Page 59 of All That Glitters
Back at the trailer, Tony was doing his best to sound professional as he answered Lauren’s questions, unaware of the chaos unfolding behind him.
“I think they’re about halfway through the shooting schedule,” he explained to Lauren, trying to convey confidence despite having absolutely no idea how film production actually worked. “So unless there’s any more... accidents, it should wrap in a week.”
Lauren leaned in, her journalistic instincts tingling at the mention of ‘accidents.’ Like any good entertainment reporter, she could smell a story about on-set disasters the way a shark detects blood in water. “Do you anticipate any more... accidents?”
Just then, the entire Rif Raf gang tore past them at a full sprint, led by a ketchup-stained Todd. The group’s expressions ranged from terror to inappropriate amusement as they fled for their lives.
Close behind them came Carrie, a vision of pure, unadulterated rage.
“C’mon, darlin’, it was an accident!” Todd yelled over his shoulder, his voice high with genuine fear.
“I’ll show you an accident!” she screamed back.
Tony, Lauren, and Justin just watched the chaotic chase disappear behind a mausoleum, the sounds of threats and pleas fading as the pursuit continued deeper into the cemetery.
Lauren slowly lowered her microphone. “Scratch that last question,” she said.
Chapter twenty-four
Road Trips and Headless Gnomes
Debbie’s bedroom looked like a clothing store had exploded. Every drawer was yanked open, every hanger stripped bare, and clothes lay scattered across the bed, floor, and even draped over the lampshade. In the center of this textile disaster zone, Debbie stood holding up two different tops, her face a mask of pure panic.
“The blue one makes me look like a librarian,” she said, tossing it onto the growing pile. “And the red one makes me look like I’m trying too hard.” She tossed that one aside too and dove back into her closet with renewed desperation.
Veronica sat cross-legged on the bed, calmly folding the discarded clothes into neat piles. She’d already learned that the best way to help Debbie with anything was to simply follow behind her like a patient mother trailing a tornado.
“Deb, you’re going to see Tony, not audition for a fashion magazine,” Veronica said. “He’s seen you in pajamas with pizza sauce on your chin. I think you’re safe.”
“That’s exactly the problem!” Debbie emerged from the closet clutching a floral sundress. “He’s only seen me as his messy best friend. This weekend, I need him to see me as...” She gestured vaguely at herself. “You know. A woman.”
“You mean like someone with functioning ovaries? Because news flash, Deb — you’ve had those the whole time.”
Debbie shot her a look. “You know what I mean. As someone he could actually want to... you know...” She trailed off, her cheeks turning pink.
“Use your words,” Veronica said with a grin.
“Kiss!” Debbie blurted out, then immediately covered her face with the sundress. “Oh gawd, I can’t even say it without turning into a tomato. How am I supposed to actually tell him how I feel?”
Veronica’s expression softened. She got up and gently pulled the dress away from Debbie’s face. “Honey, this is Tony we’re talking about. The guy who once got his head stuck in a porch railing trying to retrieve a frisbee. He’s not exactly intimidating.”
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Debbie’s voice was small, vulnerable. “What if I tell him and it ruins everything? What if he laughs? What if—”
“What if he’s been waiting his whole life for you to say it?” Veronica interrupted gently.
Debbie stared at her, hope and terror warring in her eyes. “You really think...?”
“I think you’ll never know unless you try.” Veronica moved to her dresser and started rummaging through the bottom drawer. “And I think I have just the thing to help you out.”
She pulled out a small stack of cassette tapes, each one labeled in bold fonts: ‘CONFIDENCE IS SEXY!’ ‘FLIRTING FOR BEGINNERS,’ and ‘UNLEASH YOUR INNER GODDESS’.
Debbie picked up one of the tapes and read the cover: “‘How to be Irresistible in Seven Easy Steps.’” She looked at Veronica skeptically. “Where did you get these?”
“Late night TV shopping. Don’t judge me. I was going through a rough patch after Brad.” Veronica gathered up the tapes and pressed them into Debbie’s hands. “But seriously, they’re actually pretty good.”
“I don’t know...” Debbie turned over one of the tapes. “What if I try to be all sultry and sophisticated and just end up looking like I’m having some kind of medical emergency?”
“Then Tony will probably call 911, which means you’ll get to ride in an ambulance together. Very romantic.” Veronica grinned. “Come on, Deb. What’s the worst that could happen?”
