Page 76 of A Million Times, Yes
A response that stabbed me in the fucking gut.
“And I hate that what’s happening between us is affecting you so much that it’s making you run the fastest you ever have.” I gulped down half my beer. “And I hate that you’ve worked yourself so hard, you’ve made yourself ache.” I tried holding it back, put every fucking bit of effort into it, but caved: “Because I want nothing more than to lie you across that bed and massage the hurt out of you.”
“Jordan—”
“I know. I promised. But I won’t take a word of it back. It’s how I feel. You need to know that.”
She was still. There wasn’t even anything in her mouth at this point.
But there was so much happening in her eyes.
She couldn’t hide the war inside them.
“We’re going to get past this, Maya.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I care about you. Because for the first time in my life, I’m enamored with a woman, and I want to be with her.” I went to reach for her thigh, and halfway there, my hand midair, I halted and pulled it back. “I’ll stop. I know you don’t want to talk about this.”
She lifted one of the fresh spring rolls and dipped it in peanut sauce. “You might be the worst promise keeper I’ve ever met.” She gave me a small smile.
I laughed. “I deserve that title.” I took several bites of the papaya salad. “Are you working tomorrow?”
“Yes, for the next three days straight.”
“And then?”
“Then”—she sighed—“I plan to not leave my bed until I have to go back to work two days later.”
“Maybe I can convince you to leave your bed and go out with me.”
“Out? With you?”
“Sounds like fucking torture, I know.”
“I don’t mean it that way, I just ...”
“Need time.”
She took several breaths and looked down at her lap. “Jordan, to be honest, I don’t know what I need. My head is all over the place. And having you here isn’t helping.” She glanced up at me.
“My plan’s working, then.” I winked. “You’ll think about it?”
She gradually nodded. “I will.” After a few seconds, she gave me another smile and picked up a chunky carrot, nibbling on its wavy edge. “Why didn’t I know that you wear glasses?”
“I only wear them when I’m too lazy to put in my contacts or when my eyes are begging for a rest.”
She finished chewing and rubbed the pad of her finger over her lips. “You should wear them more often. They look incredible on you.”
“Was that a compliment?”
“It’s allowed.”
“If roles were reversed, you’d tell me I’m breaking my promise.”
Her shoulders sagged. “You’re right.”
“I don’t care. I’ll take the compliment.” I grinned.
