Page 123 of The Arrogant One
“There was no doubt in my mind who deserved that pass,” I continued, offering him a soft smile. “I’m in love with you. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you.”
When he didn’t say anything, I finished the rest of what I had poured and set the empty down.
“I left that meeting and called Bryn to tell her the pass was going to you. That I was going home to print out the NDA and I was going to drive to your house or your office, wherever you were, and have the conversation with you. And that’s when I ran into you …”
“Jesus Christ.” He turned silent for several seconds. “I don’t even know what the hell to say. I’m …” His fingers dived into the sides of his hair. “My head is a mess.”
“I’m sure it is.” I moved around the island to where he was standing so there wasn’t any stone separating us. “But I want you to know I’m sorry. For the things I did. For the things I said. For the lies I told you. If I could have been honest, I would have. I swear to God, I would have.”
He wrapped his fingers around the booze, the liquor sloshing against the sides from his grip. “I couldn’t figureout why you wouldn’t invite me to your place, why you wouldn’t want me there.”
“I was hiding Dear Foodie?—”
“I know.” He ground his teeth over his bottom lip. “Or why I saw you at Musik, but you wouldn’t go to the hockey game with me. I took that shit personally when I saw you’d made the reservation four days prior to going, and you were there for two and a half hours and said nothing to me about it.”
I rubbed the wetness off my eyelashes. “All things I would have told you if I could. And I wanted to. I wanted to so badly, Lockhart.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “I believe that. And I believe you. I just …”
“You just … hate me? You can’t stand the sight of me?”
He rubbed his hands over his face, and when I finally got his eyes again, he said in the most harrowing voice, “I’m worried we were based on a lie.”
“Never. Nothing that even remotely resembles one.” The emotion was pouring in and out of me. Every time I took a breath, I swore it swished into my lips and swirled through my chest and went straight to my stomach and came up through my eyes. “I don’t want you to think that. And I don’t want you to think I chose my job over you. And I don’t want you to think that any of this was a choice—it wasn’t.” I slid my palms over my bare arms. “When I went to my boss and begged him to let me break my NDA, that’s when I made a choice.” My fingers stilled. “Because I love you.”
“Sadie …”
“I do. I’m completely in love with you.”
“Sadie—”
“And I want you to know the night we met at Horned, I was there as Dear Foodie, but that’s not who you met. That’s not who you took to your hotel room. And that’s not whosebody you had sex with. That was all me. This whole time, all you’ve ever experienced is me.”
I closed the distance between us and held on to his shoulders. “Be mad at me—I deserve that. Be hurt—I deserve that too. Be disappointed. Tell me I handled everything wrong.” I moved up to his face and held it while the tears poured down mine. “But don’t tell me I-I ruined us-s. Don’t tell me this-s is unforgivable. And p-please … don’t tell me that you don’t l-love me.”
I felt his exhales. They were coming out hard and fast.
“That’s why this hurts so fucking bad.”
My fingers fanned his cheeks. “You d-don’t have to forget. You don’t even h-have to forgive me—at least not n-now. But tell me w-we’re somehow, someway, going to be okay-y. That we can eventually move on from th-this.” The drips were running so fast from my eyes; I couldn’t stop them from flowing past my chin. “That I w-won’t have to live my life without y-you.” I could taste the saltiness on my lips. “I don’t want to live without you. I-I don’t even want to spend a day without you?—”
I was suddenly in his arms. My face on his chest. My breathing matching his.
“Lockhart …” My tears were staining his shirt. But beneath the soft cotton was the warmth of his skin, and I needed that.
“We’re going to be okay.” His hug was so tight that it confirmed everything he’d just said.
I clung to him. My fingers. My arms. Even my face was somehow holding on to him. “You really mean that?”
“Yes.” His lips pressed against the top of my head, and when he lifted them off, I tilted my chin up to look at him, and he began to wipe the wetness off my skin. “Because I love you, Sadie.”
THIRTY-THREE
Hart
Nothing was perfect. I’d learned that in some of the most humbling ways over my career, and today was no exception.
The negotiations with the owner and chef of Horned, going back and forth multiple times, had been painful. Now we were waiting for her to sign off on our last and final offer or to tell us to fuck off.
