Page 81 of A Storm of Fire and Ash
“Mother,” I whispered. “Gods, I’m so sorry.”
The apology cracked something wide open. Tears spilled before I could stop them, hot and fast, soaking into the grass as if they could reach her somehow.
“If I could bring you back… I would. I’d trade anything,” I choked. “I’d burn every kingdom. I’d give up every ounce of magic—just to see you again. Just to hear your voice.”
The cold breeze seeped into my skin, but I didn’t care. I curled into myself, my body trembling with sobs I didn’t know how to swallow. Guilt sank its claws into my ribs and twisted.
“I didn’t know how to save you, I couldn’t heal you,” I cried. “And I’m so tired of being sad, tired of living this life without you. I wasn’t strong enough. I failed you. And I—I don’t know how to be without you.”
Mother’s life was like a river running home—wild, unstoppable, and destined.I laid my cheek to the soft earth as if I could listen for her heartbeat beneath it, but there was only silence.
And then—something shifted.
A spark flared low in my belly. My magic stirred.
It started as a buzz under my skin, like static crackling in my veins. Then heat rolled through me, pulsing like fire licking along my spine. My breath caught. The air shimmered. I could feel it. Magic, thick and alive. My magic, but also… not. It was ancient. Electric. Too big for my body.
“Flameborn.”
“Great, it’s you again,” I said out loud as I wiped my tears with my sleeve.
“Don’t cry, Flameborn. Everything happens as it should,”he said in a low, gravelly voice. It rumbled like thunder in a storm that hadn’t reached the shore.
I sat upright, still on my knees. “Who are you? I’m tired of you getting in my head, telling me to help you. Tell me who you are first.” I called aloud, though I knew it wasn’t coming from the outside.
No answer. Just a weight in my head. And then—
“I am no ghost, if that’s what you fear.I’ve watched you longer than you know.”
“Well, that’s a little creepy,” I said sarcastically.He growled so loud in my mind, I felt my skull vibrate. Alright, guess he doesn’t like jokes.“I am not afraid of ghosts, even if you were one,”I said back silently, and then continued.“Who are you, so help me Morgath,”My hands clenched into fists.
“I am simply a guardian.Of a gate. A place where spirits pass and the old world remembers what the living forget.”The deep voice sounded like it was smiling now.
I gasped. “You said… you guard a gate?” My voice broke. “Can you bring her to me?”
A pause. Then,“Only if you forgive yourself first.”
The words hit like ice water.
“What?”I whispered.
“You are not worthy yet, Elara Valdusian Aehteron.”
Anger flared—raw, fast.“You think I don’t know that?!”
“You think shame makes you broken,”the voice countered, still calm.“But it only keeps you chained.”
“I don’t care,” I snapped, now only speaking to him out loud. “I want to see her. I need to.”
“And you will. One day. When the fire inside you stops eating itself and you free it.”
I pressed a shaking hand to my chest. That empty place where my heart used to be. “Then help me.”
Silence.
For a moment, I thought he’d left. That maybe I’d imagined all of it.Then the voice returned, quieter. Almost… gentle.
“Misundranaryan.”
