Page 86 of Making Home with You
He’s been leaving earlier than usual and I wonder if he’s attempting to salvage his already doomed marriage or if his wife has finally left him and he’s got the house to himself.
Regardless of what it is, hopefully he’s about to watch his career go down too.Honestly, that’s what I want.I want to expose this asshole for who he really is.I want the entire Boston area that has put him on this pedestal, all the people in this office who think he’s a mentor and genius and true leader to know what he’s really been doing.
My hatred for him runs deeper than I realize as I ride the elevator to the lobby to meet Joe.
My hands are shaking and I can feel myself wanting to let go of everything I’ve kept hidden, everything that I have failed to tell people, even the people closest to me.
I’ve watched the sexual harassment videos, sat through the training, but what those videos don’t prepare you for is the myriad of emotions you’ll feel.
I’m consumed with fear of retaliation, of guilt and of stupidity.I’m worried about being called a liar, being told I brought it on myself by being attractive or thin or blonde or young; the list is endless.
But as much as I fear what’s to come, I can’t let it continue.
The elevator doors shoot open to a nearly empty lobby and Joe is waiting in front and steps in without saying anything.
Joe’s really just here for moral support and to see if there’s a possibility of pinning something illegal on Andrew.He wants to dig a little deeper, question some hopefully willing participants in the office.
“Have you had a chance to process everything we talked about yesterday?”he asks, this time he’s not in uniform but in a dark blue suit and a white shirt.He looks tired, like he’s been up for far too long and I’m certain he has.
“Yeah, and I’m ready to take it to our HR department.”
“Not just that,” he says, his voice pushing me toward what he hopes I’ve realized.“Sarah, I’m keeping this from Ryan and he’d kill me if he knew…”
“I know,” I say interrupting him because it’s not just Ryan it’s being kept from.It’s also Finn and he’s more my concern, because as much I don’t want to say it, I’ve been lying to him.This could ruin our relationship.
“I think you should quit your job,” Joe says suddenly, and I’m taken aback by his comment.
“No!”I shout, my voice coming out unusually loud and echoing through the metal walls of the elevator.“I’m not going to let him ruin me.”
“Sarah, he’s far more dangerous than I originally thought.If he’s paid off one woman, there are others and like hell if I’m going to let you be another one.”
“I hear you, I do, Joe, but let me see how this plays out with HR.Maybe they’ll finally hear me, maybe I’ll be the reason it ends.”
“I get you wanting to be the face of all of this and that you want to make your workplace a safe environment for everyone, but I don’t think going alone against this guy is the right call.”
I don’t respond because the elevator doors open and Joe and I make our way to the HR offices.
It only takes about ten minutes for the HR rep to take my statement and for Joe to ask her a few questions.She’s tight-lipped and lets nothing go to indicate past issues.He asked all the right questions, trying to get something, anything that would allow him to start an investigation, but it fails to materialize.
“This guy is good,” Joe says on an exhale as we head back to my office.“He’s got everyone in this company covering for him.”
I knew this was how it would play out, but I’m relieved that it’s over even if nothing ever comes of it.
“Yep, and that’s exactly what I thought would happen, but who cares because now it’s out there.People know I’m not with them, but against them.”
“You’ve put yourself in an ugly position, Sarah and again, I’m going to say it, you should quit.”
I shake my head at him as I gather up my things.I’m not quitting.
“Quitting doesn’t mean giving up.It means you can still pursue this, but at least you’ll be away from all of it.”
I understand what he’s saying, but in order to see this through till the end, I need to be here, I need to be here for when it goes beyond harassment and I know it’s coming.
“I don’t want to be away from it.I want to be in it and I want you here with me because we both know Andrew is going to fuck up.He’s going to take it further.”
“If your brother knew what you were doing he’d kill me for allowing it.”
“Then don’t tell him,” I say, smiling at Joe, but his face is a mess, his eyes wide and his lips set in a firm line.He hates every minute of this.
