Page 28 of Wannabe in Wyoming
As I write this, knowing that I will never send it, I question my sanity. Why am I torturingmyself this way? Though I don’t suppose it makes much of a difference. The memory of you lives so strong within me, I know that for the rest of my days, you’ll be the only woman I’ll ever love. Yes. Woman. No matter what our families say, you are a woman. My woman. Just as I am your man. It will always be so, even as the miles between us stretch on forever, you’re in my heart and I can only pray that I’m in yours as well.
Leaving you behind today was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I will never get the image of your tear-stained face from my mind. Your sorrow slayed me and broke my heart into a million pieces. Even streaked with tears, with red, swollen eyes, you’re still the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I know your heart is shattered, just as mine is. I know you’ll probably blame me for not fighting harder for us. Love shouldn’t come with conditions. As pure as my feelings for you are, your family is right in some ways. I’m too old for you. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you don’t need a poor bastard like me hanging like a load-stone around your pretty neck. While part of me knows that, the other part is unwilling to let you go forever.
My parents insisted I go to my uncle’s ranch in Antelope Rock, Wyoming, where I can work for him. I’m on my way there now, since I have nowhere else to go. Can you imagine? A south Philly boy like me living in Wyoming? I’ve visited him there before. It’s been a few years though, but I mostly know what to expect. I don’t think it’ll be a bad life, other than living there without you. But, Cherry baby, you know if I tried to stay with you, I’d be in jail and you’d still be alone. I care nothing for myself, but I can’t let you live with that guilt.
They’re calling my bus. I have to go. I love you, Cherry, always and forever, until the stars burn out and the sky falls, my heart will beat for you.
Always yours,
J
* * *
Willow carefully re-foldedthe letter and returned it to its envelope. Her movements were precise and careful. She was positive if she moved too quickly, she’d splinter into minuscule pieces, never to be the same. Something wet splashed against the back of her hand, and she realized she was crying. Helpless under the onslaught of her emotions, she gave up fighting and allowed herself to feel every iota of injustice, rage, and grief. Sobs tore painfully from her throat as she gasped for air.
“Willow!” Nathan shouted, and his heavy footfalls ran toward her.
Within seconds, she was gathered tightly in his embrace as her heart broke for the love her parents had and were denied. It all made sense now. Well, maybe not all, but a few things were clearer to her now. Others were still a mystery. Her father hadn’t mentioned the pregnancy—had he not known?
“Willow, baby?” The concern in Nathan’s voice just made her cry harder. It wasn’t fair! Her parents had been torn apart bytheirparents. Instead of letting Willow, her mother, and Jason be a family, they hadn’t given them any choice.
“J-just . . .” She hiccupped, then managed to get the rest of her plea out. “Don’t let me go.”
“Never, baby, that’s never going to happen.” He pulled her fully into his lap and rocked her gently while running his fingers through her hair and kissing her temple. “I’ve got you, shh. It’s okay.”
Clutching fistfuls of his shirt, she let herself cry in a way she hadn’t since she’d been a child. Her chest ached with the force of it, and her head was starting to pound, but still the tears flowed.
She didn’t know how much time passed as he held her, but neither moved until her gasping sobs slowed and finally stopped. Nathan’s shirt was soaked under her cheek, but she made no effort to leave his comforting embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered in a hoarse voice.
He ran a hand up and down her back in a soothing manner. “Nothing to be sorry for, Wannabe. Come on—up you go. I want you to drink a glass of water, take some Tylenol, and get into bed. When you wake up, you can tell me all about it.”
Willow allowed him to pull her to her feet, and she followed each of his instructions, downing an ice-cold glass of water and two white pills. He led her into her bedroom where he closed the blinds on the windows before carefully stripping her of her shoes and jeans. There was nothing even remotely sexual about his actions—he was caring for her on the most basic of levels.
Once her head hit the pillow, he pulled the blanket up to her chin, dropped a kiss on her forehead, and turned to leave.
“Wait,” she said, grabbing his hand. “Stay with me. Please?”
Wordlessly nodding his ascent, he kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed behind her. Pulling her close, he shifted them both around until they were spooned together. His warmth seemed to settle into her very bones and her muscles finally relaxed.
“Sleep, baby, I’ll be right here when you wake up.” Nathan pressed his lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear. “Rest. I’ve got you.”
She drifted off with the rich scent of him thick in her nose and a cocoon of utter contentment surrounding her.
Chapter Twenty
Willow woketo the heat and hard press of a man at her back. Momentarily disoriented, it took her a second to remember she’d fallen asleep in Nathan’s arms. He must have dozed off with her. She hadn’t shared a bed with a man since her divorce, and even during her marriage, there were many nights where one of them would pass out on the couch, leaving the other to sleep alone. She didn’t remember having someone else in her bed ever feeling this nice.
Wiggling backward, she rubbed her ass against his groin, eliciting a groan and a shift of his hips in return. “Willow, what are you doing?” he murmured.
“Getting comfortable.” She held the arm he had around her chest tighter against herself, clutching at him like a security blanket. “I don’t want to think for a few minutes, so just go with it.”
“Okay, baby. Whatever you need. Just, maybe keep the ass wiggles to a minimum, hmm? You’re all warm and soft from sleep, and it’s sexy as hell. I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”
She couldn’t restrain her soft laughter, and of course, a little poking the bear was in order. She rubbed her ass firmly against his crotch. “Is that a gun in your pocket, cowboy, or are you just happy to see me?”
He tugged his arm from her grasp and moved it down to her hips, before tightening his hold and halting her teasing. “I know what you’re doing.”
