Page 47 of Making Home with You
“Of course you can use it!”Kelsey states excitedly, her eyes lighting up at the thought of the inn being part of my interview process.“Is there a possibility you could move into a job like this at the place you’re currently working?”
“I hope so,” I say shrugging my shoulders as I think about Andrew and begin to wonder if moving up means allowing his harassment to go further.
“How’s the job going?”she asks, almost like she can sense it’s going nowhere.
I pause, trying to find the right words, but I just can’t and everything I’ve been keeping inside flies out of me.
“Honestly, my job is a nightmare,” I lament, the feeling of tears welling up in my eyes and tightening my throat.And without letting her ask why, I unload my secret.“The commute is terrible, but that isn’t it.My boss is a fucking slimy douchebag.Calling him handsy doesn’t even begin to describe it.He’s the epitome of sexual harassment and I’ve been told if I want to move up in the company that I’m just supposed to indulge him.”
“Sarah, you can’t keep working there.Actually, yes you can, but you need to report him.Has he hurt you?”she asks, concern blanketing her face.“Have you told anyone?”
“I haven’t said anything to anyone, but it’s a well known thing in the office and it seems like everyone just lets it happen.I have no idea who I would report it to.I imagine that our HR department has heard it all before.And clearly they give no fucks.”
Kelsey continues to question me and I admit that while he hasn’t actually done anything physical to me, he definitely crosses a personal space line and he makes me feel really uncomfortable.I tell her I have told him to back off.
I’m not the kind of girl who will just sit back and let someone treat me like shit, but he is my boss and I need this job.I need health insurance and a steady paycheck, but what I don’t need is to be harassed on a daily basis.I need to be more vocal, need to set firmer boundaries with him.
“Have you told Finn?”
I shake my head, knowing Finn is going through his own shit right now.
“You need to,” she presses.“He’s going to be pissed if something happens and you’ve kept it from him.”
“He’s going through his own shit right now,” I defend, like I’m trying to make excuses for why I haven’t said anything to him.It’s not like he hasn’t asked about my job.He literally asks about it every single day and I’m always vague.
“Sarah, he’d want to know, especially since he’s going through something right now.He knows what it’s like to struggle, to feel like you have no one to talk to.Please, tell him.”
I nod and change the subject, “What do you know about Carla?”I ask, since Finn hasn’t shared much, and knowing Kelsey is up on the town gossip.
“We have mutual friends and we do some cross promotion with our businesses.She owns a local restaurant.”Kelsey shrugs her shoulders, but still continues.“I know her and Finn slept together back in high school, but I don’t think it ever amounted to anything.”
I can tell she’s being reserved.I understand not wanting to say too much since it is Finn’s life and not hers, but the part of me that is concerned about Finn needs to know more.
“Why do you think she’s going after Finn now, after all this time?”
“You really want to know what I think?”
“I do because Finn isn’t sharing anything with me.He’s being all breezy about it.”
“That’s just kinda how Finn is.He’s private.I’ve told you that before and it’s not just with you.He’s like that with everyone.”She waits a few breaths before continuing and I can feel myself grow nervous.My palms are sweaty and my hands shake a little.And as much as I keep telling myself it isn’t because of me, I know it is.
“Honestly, Sarah, it’s because of you.Because he’s dating you.Your relationship is threatening to the women in this town; the ones who thought they’d someday end up with Finn.”
As much as I knew that was the reason, it’s still like a punch to the gut when Kelsey says it.Thinking it is one thing, but saying it out loud is another.
“Don’t take it personally,” Kelsey says, because clearly my poker face sucks.“Those women aren’t right for him and they never would be.To them it’s a game, a conquest about who can land Finn O’Loughlin.They don’t care about him and they know nothing about him.He’s elusive and that makes him the hunted.”
It’s hard for me to respond because I am questioning everything and I do worry that I’m not enough.But I also know I’m different from these women and I can be what Finn needs.
“But you, Sarah, you are right for him.Even if he hasn’t said it, I can tell he loves you.The way he looks at you, the way he behaves when you’re around.It’s different than anything I’ve ever seen.Finn isn’t one to show his emotions and with you, they radiate from him.”
“Thank you,” I respond, not sure what the correct response is.“Do you think this thing with Carla will continue?”
“I have no idea, but I’ll ask around, find out what people are saying and what Carla is up to.”
I thank Kelsey again and we say our goodbyes with her thanking me in return for all my efforts in regards to her business.She also asks again if she can share my information with a few people and this time I agree.I can always turn someone down if I feel like I won’t have the time.But knowing it could possibly help my career, declining straightaway seems like a bad idea.
As I’m walking out the door Kelsey calls, “Talk to Finn tonight.Maybe you sharing what is happening at work will help him open up to you about Carla.”
