Page 47 of Heartbeats and Hashtags
My stomach growls.When was the last time I ate?
I decide to head down to the lobby. I remember Cole mentioning a vending machine down there as our last resort for food, and I’m hoping they have candy bars. I’m craving something sugary.
I know he wont be pleased about me leaving on my own right now, even if it is only to the lobby of hisextremelysecure gated building, but I amstarving. Besides, I am wearing a top-class disguise, some of Cole's baggy gym shorts, a t-shirt I found in the drawer, and a cap and sunglasses. Nobody would even know it was me under here.
I exit the elevator in the lobby when I spot two females at the front desk. A petite brunette woman who looks like she’s in her early forties stands with a young blonde girl, about eleven or twelve years old maybe. They are distracted talking to the receptionist and don't notice me.I find the vending machine,hell yeah.Scanning the options, I can’t help but eavesdrop.
“Mooom, I am starving,” the girl complains, and I smile at their easy relationship.
“Can you please just let us up to unit 417? I promise we're family,” the woman says to the receptionist. “I'm Clara Silver, and we're just here to surprise him.”
My heart drops into my stomach.Silver. There's no way. I look at the young girl again, and the world spins when I notice her eyes. They are the most incredible shade of green I have ever seen.Apart from one other person’s.
I shrink back around the corner, my vision blurring. I can't believe he's been hiding a whole family from me this entire time. I realize how naïve I’ve been. This must be why he was so hesitant to tell me anything about his family.
What else has he lied about? Were any of the intimate moments we shared real? God, does this make me a home-wrecker?The questions batter my already bruised heart.
I can't go back to my place, as there could be a manic stalker waiting for me. I can't go back upstairs a risk facing Cole right now. I have nowhere to go. It hits me that I feel unsafe for the first time since I punched a certain tall man in the face in my driveway.
I quickly text Tanya asking if she can send around one of her Dad’s on-call secure cars and if I can come to her apartment. She responds immediately asking for my pinned location and says to come right over. No questions asked.I love this woman.
I message her what has happened on the way so she is in the loop.
When Tanya opens the door, one look at my expression has her pulling me into a fierce hug. I pour out the story through shaky breaths.
“I'm so sorry, sweetie.” She rubs my back. “But are you sure you have all the facts? There could be more to the story.”
I just shake my head bitterly. “I'm such an idiot for thinking someone like him could actually want me.”
My insecurities resurface. Was I just a placeholder? Just a bit of fun before he returns to his real life and real family? My heart drops at the thought. Cole is no better than my father, who left us for a new family, and it’s happening all over again.Except I’m the other woman.
Daisy arrives later that night, and we all sit around together. We agree to put our phones away after Tanya had texted Cole to let him know I am safe. As mad as I am at him, I don’t like the idea of him sitting there worrying. I knew Cole won’t be worried. He’ll know there is no way Tanya Park would live somewhere unsafe. Mr. Park makes damn sure of that. Tanya has called up Benny to replace Cole as my personal security for the now since we’re still on high alert after the whole mutilated EvBear situation.
Despite it all, I feel protected with my girls around me. Tanya goes to phone Eddie. Both Daisy and I raise our eyebrows when she said that they are still seeing each other, surprised that the love affair has lasted this long. Tanya must really like this guy.
Daisy fiddles with the fringes on a throw pillow, not quite meeting my eyes. “Can I tell you something, Everly?”
“Of course, you know you can tell me anything,” I reply, surprised by her uncharacteristic nervousness.
Daisy takes a deep breath. “It's just, and please don't take this the wrong way, but lately I've felt like you've been...distant. Like your mind is always somewhere else.”
I open my mouth to protest, but Daisy rushes on, “And I know you've been dealing with a crazy stalker situation, so I totally get the need for space. But even before that, it feels like you have disappeared into this online world of social media, and even though I’m online too I feel like I can't always follow. I'm so proud of you for everything you've built, but at the same time…”
She hesitates. Her words strike a chord of truth within me, though my instinct is to get defensive. Sensing this, Daisy touches my hand gently. “You don't have to explain. I guess I just wonder sometimes if all of the constant posting, the pressures of “‘influencing,’” she says with air quotes, “is really making you happy?”
She is the second person close to me to ask this.
Her soft brown eyes are full of care and concern. I take a shaky breath, feeling tears prick unexpectedly. “I don't know,” I admit quietly. “I’ve been wondering lately if sharing every moment online is healthy. But it's my career now, you know? It's who I am. I don't know who or what I am without it.” My voice cracks.
Daisy nods, squeezing my hand. “You're Everly,” she speaks with more confidence in me than I have ever felt. “I get it. I really do. Just remember your worth isn't measured in followers or likes. The people who truly care about you will be there no matter what.”
Her unconditional support breaks the floodgates, and suddenly I'm crying into her shoulder. “You're such a good friend.”
I'm not cryingjustbecause of what we've been talking about; I'm crying because of everything that's happened between Cole and I and the way that the stalker was creeping closer and closer.It is too much, all of it.
I grab a tissue and dab at my eyes as the tears finally slow.
“I never expected things to blow up like this when I started posting my fitness journey years ago,” I confess to Daisy. “I loved connecting with people who related to the struggle of trying to get fitter, you know? But then it kept growing, the followers, the opportunities, and suddenly I was this 'influencer.'“ I make air quotes around the label I've never fully identified with.
