For you.”
“Fuck breaking the rules, Bell. Destroy them. I am not him,” I say, referring to her father. “There will never be a time in our lives that I don’t put you first. Not ever.”
More tears spill. “I want to believe that.”
“Give me a chance to prove it to you.”
“How are you going to do that?” she asks.
“Move in with me.” I blurt out the words, but I don’t regret them.
“What?” Her mouth hangs open in shock.
“Move in with me. My schedule is insane, but you’ll be there every night when I get home. And when I’m traveling, I’ll know you’re in our bed. I’ll know that you’re with me, even when you’re not.”
Her voice cracks, “You want me to move in with you?”
“Yes.” No hesitation. The more I think about coming home to her, falling asleep next to her every single night, the idea sparks hope inside my chest. Is this fast? Yes, it is, but am I certain she’s who I want? Also, yes. There’s no timeline for this kind of thing, and I don’t care if it’s today or six years from now—it will still be here. My night with her changed me, and no matter what her answer is, that truth will remain the same.
“That’s a big step.”
“These are big feelings,” I say, taking her hand and pressing it over my heart. “I’ve never been indecisive. I make a choice, and that’s it. That’s what I want.”
“And I’m your choice?”
I smile at her. “Yeah, Bell, you’re my choice. Do this with me. Give us a real chance at this.”
“I have to tell you first. You might change your mind,” she says again, her eyes closing briefly before they open again.
“Try me.”
She takes a deep breath, slowly exhales, and her words, “I’m pregnant,” change my world.
It takes about three seconds for her words to register, and I pull her into my chest, hugging her as tightly as I can. It’s probably too tight, considering she’s carrying precious cargo, but fuck me. We’re having a baby.
Finally, I ease up, and she pulls back. She’s sobbing again, and I swallow a lump of emotions in the back of my throat, because fuck, I’m going to be a dad. “We’re having a baby,” I say, my voice gruff.
She nods. “But you can take it all back,” she says. “I don’t expect anything or need anything from you. I can do this on my own?—”
I place my hand over her mouth. “Don’t. Don’t insult me like that. This is my baby, Bell.Ourbaby. He or she needs me, and so do you. You won’t do a single fucking thing on your own from now on. It’s you and me. Together. We’ve got this,” I say, then my mind goes another direction. “You—” I swallow hard because fuck, I can’t even say the words. “You want this baby, right?”
“I do. But I didn’t do this on purpose to trap you. I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
“I want it all, Bellamy. You, this baby, and the life we’re going to build.” Leaning in, I kiss her. “I.” Kiss. “Want.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “And our baby.” Kiss.
She accepts each kiss, which creates an intense spark of joy and hope for what our future could be together. She’s no longer pushing me away. Fucking finally, she understands, we are meant to be. I just want to stay right here, with her wrapped inmy arms. I’ve managed to do the impossible, and I tore down her walls.
“I want what you’re saying. I want to build a life with you, but, Reid, I’m so scared. I know I can’t keep letting my past guide my future, but I’m already too far gone. If we take this leap, and you decide I’m not what you want, I won’t survive that. I’ve had one man who was supposed to love me unconditionally walk out on me. I can’t do it again.”
“You won’t have to. You and this baby, you’re my entire world.” I move my hand to her flat belly. “Fuck, how do you love someone you’ve never met?”
“Promise me we won’t end up like them. Tell me we won’t end up like my parents.”
“I promise you that will never be us, baby. Never,” I say with conviction. Then I grin. “So, you’re moving in, right? Wait, maybe we should buy a place. Our kid needs a yard to play in. I don’t want to raise our kids in a condo.”
“Kids?”
