Page 122 of The Arrogant One
“On our relationship.”
I nodded. “Yes, it was.” I sighed. “And that’s the reality of a binding agreement. It doesn’t matter who it hurts, and it doesn’t matter who I have to lie to.”
He banged his fist on the counter. “Sadie, this is so fucked.”
“Believe me, I know.” I quickly glanced at the ceiling. “Do you know how hard it is not to say anything to my extended family? My aunts and uncles and cousins? Or any of my friends, aside from Bryn?” I felt my chest contract even tighter. “Or my boyfriend?”
I picked up the glass, gazing at the tiny bead of amber liquor that rolled around the bottom. “It doesn’t matter how much I despise that aspect of my job. There’s nothing I can do about it. I knew that when I signed their contract. And all these years later, I’ve never regretted it. Until now.”
As my stomach churned, my eyes burning with tears, Ibrought the tumbler into the living room, filled it with several fingers’ worth, poured a second glass, and carried them into the kitchen, handing him one.
I positioned the liquor against my lips, but I didn’t take a drink. I just breathed in the aroma.
I needed him to speak.
I needed to know where his head was at.
“Please, Lockhart, say something.”
He hissed out some air. “I don’t even know where to fucking start.”
“Start anywhere.”
His head hung, and he didn’t lift it. He just looked at me through his lashes. “I understand you’re under contract. I understand what kind of obligation you have toSeen. But I can’t help but feel pissed off that I wasn’t told until today. I shared things with you about our company, how we want to buy Horned—that’s something I wouldn’t have told you if I had known you were Dear Foodie.” He let a few seconds tick by. “I think you carried this on for too long.”
“I probably did, yes. But there are many parts to this that you don’t know.”
“Tell me.” His fingers tightened into a ball. “Make me understand all of it. Because, Sadie …” His voice drifted off, and he turned his head.
My heart shuddered.
He couldn’t even look at me.
I had to make this right.
“When my boss asked me to review Charred and Musik, we were already dating. The weight that consumed me over that request, I can barely describe it. I felt sick.” I let out a long breath. “I still do, especially knowing that Toro is coming next. But my boss’s requests didn’t stop there. He asked if I would travel to other Charred locations across the country and reviewthem, comparing them to the LA location for an extended feature on The Weston Group. The viewership is so high right now.Seenis exploding. He doesn’t want the heat to die.”
I shifted, holding on to the counter, every part of me feeling weak. “But do you know the kind of pressure that put on me? The kind of heatIfelt from that request? I have to be honest in the words I write forSeen, and I have been honest. But now my boss is afraid that I’m too biased to write Toro’s review, and …” My eyes were windows that allowed him to look in, and I knew he was seeing everything. “I’m afraid I am too.” My hands moved to the top of my head. “What if I don’t love Toro? What does that mean? For you? For me? ForSeen? For The Weston Group?” I rubbed my lips together, patting my chest to push the air through. “So, I had the Charred review, the Musik review, and the Toro review—all eating at me. And then my boss wanted to send me out foranotherfeature? No. I couldn’t handle more. Not for the Westons—not when I’m in love with you.”
There was an immediate change in him.
In the animosity in his eyes.
In the grimness of his lips.
Both lessening—even if it was slight.
But I still had a long way to go, and I still had so much more to explain.
“This morning, when I was in bed with you, I hit my breaking point. I couldn’t take another second of the lies. So, I went to his office.” I moved my hair off my shoulders and slipped out of my cardigan, setting it on the counter, my anxiousness making me sweat. “For one, to turn down his offer of traveling and tell him I couldn’t review another Weston restaurant after Toro. And two, to discuss my NDA because I wanted to breach it for you.”
I took several sips of whiskey. “I don’t discuss my personallife with my boss. But today, I did. I told him how we had met. How I felt about you. And how I wanted to come clean to you.” Every detail of that meeting was circling in my head. “He said he would give me one pass and one pass only, as long as that person signed an NDA withSeen. And I shouldn’t waste that pass until I was absolutely positive I was in love.” I wrapped my arms around my stomach, my face tilting as I gazed at him. “As soon as he said that to me, Lockhart …”
I stopped to take a breath.
To observe his expression.
To process that once this was spoken, I could never take it back.
