Page 49 of Captured By the Scaled Outlaw
His eyebrows raise questioningly.
“By forcing me into hard labor, I mean. Were you trying to get me to snap or something? To ease your doubts about me?” I ask. It’s always been my suspicion that he wanted to break me down, to relish in my suffering as a reward.
Lowell flashes me a guilty look, shaking his head. “No, it was one of Ginny’s ideas. While I was occupied with investigating the traitor, she suggested putting you to work in the meantime. However, her idea was never realized, and I left you in the cell,” he admits. “This is, until I stole it as an excuse when killing you didn’t seem like the right move.”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” I say quietly.
He points a claw in my direction, his voice growling. “Don’t misunderstand me. You are not absolved of your actions. My moment of weakness doesn’t amend what you’ve done, whether you were aware of your involvement or not,” Lowell barks before leveling his tone. “But for what it’s worth, I’m glad I didn’t kill you. We’ve managed to do some good, here.”
Brows draw together, a lump catching in my throat. “Lowell, I’m so sorry. I would have intervened had I any idea what was happening with the project. But I was fresh out of college, stupid, and didn’t know how to stand up for myself—” I stop myself, out of breath from rambling.
A loud pause fills the space between us, and my eyes are drawn to the floor. I can’t bring myself to look at his expression. I know he’s looking at me with hateful pity.
“I shouldn’t be making excuses,” I mumble. “I understand what it’s like to have no one left. The last thing I’d ever want is to hurt anyone innocent, and you should know that about me by now.” My lungs feel heavy, my shoulders slouching. “I’m sorry I aided the events that cost you your family. I’ll carry that weight for as long as I live.”
Through the reflection of the metallic sandcycle frame, Lowell flashes me a few of his teeth in a delicate smile. “I don’t forgive you. I never will.”
Returning his smile with a slight grin, I find the courage to hold his intense gaze. His eyes quickly draw me in, an invisible thread beckoning me toward the crimson flames and amber light. Although we may never get along with worldviews that are much too different, we share a passion profound enough to bind us beyond all rational emotions. As I watch his gaze flick from my lips down to my feet, I notice his pupils are the size of dinner plates and his chest beats irregularly.
Amid my doubts about Lowell, I can always be completely certain that — as he stares at me with a carnivorous, undressing intention— my feelings are reciprocated.
I snap myself out of my thoughts quick enough to realize Lowell’s mouth is moving. The passion of his stare does not diminish.
“Your plan was dumb, you know,” he says, flicking the tips of his claws against his thumb.
I clear my throat, righting the direction of thoughts my mind was wandering towards. “You only realized just now?” I tease with a shaky voice, testing the waters of his mood.
Lowell snorts, the muscles in his broad shoulders relaxing to a slouch. “At first I wanted to see how far you’d take it, but then as you kept talking, it seemed less and less stupid.”
I stifle a smirk, admiring the patch of slim waist exposed by Lowell’s new position. “I thought the opposite was true.”
“You underestimate my desperation,” he says with a snicker. “But you wouldn’t have suggested it if you didn’t think it wouldsomewhatwork. You knew the consequences of failure.” He playfully snips his maw at me, his teeth colliding against one another with a sharpclick.
I inadvertently roll my tongue over my bottom lip. My throat tightens.
Get a grip, May.
“Maybe I just wanted to ride a sandcycle,” I say plainly, but the smile in my voice overrides my attempt at indifference.
Belting out a single laugh, Lowell’s pupils pool in his iris. “Wanted to feel like an outlaw, huh? You were dying for a reason to be a little naughty, weren’t you? I knew it — you’re just the type to want to be secretly bad.”
I purse my lips bashfully, reaching for the piece of metal I was supposed to have been fixing this entire time. “If I’m being honest, learning that the Sandpits made it past marker five was the best I’ve felt in a very long time,” I admit, coating the metal in liquid again.
“Oh, I know,” he says, and I’m surprised he doesn’t try to rub it in further.
A pang of shame fills my heart. My objections to Lowell’s observations of me slowly soften. While I sit in this flimsy tent during a deadly sandstorm after undoing ecological damage with an eco-terrorist after havingassistedsaid eco-terrorist, I feel strangely calm. For a moment,I wonder if I’ve been walking the wrong path.
I look down at my hands as the second coat of liquid dries, picking at the skin to calm my frayed nerves. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and my mouth feels dry.
“Were you going to eat me that day at dinner? Or were you only trying to scare me?” I ask bluntly. “I know you said repeatedly that you were going to kill me and all that, but that moment didn’t feel… planned.”
Initially startled by my sudden question, Lowell rocks his head back and forth between his shoulders while he mulls it over. “Honestly, I don’t know. I was worked up about your solutions failing and got carried away. My anger towards you at the time was still all over the place, and who knows if I would have come to in time for anything to be left of you? Thankfully, I was… distracted by something else.”
My cheeks redden at the memory. “What did you invite me to dinner for, anyway? You said it was because you were trying to bolster my confidence, but I don’t buy that now, and I didn’t then,” I say.
Lowell smiles lecherously, his face dusting a deep crimson. He acts as though he’s been caught red-handed. As if his lies have ever been convincing.
“Why do you think I invited you?” he asks.
