Page 122 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha
She lifted her head, and her gaze met mine.
“How can you think that you’re not worthy when you’re a descendant of the pack mothers, when you survived through a week of torture, when you bore an Alpha wound and lived, and when you defeated the fucker who’s tormented you your whole life? You are incredible and brave and strong, and if anyone isn’t worthy of you, it’s…”Me.That was what I almost said. But I wouldn’t take attention away from what she was saying about herself. I needed to comfort her. “Bryn, how can you think something so cruel and so wrong about yourself when you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life?”
She started to push away from me, shaking her head. “Because I know I’m not. And with this ugly Alpha wound and all the bruising and…and the shit that Troy put me through…it’d be wrong of me to think that you could ever want me…”
“Bryn.” I tugged her back into my arms, and after a moment’s hesitation, she let me. “Bryn, I wouldn’t deserve to be your mate if I thought any less of you for these wounds, these battle scars.” I brushed my hand over her cheek.
She looked away, glancing at the mirror on the wall across from the bed. She gently touched the wound with her fingertips, prodding the swollen skin with her fingertips.
“But I can hardly stand to look at myself. I can only imagine what you must think about me now. Just because we’ve mated doesn’t mean you want me.”
My heart twisted at hearing her say these things about herself. “Bryn.” I silenced her with a kiss. “No,” I said. “None of that. I willalwayswant you. No matter what, you will always be beautiful to me.”
She let me kiss her again, but she felt listless in my arms. There was still uncertainty in her eyes, and I knew that what I was saying wasn’t enough. She still believed that there was a greater reason for why I hadn’t claimed her, a reason that had to have something to do with her. I knew I needed to come clean about the things that had held me back. Damn my insecurities—I’d done this to her. It was my fault that she doubted me now.
“Mate,” I said, pulling her closer, “it wasn’t you that made me hesitate, it was myself. I was terrified that you would reject me when you found out that I was related to the Redwolfs. After everything Troy and Gregor and the Kings had done to you, I thought for sure that you would hate me for having any connection to them. I didn’t know how to tell you the truth, and I didn’t want to claim you before you had the option to say no.” It felt like I was ripping my heart out to admit this to her, but I pushed through it. Bryn needed to hear this. “I didn’t want to take away your option to refuse to be linked to them, through me, but I had no idea how much it would hurt you.”
“Oh, Night,” she pressed her hands to my chest, “you’renothinglike them.”
“If you knew what I was like before we met, you might not think that,” I said, bitterness giving a harsher edge to my tone than I intended. “All I cared about was taking back my birthright.”
“That’s not true. You wanted to make the lives of your pack better.”
“Sure, that was part of it, but when I thought about becoming Alpha of the Kings, the first thing that came to my mind was the glory of assuming what was rightfully mine.” I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I found Bryn frowning at me. Served me right, considering how selfish I’d been. “I’ve spent over ten years as Alpha trying to improve things for the Wargs, but in the back of my mind, I knew that I was chasing after the legacy my father denied me.”
“Night, no.” She shook her head, moving her hands up to my face. “You’re doing yourself such a disservice. I swear to you. You’re not like them.”
I shook my head. “I wish I could be so sure.”
“Hey.” She kissed the tip of my nose. It tickled. “I had no idea that the scary Alpha of the Wargs could feel insecure about anything.”
I chuckled despite myself. “I’m still a person, Bryn.”
“Of course, but in my eyes, you’ve always been this monolith, this tower of strength and capability. I’d never in my life met a man who cared so deeply about his people and his family even as he lifted them up almost singlehandedly.”
My face warmed. “Flattery would usually get you everywhere, but I’m supposed to be comforting you, right? The things Redwolf put you through...”
I could have kicked myself for bringing up what she’d suffered during a lighthearted moment. But other than the lowering ofher eyes and the slight frown on her lips, the reminder didn’t seem to take her out of the moment.
“I think we’re supposed to be comforting each other, Night,” she said. “It’s so,sogood to see you again after all this time. It feels like it’s been years since I was with you like this, not days.”
“I know what you mean. I felt like I was losing my mind, Bryn. It was so hard to fight against the thought that I might not see you or Octavia again.”
She nodded. “When I heard you were fighting Troy, and when I saw you on the ground, I wasn’t able to stop myself from jumping in. I couldn’t watch you die.”
I tried not to wince at the memory. “It wasn’t my proudest moment, but it was a tough fight. In those seconds, when I saw Troy’s teeth flashing toward my throat, I knew I was going to die. I was going to tear my claws into his stomach, rip him apart from the inside out.”
She shuddered. “I’m so glad it didn’t come to that. Troy weakened us both by keeping us apart, but I know that doesn’t make it any easier for you. Winning meant so much to you.”
“Not nearly as much as getting you back.” I kissed the top of her head. “You can imagine how hard it was for me, watching on the sidelines while you fought that asshole.”
She nodded. “I can. I never want either of us to have to go through that again.”
“Well, depending on how this Alpha thing goes, I’ll have to fight again. You understand that, don’t you?”
She smiled. “I do, but you’ll have claimed me by then, so it’ll be much easier for you.”
At the mention of claiming, my heartbeat picked up, and my lust for her became impossible to ignore. And along with that desire came a much sweeter emotion, one I hadn’t thought I was capable of feeling.
