Page 29 of Reconnected Hearts
Walk and turn. Walk and turn. Walk and turn.
I’ve made my mistakes. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve had my heart stomped on because I was innocent enough to believe that a man might actually give a shit about the consequences of his actions. They never do. I know that now.
It still doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.
I really didn’t want him to be the same. I didn’t want this to be,this. I wanted him to be different. I wanted him to scream in my face that I’m wrong, but he didn’t. He left, and somehow I still feel like I’m the one who messed up.
I won’t cry, I won’t cry, I won’t cry, I won’t?—
“Hello?” My mom picks up the phone after one ring and I’ve never been so glad to hear her voice.
“Hey, Mom.” My voice wavers.
“Oh, Lucy, what’s wrong, honey?”
“Mom, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be so miserable all the time. I can’t—I?—”
“Lucy, slow down. Tell me what happened.”
I explain everything, from reconnecting with Noah, to sleeping with him, to fighting with him, until he ran out. I tell her the things that I swore I would never say out loud.
“You did the right thing, Luce,” she assures me once I’ve finished. “You’re allowed to have fun with a man without it immediately meaning a relationship. If he got attached, that’s his problem, not yours. You have no reason to feel bad, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong.”
“I know that. I do. It’s just that...I don’t know. I know I’m supposed to make a decision and stand by it, but I’m worried that I made the wrong one.”
“Lucia,” she scolds gently. “If I taught you one thing, it’s that you trust your gut. If I’d trusted my gut with your father, I wouldn’t still be paying off a divorce lawyer. Believe me. He’s not worth your tears.”
“You’re right, Ma. I know. He’s just a guy. I don’t know why it’s got me so upset.”
“Because you have a good heart, Lucia,” my mom expresses. “It’s one of my favorite things about you, but you can’t let it control you. You didn’t hurt him. He hurt himself. Trust me, boys have fragile, little egos. It doesn’t take much to bruise them.”
My brain knows that my mother is right. There isn’t a single doubt that I shouldn’t feel bad for setting boundaries. But for some reason, my heart doesn’t seem to agree. My heart is dead-set on being consumed by Noah Laurier.
CHAPTER16
NOAH
The city is cold at night. The air bites at my exposed face, and I begin to regret storming out without a jacket...or a plan. The colder it gets, the more I crave the warmth of sitting next to Lucy.
No, I chastise myself.I’ve gotten us into enough trouble by thinking about her when I shouldn’t be.
I suppose maybe I should find a different hotel, or, at the very least, a different room. I don’t want to be around her any more than she wants to be around me. I think it would hurt too bad to see her. I can’t get her voice out of my mind. Her tearful eyes as she admitted to me why this is so hard. I think I finally get it, but somehow, I wish I didn’t.
Charlotte is beautiful after dark. That much I have to admit. It was probably beautiful during the day too, but I was too focused on Lucy to notice. The buildings reflect the moonlight. They remind me of Lucy’s eyes.
No, stop.
The grass rustles in the wind. The blades brush together, like the bouncing curls of Lucy’s hair.
NO.
She’s everywhere, in everything.
I can’t for the life of me fathomwhyI got so attached so quickly. This has never happened to me before, and I’m at a loss for how to fix it.
I think that’s the hardest part about this. There’s nothing to fix. I can’t fix something that hasn’t happened yet. My adversary is fear. I can’t beat fear.
The streets are bustling with late-night chatter, couples leaving bars and businessmen leaving office buildings. Loud music vibrates through the air, coming from any and every restaurant within a ten-mile radius.
