Page 44 of My Alien Angel
“On it.” The door slides shut, sealing us inside the somewhat claustrophobic interior of the ship. I would have sworn it looked much bigger from the outside but inside, there’s just an open space about the size of my living room, ending in a row of screens on one side and a heavy-duty door on the other. Null is sitting in a captain’s chair in front of the screens, his hands flying over controls I can’t even describe. The ship hums, then shudders. “They brought the big guns,” Null says. He’s not grinning, but I can hear amusement in his voice. “Sit,” he barks at me.
I’d love to strap myself in, but there are no other chairs, so I just curl up in a corner, flinching every time something hits our shields. “By all means, take your time,” I bite out sarcastically when Null doesn’t seem to be doing anything. “It’s not like we’re in a rush or anything.” The ship has no windows so I can’t tell how many soldiers are surrounding us now but, judging by the frequency of the attacks on the shield, I’d bet it’s at least a few dozen.
“Don’t worry, human. I promised to bring you to your friends, so I will. Get ready.”
“For what?!” I yell as a loud noise roars to life throughout the ship. Slapping my hands over my ears, I wince as a high-pitched whine reverberates all of the way through me to my bones. It only takes a second to stop, but I’m left feeling completely disoriented. Then the ship begins to move. I barely feel the change but despite the lack of windows, I’m certain we justachieved an unimaginable speed and would be very much dead if it weren’t for the alien technological wonder protecting us.
“We’re out,” Null reports. There’s more shuddering and distinct sounds of explosions from outside. The battleship must be shooting at us. Fuck. Why did I think this was a good idea?
Despite the magical alien voodoo keeping us from experiencing massive G-forces, I still get tossed this way and that as Null presumably evades the battleship’s fire. At one point, something explodes so close to us that the power glitches, drowning the ship’s interior in impenetrable darkness momentarily before everything comes back online. By the time everything settles and we’re somehow miraculously still alive, I’m hunched over an empty compartment that slid out of the wall when I hit it, puking my guts out. I never really fared well on roller coasters.
Groaning, Null complains, “Why are you soiling my fabric regenerator? Fuck, I thought humans came house trained.”
I groan back. “The what now? And yeah, we are. House trained, I mean.” Damn, I feel dizzy. “Sorry, I don’t deal well with motion sickness. I’ll clean your…what was it? Fabric something? Wait, is this an alien washing machine?”
“Yes,” Null grits out. “I’ll have to sanitize it now.”
“Huh, Go figure.” Breathing heavily, I slump to the floor next to the vomit-filled washing machine. How was I supposed to know? It looks like the slide-out trash can I had under my kitchen sink. “Perhaps my stomach acid is compatible with your cleaning tech and your undies will be all crispy white now.”
“It is not and I don’t wear white, nor do I wear whatever ‘undies’ means.”
I roll my eyes. “Jeez. It was a joke.”
“My species doesn’t practice humor.”
“Oh? You don’t say? But wait, you were sarcastic before. Sarcasm is a form of humor.”
Storming over, Null glares at me. I’m too exhausted to care. “My species doesn’t practice any kind of humor, including sarcasm. Will you be voiding your fluids further, or can I initiate the sanitation cycle?”
“Will we be making anymore insane maneuvers?” Damn, I’m not sure I’d survive more of that. I’m all banged up, my head is spinning and my stomach still cannot decide whether it wants to be an internal or external organ.
“We have jumped to hyperspace. There will be no more maneuvers until we reach Schloppe station and even then they should be mild compared to what we just did.”
“Sounds good, then. Sanitize away. Can I get some water, please?”
“No.” When I look at Null incredulously, he shrugs. “Providing you with food and water wasn’t part of our deal.”
Is this guy for real? “You’re supposed to keep me alive! I’ll die without water.”
“In eight hours? How unfortunate for your species.”
Eight hours? I can survive that long, though it will be uncomfortable. “I didn’t know it would only take us eight h— Wait. You were being sarcastic again!”
“I was not.”
“You’re so full of shit.”
He does that odd brow-cocking thing again. “That is scientifically impossible, not to mention how unpleasant it sounds.”
“Ugh.” This guy is nothing but confusing.
Chapter 33
Fin
Stillalittledazedfrom the crazy maneuvering we did earlier, I space out for a while. I’m startled back to the present when a bottle appears in front of my face. Frowning at it, then at my reluctant ally, I can’t help but say, “I thought our deal didn’t involve giving me water.”
“Do you want it or not?”
