Page 39 of Learn the Play
“I’m ready,” he assures me. “I’m packed, and the only thing I’m missing is time with you.”
“It’s late,” I say again because my brain is still trying to comprehend that he’s still here—wide awake, while I use him asmy personal pillow. He’s here, and he’s telling me that I’m all that he’s missing. My heart wants to throw caution to the wind, but my mind tells me that I know better.
“Are you hungry?” He ignores my words, telling him that he should go. Instead, he tries to continue to take care of me. I feel my resolve softening, and I can’t let that happen.
“No, I’m going to go to bed.” Tossing off the cover I was wrapped up in, I stand. My words are abrupt, but I need some separation. My body is trying to betray me. “Thank you for coming to check on me.” I soften my tone. I do appreciate him coming to check on me, and he stayed. He had other places he could be, but he chose to stay here, on my couch, letting me use him as a pillow. I’m trying to wrap my head around that.
“You don’t have to thank me for coming to check on you when you’re not feeling well, Bellamy.” He tucks my flyaway hair behind my ear, and it’s hard not to melt. “I wanted to take care of you,” he says, his voice soft. His blue eyes, boring into mine, will me to trust him.
That’s part of the issue. I do trust him, but I shouldn’t. My mom trusted my dad, and look how that turned out. I can’t fall into the same trap.
“Be safe driving home,” I say, trying to keep my tears at bay. I don’t know why I’m so emotional all of a sudden. That’s a lie. I do know why. I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay, but I can’t do this. I can’t fall for a football player. I won’t be able to handle the heartbreak. My dad leaving me for his job was one thing, but choosing a man who could potentially do the same thing… I just can’t do it.
I can’t knowingly sign up for a broken heart. It hurts too much already, and he’s not even mine.
Reid climbs to his feet. “Can I have a hug?” he asks, his voice sounding sad.
I nod, feeling the tears burn. I should say no, but I want his arms around me. “Yes,” I reply softly, trying to mask the sound of tears clogging my throat.
“Come here,” he says, sliding his arm around my waist and pulling me into his chest. He holds me tightly, and I’m about three seconds away from losing this battle with my tears. I can’t let him see me cry. “Call me if you need me.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, because even though I don’t want them to, his words mean everything to me.
He pulls back and presses his lips to my forehead. “Lock up behind me,” he says, kissing my forehead one last time, before turning and walking away.
I stand frozen as I watch him walk out the door, and as soon as I hear the click telling me he’s gone, my tears start to fall. Why does the universe hate me? Why did this man drop into my life? Why is he perfect for me? I drag myself toward the door, twist the lock, and turn off the lights before shuffling to my bedroom and crying myself to sleep.
“We shouldn’t be here,” I tell Amanda, as I pull my car into Corie and Knox’s driveway.
“What? Why not?” she asks.
“These arehispeople. I’m just making this harder for both of us.” It’s been a week since training camp started, and Reid has called me every night. He always sounds dead on his feet, but he calls me without fail before he goes to bed. Every night, I tell myself that I’m not going to answer, but I crave his gruff, exhausted voice in my ear each night before I go to bed. I keep telling myself I can’t have him, but there are two sides to every coin. The other side is that I want him. His persistenceis something no man before him has ever had. He knows my hangups with his career, and no matter how tired or how long a day he’s had, he makes time for me, and that warms a part of my heart that’s been cold and jaded for far too long.
“It’s fine. We were invited. Besides, I’m pretty sure that Reid will be stoked to find out that you’re hanging out withhispeople,” she replies.
“I’m making this harder on myself,” I grumble.
“Finally!” Amanda exclaims. “She finally gets it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you pushing that man away when it’s obvious to anyone who’s looking that he’s head over heels for you.”
“He’s not.” Even as I say the words, there’s a tiny piece of me that says that’s a lie. Reid has continued to show up, to keep his word, and he never stops asking to spend time with me. I don’t know about head over heels, but our time together definitely affected him just as much as it did me. He’s just allowing himself to act on it. I, on the other hand, am scared to death to let myself believe we could make this thing between us work.
“Okay, queen of denial. I love you, Bella, you’re my bestie, my ride or die, but with this, when it comes to Reid, you’re wrong. You’re letting your parents' past keep you from what very well could be a fairy-tale future.”
“Fairy tales don’t exist in real life,” I counter.
“Uh-uh,” she says, reaching for the door handle and climbing out.
“I guess we’re doing this,” I mutter as I grab my keys, purse, and phone and quickly follow her to the front door. Corie said to bring nothing but ourselves, that we’d order in, so here we are, empty-handed, getting ready to knock on their door. I’m about to put myself further into his world willingly. I’m itching to run,to race back to my place and hide, but I know that Amanda would never let me. I just need to suck it up.
It’s one night, right? What’s the worst that could happen?
Amanda’s hand is raised to knock when the door opens to three smiling faces. “You’re here!” Sloane and Rowan reach for our hands and drag us inside, while Corie bounces Camden on her hip. Their excitement makes me smile.
“Thanks for having us,” I tell Corie. Reaching out, I tickle Camden’s feet, and he giggles. “Are you crashing girls’ night, little man?” I ask him.
