Page 66 of The Heartbreaker
I sat up a little higher, puffing the pillow behind my back, picking up the spreadsheet that I’d been going over before I fell asleep.
The numbers just weren’t mathing.
All I’d wanted to do since I had been a kid was teach. I absolutely loved children. I wanted to be a part of molding their future.
But when I had been working toward that dream, I hadn’t anticipated how I was going to financially survive.
Because when I looked at the columns and rows of my expenses—the amount I needed to live on every month, plus howmuch it cost to put a roof over my head and have a car to drive and what I owed in bills and to my sister, I was in the negative.
Not just by a little, but by a lot.
The money I needed to send to Morgan was far more than I could afford. Without stripping, there was no way I’d be able to make the payments to her. And what I was looking at right now, how far behind I was, I would more than likely have to keep the job at the strip club for longer than I’d planned, or I’d never be able to get caught up.
Unless I hit the lottery—something I didn’t even play since I didn’t want to waste money on a ticket.
It was the most defeating feeling.
That even though I sacrificed, that I worked instead of partied, that I raided Leah’s closet instead of buying new clothes, that I saved instead of spent, it still wasn’t enough.
Ridge
My morning view. The only thing that would make it better is if you were looking at it with me.
I stared at the photo Ridge had sent. It showed the most breathtaking waves and the deepest, bluest water and the sandy shore that sparkled from the sun. If I closed my eyes, I’d be able to feel it. Smell it. Taste the salty sea on my tongue.
But I couldn’t.
I had a class of first graders who were silently completing a reading comprehension worksheet. If they looked up and saw my eyes closed, all hell would break loose.
Me
You’re so sweet. :)
BTW, I’m extremely jealous. Kiss the ocean for me. Tell it I miss it.
Ridge
You should go to the beach this weekend.
Me
I’m working at the club. I suppose I could go late morning, but I just have so much to do at home.
Ridge
You need to start making time for you, Addison.
Me
Are you Dad-ing me right now?
LOL.
Ridge
Yes—because you need it. The beach, I mean. ;)
Me
