Page 114 of Safety Net
I hadn't gotten to talk to Ophelia while she was in town. Rumor had it, she'd been front and center with a smile on her face the entire show. But she'd disappeared after, and it'd been radio silence since. I'd gone through the five stages of grief, settling into acceptance when I decided to register for the fall semester with just six credits and a new job to help pay for them. It wasn't the dream, but it was a step in the right direction. An independent direction.
"I've been thinking," I confessed when Lincoln gave me a break and kissed down my neck so I could breathe.
"Mm," he asked, focusing on unbuttoning my dress.
"There's this…" I sighed when he kissed my nipples through my thin bralette. Lincoln parted his mouth, teasing the swollen tip with his tongue.
"Shop not far from campus," I managed. The need to address the ache between my legs made my thought-process foggy. I wasn’t sure how people who experienced this for years and years managed.
"The Field," I said, struggling to get air in as Lincoln took turns circling his tongue around my nipples.
He pulled away from me, meeting my gaze with a curious smile. "The sex shop?"
My cheeks burned, but I nodded. I'm close enough to him now to understand I may never completely shed shyness. Still, I would always have the courage to push through it in favor of connecting with him.
"I've never been to one," I said.
"Oh, yeah?" He leaned down to give my breasts a couple more kisses before directing his full attention to me. "You want me to buy you a toy, beautiful?"
I nodded, my clit swollen with the need for his attention as he stared down at me with that dark, knowing look.
"I'll buy you anything you want. But would you play with them in front of me?" he asked, fingers pulling my panties to the side. "Let me watch you?"
"I want to. I want to do a lot of things." I reached for him. Lincoln pulled up, so I only made contact with his chest. His fingers tease my entrance, not going further, not paying any mind to my clit.
"Hold on," he said. "I want to hear what else you want to do."
I arched for him. "I'll tell you."
"BeforeI touch you," he said. "I can't have you getting all quiet on me again."
My skin was aflame with longing. I had brought up wanting different things in our sex life. And I had gotten too afraid to go into detail whenever I climaxed, and the safety haze of desire washed away in place of severe self-consciousness.
After being with Lincoln, the floodgates had opened, and I was what Naomi would refer to as a beginner-level kinky. I wanted Lincoln's hand on my neck when I finished. His cum on my clit. His mouth on me while he cleaned it up.
"It's normal to want to try stuff," Naomi had insisted. I hadn't told her the details, but I had confessed my shame because I'd been bursting with it and had no idea where to put that energy. "Have fun with your sexuality. You have a partner who's safe and wants your pleasure. Have fun."
Lincoln leaned down, placing the lightest of kisses on my clit. I sighed, arching into the cold air.
"Why did you do that if you're not going to continue?" I complained.
"A little incentive never hurt anyone," he teased.
I huffed but gave in. "I want to try those remote-control vibrators."
"The ones where I can change the pace?"
I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek, nervous about continuing.
"Go on." Lincoln offered a thumb on my clit, circling me slowly. I closed my eyes, swallowing a moan so I could continue speaking.
"Clamps, maybe," I murmured.
"You'd look so beautiful with those on," he agreed and leaned in to tease my nipples by gently raking his teeth over them.
"I want to be…on top…" I swallowed, gathered the last bit of courage. "Inside of you."
Lincoln met my gaze, eyes unreadable but hand speaking volumes. He slipped two fingers inside and his thumb firmer as he massaged my clit.
