Page 147 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha
Guilt panged through my chest as my sentence trailed off. I’d spent so long thinking about how I was going to get Tavi to stand by my side, but none of that mattered if I’d messed this up before I even knocked on her door. How could I ask her to be my beta when I was so blind to what she wanted? I wasn’t there for her when she needed me because I was off doing my own thing, and I didn’t even consider that she might have wanted me to visit her.
“Tavi,” I said, “I should have done a better job at reaching out to you. I hate that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t value you. I feel terrible about this.”
She was quiet for a few seconds, and then she said quietly, “Well…it’s not like I did a great job saying what I wanted.” She started to tug at and tear up the grass between us. “I guess Ishouldn’t have expected you to know that I wanted to see you or that I missed you. You couldn’t have known.”
The guilt began to ease from my chest. That response made me feel better about asking her to be my beta.
“We can both be sorry about our miscommunication,” I said, “or we can promise to do a better job of it in the future.” Communication was going to be key to what I wanted to ask her. “How about I stop by more often and you can let me know if it’s a good time for you?”
“I’d like that,” she nodded. “But I…I could make more of an effort to see you, too.”
“I don’t want you to push yourself too much, Tavi. Was the reason you didn’t want to walk through the compound because you didn’t want to see Tyrell or the other men?”
“That was…one of the reasons. I’m okay with walking around with other people, but I hate doing it by myself.”
“I don’t blame you—I feel that way, too. What was the other reason?”
She went quiet, and this time, I got the sense that she really didn’t want to talk about her reasoning any further. I wouldn’t push her about it.
“Well, whatever your reasons, I’m glad you’re willing to spend time with me a bit more,” I said. “That makes me really, really happy.”
“I’m glad you still want to spend time with me, too.” It almost sounded like there was a smile in her voice, but I didn’t look to confirm. “So, um, what did you want to talk about?” she asked.
“I…wanted to let you know before I announce it later tonight,” I said. “I want you to be my beta.”
She gasped and sat up. She looked down at me, grass still clinging to her hair. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” I grinned. It was obvious how badly she wanted it. “You’re my best friend, Tavi, so of course you’re the only person I could even consider for the job.”
“But—” Her face fell, and she looked away. “I can’t do it.”
I sat up on my elbows. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not…” she trembled as she searched for the right word, “goodanymore. I can’t do any of the things a beta does?—”
“That’s not true!” Interrupting her wasn’t part of the plan, but Tavi was saying things about herself that I couldn’t let slide. “What does a beta do? They watch over and counsel the Alpha, they protect the Alpha and the pack, and they can step in if ever the Alpha isn’t capable of serving. They have to be someone the Alpha can trust implicitly. We just talked about how much I appreciated you when we talked to Tyrell.”
She looked away, so I went on.
“Tavi, remember that you soughtmeout when I was staying at Violet’s cabin. You protected me and watched over me when I was getting to know the other Wargs. You always made time for me, even though we hadn’t known each other very long. When we were captured by Troy, you were the strong one, you?—”
“Stop!” Her voice became a sharp growl as her teeth sharpened to wolf points. “I saidI can’t do it!”
I flinched despite myself.
As the echo of her words launched birds into flight, she put her hands to her face, her shoulders shaking.
I reached for her, but the moment my hand touched her shoulder, she flinched away. “Tavi?—”
“See, Bryn?” she said. “I can’t even have a conversation like a normal person. How the fuck could I protect you from anything when you had to step in when I pissed off that asshole at Tyrell’s cabin?” She shook her head. “How could I give you any advice when I snap at you like that?” Tears poured down her reddened cheeks, and her eyes glowed as she looked at me beseechingly. “I’m no good anymore.”
“Tavi, you are!”
But she shook her head and got to her feet. “Frankie would be a better choice. She’s strong and capable. Or, hell, even your mother would be a good option. Who would stop you?”
I hopped to my feet as Tavi turned her back to me. My instincts were telling me that at any moment, she would bolt for the trees. There was no telling whether she would head back to the Kings’ compound or to the Wargs’ compound or if she would just go into the forest and I would never see her again. I couldn’t let that happen.
When her muscles tensed to run, I jumped on her back, wrapping my legs and arms around her and holding fast. She stumbled under my weight, but she was stronger and larger than me so she quickly regained her balance.
