Page 62 of Captured By the Scaled Outlaw
There is a noticeable way the lines across his forehead smooth and his eyes sparkle as he says gently, “I understand better than anyone the mistakes made when you’re young. It’s why I want you to join and why I think you should stay.”
“I have to go back… but…”
“But what?”
I cover my face with my hands. Tears hangin my eyes, but I do not allow a morsel of moisture to leave my body.
“Goddess, Lowell….” I press my palms into my eyes. “I don’t know why I think that everything will go back to normal when I return home. I know it won’t feel the same at all, and I’m terrified.” When I lift my head, I’m greeted by a sympathetic face. One that I wasn’t expecting. My throat is tight, words coming out as cracks and squeaks. “If I don’t keep pressing forward, then what was it all for, Lowell? Where do I even go from here?”
Lowell raises his shoulders, a wry smile on his lips. “I’ve been asking myself that same question since the day I met you. What do you do when the final person on your kill list is a beautifully rude, callous, stubborn-yet-intelligent woman?” he grimaces, laughing mirthlessly. “If I’m honest, I don’t know what I’ll do when I return, either. My goal for ten years has been to kill everyone involved with the Misya Swamp project… but now I guess I’ll never achieve that. But I don’t even want to anymore.”
“Doesn’t that make you upset?” I ask. He’s not one to mask his discontent.
Apathetically, he lolls his head back. “Not really. It would be a pretty sad life if I ignored everything attainable to cling to one silly desire. There are many more desires to be fulfilled, and I intend to do so.”
His words spill into the forming cracks of my resolve, my past replaying before my eyes, but now with a critical lens overlaid.
“I wish you the best, Lowell, truly. Although we will remain on opposite sides, I want you to succeed. You’ve given me a lot to think on — and ‘desires,’” I snicker, “‘to be fulfilled’ or whatever.”
Lowell rolls his eyes at me, his next words easily predictable. “You have plenty ofdesires, I’m sure.”
I groan. “You’re an idiot.”
He smiles a toothy grin, tapping his foot on the ground to draw my attention. “I know you’ve already given your answer, but you’d begreat with all that diplomatic shit. The other city’s governments would absolutely eat up an ex-Nilsan employee’s bids for collaboration.”
“I’m a scientist, not a politician nor diplomat,” I correct.
“You could be. You convinced me not to eat you, after all.” He rebuts, a touch of sarcasm on his tongue.
“Because you’re gullible,” I grumble. I’m unable to hide my slight grin.
Lowell scoffs, but his voice carries a soft amusement, a fondness. “For you, of course. But go ahead and keep clinging to your wavering beliefs. If you stay stuck too long, you’ll only end up more miserable than you already are. Consider my offer, even if only to humor me.”
Considering it would be a mistake. I’m already uneasy; I don’t need any external voices trying to rattle me. Once I make up my mind, I’m set. It’s how I’ve always been.
“Just shut up and get some rest. It’ll be night soon,” I grunt in response. I flop down next to him with my back turned. “You’ll agitate your fever if you keep running your mouth like that.”
“It’s almost like you care about me,” he teases with a cackle.
I roll my eyes, not that he can see it. If he’s going to beg me incessantly to join his group, I refuse to engage with him any further. Why would I want to stay in the facility I’ve been held captive in for almost a month by the same bunch of criminals who terrorize my city? All the while, I’d be working under the command of an overemotional, irrational leader.
Even more so, why would he think that I at all have feelings for him that are beyond sexual?
The thought of saying any of those words to Lowell nearly makes me weep. Seeing that bastard upset usually gives me divine satisfaction, but being the cause of it makes my chest feel heavy. The uncontrollable desire to throw my arms around him nearly takes control of me.
Goddess be damned. What is hedoingto me?
I scoff quietly to myself. He talks a big game, but I know he has no more control over his feelings than I do.
“Want to cuddle?” Lowell asks, stroking my arm with his claw. His breath tickles the nape of my neck.
“Don’t touch me,” I snap.
Lowell laughs, undeterred. “Okay, sweetheart. My arms are always open for when you inevitably give in.”
I hate the smile that pulls at my lips.
Fuck him.
