Page 20 of Seeds of Friendship
Another cough. Wet. Painful sounding.
“Dad—”
“I'm fine, son. Just need to rest more.” The lie comes so easily. “House feels empty without you stomping around.”
The guilt settles in me with a thud. Because the truth is, I don't miss it.
Not the sound of his coughing at night. Not the stress-filled dinners where we all pretend Mom's not exhausted and Dad's not getting worse. Not the stack of bills on the kitchen table that nobody mentions. Not Megan trying to shrink herself, to need less, to not be another burden.
I love them.Fuck, I love them so much it hurts. But being here, being away from all that weight and dying and endless, crushing need—it feels like I can finally breathe.
The irony isn't lost on me. I can breathe because I'm away from the man who can't.
“Miss you guys too,” I lie, smooth as silk.
“Well, I'll let you get back to studying. Make us proud, son. You're going to fix everything for this family, I know it.”
A ball gets lodged in my throat, I’m surprised I can even speak.
“Yeah, Dad. I will.”
We hang up and I sit there, staring at nothing, feeling like the worst son in the world. What kind of asshole is relieved to be away from his struggling, sick father?
The front door slams open. Troy walks in, takes one look at me, and frowns.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks. Really needed that confidence boost.”
He drops his backpack, studying me with that annoying perceptiveness he has. “What’s up? Family stuff?”
I don't answer, which is answer enough.
“Want to talk about?—”
“Want to hit the gym?” I cut him off, sitting up. “I need to hit something or lift something heavy or just... not think for a while.”
Troy nods, already heading for his room. “Give me five to change.”
This is what I'm starting to appreciate about these guys. No pushing, no prying. Just understanding that sometimes you need to sweat out the shit you can't talk about.
Ethan stumbles in as we're heading out, slightly buzzed and grinning. “Gym? Fuck yeah, I'm in. Let me just...” He weaves toward his room.
“You're drunk,” Troy points out.
“I'm pleasantly tipsy. There's a difference.”
Even Alfie emerges from his cave, looking at us gearing up. “Where are you all going?”
“Gym,” I say. “Troy's gonna spot me while I work through some family bullshit.”
Alfie nods once. “I'll come.”
We all stare at him.
“What? I work out.”
“Since when?” Ethan asks.
