Page 15 of Safety Net
Finn’s shoulders relaxed. “New plan.”
“We’re Lincoln.” Naomi hurried past me to stand behind Finn. He tried to turn around to get a good look at her, but she held onto his shoulders, keeping him steady and facing me.
“I feel so silly,” I mourned when I realized I needed two people to help me feel comfortable talking to one guy who probably hadn’t given me a passing thought since we last spoke.
“Don’t feel silly,” Naomi said. “This isn’t silly. This is you trying to get better. Now, take a deep breath and be yourself.”
I took the breath. Being me was the more challenging exercise.
“Hi… Lincoln.” I winced.
“Hi… Celeste,” Finn said in a tone that gave my stiffness a run for its money. Oh, God, we sounded like cardboard cutouts trying to mimic real humans.
Naomi whispered something, and Finn added, “I’m glad we’re finally getting a chance to talk.”
“So am I?” My shaky voice exposed my full-body tremors.
“Surety,” Naomi reminded me.
I cleared my throat and repeated ten percent steadier, “So am I.”
“What’s…uh, going on?” Finn shook his head, red burning at his own unsteadiness.
Knowing that I wasn’t fumbling alone made it easier to smile a little at him. “I’m working on this project… It’s for a mentorship program. Or rather, an application for a mentorship program... It’s a musical. Or rather, it will be…”
“Wait, sorry.” He frowned, his voice a little less disapproving and a little more curious. “You wrote a musical?”
This was Finn speaking. The impressed nature of his reaction was genuine.
I rocked back and forth on my heels, smiling a bit wider. “I did.”
“What’s it about?”
My heart was in my throat as I realized I was going to have to share this with him. With Lincoln. With dozens of other people, if I planned to go through with this. If I wanted to succeed, I’d have to be seen and heard. It wouldn’t all fall on the music, even if I thought it should speak for itself.
“It’s not anything new or?—”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” Naomi peeked her head out from behind Finn. “Don’t diminish your work before you’vegiven him a chance to enjoy it. Let him decide if it’s good for himself.”
“I was managing expectations,” I said.
“Not your job. You’re busy enough as is.” She disappeared behind her boyfriend once more.
Finn’s gaze softened, and he almost offered me a smile. “Managing expectations feels like a decent way to protect your ego; I get it. But she’s right. Let Lincoln and others decide if they enjoy it.”
I nodded, adding their advice to the laundry list of things I needed to internalize. It was exhausting trying to keep track of everything. And even more so to attempt implementation, but I willed myself forward.
“It doesn’t have to be something new,” Finn added. “People love things that remind them of what they love.”
“It’s a nod toThe Nutcracker,” I said.
“That’s a ballet? Right?” he asked. “What’s it about?”
I brushed off my surprise, remembering that not everyone was familiar with theatre. Especially not a guy who was recovering from a brain injury.
“It’s about a girl, a Nutcracker who comes to life, and their adventures in a fairytale world.”
“Sounds whimsical,” Finn said. “Lincoln loves whimsical.”
