Page 70 of A Million Times, Yes
She pressed one hand against her chest while touching the corner of each eye with the other. “I need time.”
“I don’t see how that’s going to make this better. All it’s going to do is push us further apart.” My fingers were desperate to be the ones wiping those tears. “How can I make you love me when you don’t want to be around me?”
“Everywhere I look, I see you. Your name on a sign outside construction buildings. Your name affiliated with every Boston sports team. The scent of you whenever I walk into Bettie’s room. I thought my brain was playing tricks on me. Little did I know it was from you visiting her in the evenings and your cologne lingered on her.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Your face is what I’ll see every time I look at your grandmother.” Her head tilted to the side. “You’re far from gone.”
“Mentally, no. But physically, yes.”
Both her hands were now pushing on her chest. “I don’t know how else to get past this.”
The furrow between my brows was larger than the fucking Sumner Tunnel. “What are you saying, Maya?”
“My brain feels full. And my chest”—she stopped to breathe—“is aching in a way I can’t handle. I need a break from everything, and I need it now.”
“Are you telling me you need a couple of hours? Days? Weeks?”
“I don’t know ...” She pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. “But I have to go. A patient needs me and—”
“Maya—”
“I can’t right now, Jordan.”
She walked out of the room, and I stayed against the window, staring at the open doorway, wishing she would come back through it.
What the fuck do I do?
Where do I go from here?
How do I mend a past I had no part of?
The only thing I knew was that nothing I’d said or done in this room had brought her back to me.
I heard footsteps, the sound of rubber soles squeaking on the linoleum floor, and I turned my head just as a woman was walking in.
“Oh! Sorry to bother you,” a woman said. “I didn’t realize ...Jordan?”
She wore the same color scrubs as Maya, her hair blond, her face not one I recognized. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me.
“Do I know you?” I asked.
She stepped inside. “I’m Emily, Maya’s best friend and roommate. I saw you at the hockey game—of course, you didn’t see me, but you know that by now.” One arm crossed her chest, the other hand held her chin. “Are you here to see Maya?”
The best friend.
This would either work in my favor or fuck me even harder.
“I came to see my grandmother. She’s at PT, but she’s normally in this room.”
Her mouth opened wide. “Hold up. Bettie is your grandmother?”
“Yeah . . .”
“That’s a wild coincidence. Does Maya know?”
I nodded. “She left just a minute ago. Walked out, I guess I should say.”
“Oh boy.”
I took a step toward her. “Emily, can I ask you something?”
