Page 29 of The Doctor's Promise
But she hadn’t. She needed Rafa at that moment, more than ever and when she had told him that morning that she loved him, she had meant it with all her heart.
Noemi dragged a chair over to the gurney and sat down, holding Jack’s cold hand in hers. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but she started when a hand was placed on her shoulder. “Hey, Noemi.”
She looked up. Donald, the kind-faced pathologist was smiling down at her. “I’m so sorry, Noe, but it’s time. We have to take him down now.”
“Can I come with him?”
Donald looked uncomfortable. “No, sweetheart, you know that’s not permitted.”
“I promised his mom I wouldn’t let him be alone.”
“I’ll stay with him.” They both looked around to see Ally, her face blotchy from crying. She had known and loved Jack too. “I’ll go in with him, Noe.”
Noemi nodded, and they took Jack down to the autopsy room. She went back upstairs. She knew Lazlo wouldn’t allow her to work today, but she felt like she would go mad if she didn’t find anything to do. She checked in on Leo, still sleeping, and called her parents. They were still in shock.
“Sweetie, just look after Leo for us, would you? You know she doesn’t blame you; it was just the emotion.”
Noemi reassured her parents that she and Leo were fine. She went down to find some coffee, and as she sipped it, she saw Finn. He looked devastated, and she went to him. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Finn shook his head. “You can say that, but it won’t make any difference in how I feel.”
Noemi hugged him. “I know how that feels, Finn, I really do.”
The weightof the grief was overwhelming, and Noemi felt as if she were swimming in treacle with it. As she waited for the results of the autopsy, she went to see Lazlo. He didn’t seem surprised when she asked for some time off.
“Of course, Noe, that’s not a problem. But keep in touch, won’t you? I’ll worry.”
The results of the autopsy showed that Finn had done everything he could, but it was just damn bad luck that Jack stroked out. Leo took the news calmly. “So, there was really nothing anyone could have done.”
“Nothing.”
Leo tried to smile. “It doesn’t make me feel better.”
“What could? Come on, boo, let’s go to Mom and Dad’s. They’ll want to know.”
Leo rubbed her eyes. “I have to arrange the funeral home.”
Noemi bit her lip. “I’ve done it for you. I hope that was okay… it can be changed if you want. I just wanted to take that off your plate, to save you the details, but if I’ve overstepped—”
Leo shook her head. “No. Thank you, Noe.”
“We’ll go meet them in the morning. They’re going to take Jack soon. We’ll wait until he leaves then we’ll go home, yes?”
Their parents welcomedthem with hugs but no words. There was nothing else to be said, after all. Noemi waited until her family went to bed before going outside into the cold night air. She sat on the front porch swing and called Rafa. “Hey, baby.”
“Hey, beautiful, how are you?”
“Sad. Listen… I didn’t mean to freak you out this morning.”
Rafa gave a low chuckle. “You didn’t. For what it’s worth, I feel the same way, but I don’t want to say the words over the phone.”
A small curl of warmth settled in her frozen body. “God, how did you get through this intact, Rafa? It’s unbearable.”
“I know, baby, and the answer is… I have no idea. One foot in front of the other, one breath after the last. The pain never leaves you—I won’t lie to you. But it… dims. Becomes such a part of the fabric of your soul that you learn to live with it.”
Noemi closed her eyes. “It’s like acid at the moment.”
“I know, babe. But it gets, if not better, then it gets… livable. Ugh, that sounds wrong, but it does.”
