Page 5 of Reconnected Hearts
LUCY
You know you didn’t have to go alone Luce
You could’ve brought me
I love free vacations
I smile at the string of texts coming in from my friend, Nora. She’s been in my life since high school, but we didn’t become too close until after the fiasco with my ex and my former best friend, Amy. Nora’s been there for me in a big way. When it happened, she understood and knew the perfect things to say to comfort me. She’s slowly becoming one of the most important people in my life.
I type out my reply.
Thx babe
Next time ok?
As I wait for a response, I check my watch, as I’ve now been doing every 5 minutes all day to make sure time doesn’t slip away again. There’s about five minutes before the plane starts boarding. The gate is bustling and filled with all sorts of ruckus. People chattering, children screaming, phones ringing, chip bags popping open.
I sort of hoped that, given the late time of the flight, things would be a bit mellow, but that’s apparently notthe case. This is more chaotic than the daytime flight, even.
My phone buzzes and I’m expecting a reply from Nora but to my delight, it's a message from my cat sitter, Emily. I open it and find myself grinning from ear to ear. There, staring back at me, are the two most important creatures in my life: Leo and Sasha. Emily has sent me a picture of them curled up together on the couch, looking utterly content and adorable. The message reads, "Just wanted to let you know that the kitties are doing great! They miss you, but they're being well-behaved and enjoying lots of cuddles." A flood of warmth washes over me. Those two furry little beings mean the world to me, and knowing that they're safe, happy, and cared for while I'm away fills me with an immense sense of relief and joy. I found Emily through a friend of a friend, and she has been amazing whenever I’ve had to go away. I quickly type out a reply, thanking Emily profusely and asking her to give them extra treats and chin scratches from me.
My phone buzzes again as a new bout of messages start to come through in quick succession. Nora is trying her best to comfort me.
You’re gonna see a lot of happy couples at the wedding
Remember that statistically like 80% of them are unhappy and cheating on each other
So don’t feel bad that you’re alone
It’s probably for the best
I bite back a smile as I hastily type a reply.
I don’t think that math is quite right Nor
But thank you anyway
A static announcement rumbles over the loudspeakers like a fork in a garbage disposal, but I manage to catchFlight 282 to Providence now boarding Group A.
I quickly text Nora goodbye and gather my things, joining the growing queue behind the first-class passengers. Behind me, the line rapidly grows longer, almost starting to weave around the corner into the nearly empty restaurant on the other side of the waiting area.
I’ve always been a bit of an anxious flier, but the anxiety making me sick to my stomach feels much more severe than just minor flying nerves. It’s like every sign keeps telling me to give up and go home. I’d never hurt my dad like that, but I can just tell this is going to be a horrible weekend. I’ve been to my dad’s previous weddings. It’s always the same. He makes a bunch of promises to some poor lady that I know he won’t keep, we mingle, I tell the “happy couple” how perfect they are together, and then they get a divorce two years later. Only, this time, I’m going alone, and I justknowmy family has an arsenal of invasive questions ready.
Lucia, where is that handsome boyfriend of yours?
Lucia, when are you and Jace going to get married?
Lucia, have you thought about having children yet?
It is exhausting having toexplainand justify yourself to a huge family. A traitorous part of me longs for Jace's presence, craving the effortless charm he always brought to these gatherings. He had a gift for making everyone laugh, for easing the pressure on me with his quick wit and disarming smile. Even now, a year after our break-up, the thought of him sends a pang of sadness reverberating through my chest, the wounds of his betrayal still raw and aching.
I don't miss him, not really. But I do miss the companionship, the sense of belonging I felt when we were together. I miss the person I was before everything fell apart, before loneliness became my constant companion, an emptiness that gnaws at my heart.
The truth is, I don't have the strength to put on a brave face and deflect my family's prying questions with vague, evasive answers. I want to tell them the unvarnished reality: that my boyfriend of seven years, the man I thought I'd spend my life with, cheated on me with my lifelong best friend. That the betrayal shattered me in ways I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover from.
And, yet, here I am, part of the cattle being herded to live our perfect little lives. One person after the other, so similar, yet so irreconcilably different. It dispirits me sometimes just how dystopian everything seems to be lately. I suppose that’s part of getting older, though. The switch from girlhood to womanhood is the realization that the world isn’t as perfect as you thought it was. I’ve fought it and fought it, but the truth remains that life can be brutal, and guys are usually a part of that. At least in my case, they have been. I’ve made the all-too-easy decision that I’m going to remove half of the misery by cutting men out of my life completely. If I don’t let them in, they can’t hurt me. This is a tactic that Nor vehemently disagrees with, stating that there are two main joys in life, orgasms and food and depriving oneself of one of these is akin to a criminal act.
But I don’t listen, Ihaveto protect myself.
