Page 18 of A Storm of Fire and Ash
As if Eryn could read my emotions, she said, “Relax. I changed you. Zayn is too proper to have done that. You practically burned through your clothes and almost his cloak. You’ll have to learn to harness your fire so it doesn’t affect your clothing.”
My cheeks flushed a deep crimson as I realized my faux pas. “I’m so sorry! I will change out of his clothes right away!” I had stammered, crossing my arms in front of me in a futile attempt to cover up.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what you wear. Why in the Divine would you apologize for that?” she had asked, genuine confusion etched across her features, her brow furrowing slightly.
“Oh, um… aren’t you two together?” I blurted, unsure of why the thought of them as a couple made my heart race.
Eryn burst into laughter, a warm, melodic sound that echoed delightfully off the stone walls of the room. I chuckled, too, although I was baffled as to why we were laughing.
“Great Divine, I can’t wait to tell Zayn that! That’s hysterical. I like you,” she had said, a teasing glint in her eyes. “But no, My Lady… Zayn is not… my type. He is more like a brother to me as I am a sister to him,” she added with a playful shake of her head.
My Lady… I don’t think I like being called that.
Relief washed over me, leaving me puzzled at the unexpected weight of concern I had felt regarding Eryn’s feelings for Zayn. Why had it mattered to me? I found myself wrestling with the question even as Eryn urged, “Now, get settled and dressed. The princewill be here any minute.”
Chapter Five
I felt utterly paralyzed, as if caught in a storm of my own making. My thoughts swirled chaotically, intertwining with waves of emotions that slammed into me with such force, threatening to drown me in despair. I could feel the tremors of a panic attack looming, ready to consume me whole.
With urgency, I pulled on the soft tunic and fitted leather trousers that Eryn had thoughtfully given me; the fabric felt comforting against my skin, even as my heart raced. Strapping on my worn boots, I prepared to face the world outside, but a nagging thought tugged at my mind.
Where was my bow—
The realization washed over me like icy water: everything I had ever cherished, every possession I held dear, had been reduced to nothing but ashes, scattered and lost, much like my shattered heart. In an instant, I had unwittingly dismantled my entire existence, and the weight of that knowledge pressed heavily upon my soul. I could never forgive myself for this catastrophe. It should have been me who died in the flames, not my mother. The bitter taste of regret lingered in my mouth, a constant reminder of the tragic choices I had made.
I wished I were dead.
My emotions swelled within me, begging to break free. A new, foreign feeling of raw energy and magic bubbled under the surface, yearning to escape, and with it came another wave of panic. I had no idea how to wield this power that lurked inside me. Desperately, I brought my fingers to my ears and found them still rounded from whatever magic Zayn used to conceal them, thank the gods.
I grasped the edge of the sink in Zayn’s bathroom, the cold porcelain grounding me as I fixed my gaze on thereflection that stared back. My face bore no overt signs of change, yet within, I felt like a shattered fragment of what I once was. I had anticipated the darkness that should have taken root in my eyes, but all I saw reflected at me was an abyss of sadness—a weight I felt I had earned.
It should have been me.
As tears began to spill down my cheeks, I was consumed by the urge to scream, to unleash the chaos that boiled within. My heart raced, each breath grew more labored, tightening like a vice around my throat.
I needed to get the fuck out of here.
I pushed away from the cold sink and bolted toward the heavy door, my heart pounding like a war drum in my chest. As I flung it open, a rush of cool air filled my lungs, and I took off running, my feet pounding against the stone floor. I had no clear destination in mind; all I wanted was to break free from this suffocating prison that felt like it was closing in around me.
“Elara! Stop!” Eryndor’s voice echoed behind me, sharp and filled with urgency, but I didn’t dare look back. I could barely decipher the jumbled words she had shouted as I had flown down a seemingly endless flight of stairs, each step a desperate bid for freedom.
The descent had felt eternal, the dim light casting long shadows that danced ominously around me.
I zipped past a guard, barely avoiding a collision with his solid frame. “Divine! Watch where you’re going, you wee twat!” he bellowed, his voice a mix of surprise and irritation, but I couldn’t afford to slow down. Fear propelled my legs, spurring me onward as my magic threatened to pour out of me.
Finally, I burst through the last door, landing in what appeared to be a kitchen within the castle. The scent of herbs and warm bread filled the air, clashing with the adrenaline that surged through me. Three women, their faces a canvasof confusion, and one imposing man turned to regard me with blank stares.
“Dearie, are you lost?” the short woman asked, her voice laced with a mixture of concern and curiosity, as if I had been a stray cat wandering into an unfamiliar backyard. I could feel my magic simmering dangerously close to the surface—a bomb ready to explode.
“Outside,” I gasped, breathless and desperate, “how do I get outside?!” I shut my eyes tightly, dug my long, sharp nails into my palms, and tried to stifle the fire that brewed within me. Beads of sweat began to trickle down my forehead, mixing with the tension that enveloped the air around me.
“Just out that door,” Her soft voice chimed as she pointed toward a set of imposing iron doors behind me. “Can I get you anything?” she asked, her tone deceptively sweet. The other three figures nearby watched me intently.
I hadn’t bothered responding. Instead, I had shaken my head vehemently and sprinted toward the doors. I hadn’t been prepared for the pain that awaited me.
As I pressed my palms against the cold surface of the heavy doors, a searing heat shot through me, igniting my skin and causing blisters to form almost instantly. But I had welcomed the agony; it grounded me, reminding me that I was still alive and fighting. With a fierce hiss escaping my lips, I pushed the doors open with every ounce of strength I possessed, sunlight flooding my vision like a long-lost friend.
I rushed into the light, adrenaline surging through my veins. Ahead lay the inviting embrace of the woods—my sanctuary. I knew that if I could just reach them, I could navigate my way to the cliffside, where I could finally breathe freely.
