Page 110 of Safety Net
He didn't say anything, but from the delayed nod, I figured he was impressed their feedback hadn't rolled off my back. Or that my photo finish with the sets hadn't lulled me into a false sense of security.
With the playhouse set priority crossed off my list, it was vital I began this whole betterment journey, or else live with the cyclical nature of my avoidance. I wasn’t sure how to change everything about how my mind reacted to struggle, so I started with familiarity. I started with red strings and far too many notes.
Developing a decent plan took hours. I sat on the ground in my room, putting everything I hoped to achieve in life on blue lines of paper. I avoided fear the best I could because after a few hours of writing, I realized somewhere along the line, wanting things had become embarrassing. Almost shameful. Because what lost cause dared to want?
My handwriting was abysmal, and the effort, herculean. The entire morning and afternoon passed, resulting in a three-year plan that didn't make me want to throw up. The work would be brutal, and sinking that much time into myself would be risky. But if I'd learned anything from being with Celeste, it was that even with all the uncertainty and doubt, trying was better than standing still. Seeing the plan laid out before feels like stepping on solid ground after being at sea for years.
Henrik
It's almost time. You coming down soon?
I frowned and responded,
What?
Henrik
Did you forget about presentation night?
I checked the clock and laughed to myself. Since the abrupt end of last season, I had been the only one to remember the tradition I started. So, I'm shocked to find everyone in the living room with the TV already on and Finn fiddling with the HDMI cord that's plugged into Naomi's laptop. It was her and my night to present a PowerPoint of our choice.
"Hey," I said when I saw Celeste on the couch. Any lingering stress filtered out of me, replaced with the solace of her presence.
She sat underneath a blanket, her fingers tangled in a black string Aderyn adjusted. "I didn't know you were here. Why didn't you come up?"
"It's because we intercepted and wanted her to hang out with us. You're going to have to get used to shared custody," Naomi teased from her spot in front of the TV.
Celeste smiled at me and leaned her head back on the couch, so I'd have an easy time planting an upside-down kiss on her forehead.
"I came over to surprise you," she said. "I didn't know you guys had plans tonight."
"So, they lured you in?" I placed my hands on either side of her shoulders, watching Aderyn show Celeste how to make a ladder.
"You're a natural," Aderyn encouraged, her string art a bit tighter and cleaner.
"Thanks." Celeste smiled shyly, unable to make eye contact but able to take a compliment. Progress. Slow and steady progress. I admired this woman for it. Loved her for it.
"Want to try a shooting star next?" Aderyn asked.
Celeste nodded, bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she listened to Aderyn's instructions. I placed one more kiss on top of her head before venturing into the kitchen, where Sam and Henrik were.
"They're getting along," I said to Sam as our girlfriends laughed at their tangled fingers and impossible shapes.
"Aderyn's already kicked me off another trip to the mountain," Sam said, pretending to be bothered. "The house is too crowded, and she wants to prioritize the girls, she said."
"Boohoo," I joked. "You're stuck with your house in the mountains with your friends."
"Talk about torture," he grumbled.
A crash from the oven drew our attention to Henrik. He cursed under his breath as he picked up the dropped rolls.
"You good?" I asked, going over to help clean up the mess.
"Great," Henrik said half-heartedly. He didn't even meet my gaze as he tossed the rolls in a bag and moved to take the non-floor snacks into the living room.
"Great?" I asked Sam in a low voice as I watched our friend automatically give everyone food.
"Eden's upstairs," Sam whispered, giving me a look.
