Page 71 of The Heartbreaker
Or me?
Which prompted the question, “When did you fall in love with water?”
She slowly looked at me. The sun was warming her freckles, and her hair was flying into her face from the breeze. I didn’t tuck it away. Instead, I took out my phone and pulled up the camera and snapped a photo, tilting the screen toward her.
“So you can see what I see.”
As she looked at the picture of herself, her smile grew—something I hadn’t thought was possible.
“When?” she asked as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. “As far back as I can remember. We didn’t take a ton of vacations when I was growing up. Mostly just places we could drive to. But each of those instances revolved around water.” She tucked a chunk of her hair away, and it immediately returned. “I remember my parents turning into totally different people when they were near an ocean. They’d build sandcastles with us and take us swimming. There was so much laughter and fun.” She paused. “It wasn’t that way at home. They both worked nonstop, and when they weren’t, they were stressing about work.”
“Like you were on the way over here …”
She released a long breath. “You noticed.”
I put my hand on her lower back. “You might think I don’t know you at all, and it’s true that we just recently met, but I’m learning you, Addison. What I saw during the drive was nothing but stress.”
She faced the water again, balling her body up even tighter. “You really are learning me.”
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
Her eyes closed.
While I waited for her answer, I took a drink of the rosé I’d packed for us in the cooler.
“I wish this world didn’t revolve around money,” she finally said, her voice soft and full of emotion. “That’s what got me in this situation.”
“What situation?”
She gradually turned her head to look at me. “Having to work at the strip club.”
“But it’s temporary.” I lifted my hand to her face, moving the hair that was now clinging to her lips. “You said yourself that after a month or two, you’ll be done.”
“I don’t know if that’s true anymore.”
I searched her eyes. “What changed?”
“Nothing.” She mashed her lips together. “I just took a hard look at what I owe, and it’s worse than I thought.”
“How much are we talking, Addison?”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “Do you really want to discuss this?”
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”
She rocked over the blanket, reaching for her wine and taking a long drink. “I owe my sister twenty thousand. In addition to that, I owe about one hundred twenty-five thousand in student loans, and I need no less than thirty-five hundred a month to live—and that’s living modestly with little to no extras. The math doesn’t math on my teaching salary.” She went quiet, rubbing her hands over her knees. “The club has helped a lot, especially with the payments to my sister. I’ve paid her almost half. But I need to put a dent in my student loans, or I’ll just continue to drown.” She placed her forehead on her knees. “That’s why I’m going to have to work there past the two-month mark. If I can whittle away at the one hundred twenty-five grand, I’ll be in a much better situation.”
My life had gone so differently. My father had paid my college tuition—I never even had to think about taking out a loan or making a payment. And as soon as I graduated, I’d walkedinto an executive role with a salary in the high six figures. That was nine years ago. Since then, my earnings had quadrupled—an increase I knew wasn’t normal by any stretch.
That didn’t mean I didn’t sympathize. That I didn’t fucking ache for her. That my heart didn’t break to hear what she had to sacrifice just to make things work—and it sounded like they were barely working.
Not only was she someone I cared about, but she was my daughter’s teacher. Her role in my life held so much meaning.
But this went deeper than only being Daisy’s first-grade teacher and having debt.
“This affects us, doesn’t it?” I asked.
She lifted her forehead to look at me, eventually nodding. “I can’t, out of good conscience, be with you while I’m still there. That doesn’t mean I want things to end. I’m not saying that at all.” Her hand found mine and held on. “I just want us to go slow. Like turtle slow. And once I can kick the club to the curb, things will be a lot different for me. For us.” She squeezed my fingers. “But I understand if you don’t want to wait—I know I’m asking a lot. I know I’m putting restraints on something that should be growing, and that isn’t fair, and it’s extremely selfish, and I feel like shit about it—about all of it.”
