Page 59 of Dirty Little Secret
Chapter 20
Kane
Knowing that Fox was with Zandra did little to stop the anger and frustration that had built up inside of me over his little stunt.
Her apartment was a little over a mile away from our house. Busy streets with speeding cars weren’t the only thing I worried about. Fox was just a little kid, no matter what he thought. He’d had no business walking over there, and he damn well knew that.
I had no idea exactly how I would address this behavior, but I sure as hell was going to try my damnedest to get my son back to the good kid he’d been before his mother came along.
Aunt Nancy and Uncle James came over once I told them Fox was safe with his mother. Aunt Nancy made chamomile tea to help calm us all down. She handed me a warm cup. “Here, sip on this and let’s all just take some time to decompress. That boy sure did give us a scare, but at least we know he’s safe now.”
My hand shook as I took the cup she held out to me. “Well, for now he is. Once I get a hold of him, I’m not so sure about his safety.”
Uncle James stood behind my chair, and he clapped his hand on my shoulder. “Now, Kane, don’t be so hasty. Let’s think about the right way to handle this. The boy wanted to see his mother very badly. Frankly, I don’t understand why you haven’t let him. She’s all he’s been talking about, and he told us how he talks to her each night before bedtime. And he was looking forward to spending Sunday with her all week long. Were you not going to let him do that? Is that why he ran away?”
He’d hit the nail on the head. “Well, I didn’t say no. He just brought it up this morning and I told him to let me think about it. But he got all impatient and ran off on his own.” I put the cup down on the coffee table in front of me. “I still can’t believe he did that. I never would’ve expected something like this from him. Not my son.”
Aunt Nancy laughed. “Oh, Kane, he’ll do many things you’ll never see coming. It’s what kids do.” She sat down on the loveseat across the table from me. “Now, let’s talk logically here. What’s stopping you from letting Fox see his mother? What is it that you’ve been spending so much time thinking about?”
“She works in a bar,” I stated. “You guys know that already. But what I haven’t told you guys is what kind of bar it is, and how she acts while she’s there.”
Uncle James took a seat next to Aunt Nancy. “I’m sure it’s pretty crazy. Well, crazy to you, Kane. You grew up quickly. That’s not your scene anymore. Maybe you’re judging her a little harshly.”
Taking a second to think about it, I had to admit, “Yeah, maybe I am. Maybe I’m expecting her to hurry up and grow up the way I did.”
“But she didn’t have the responsibility you had, dear,” Aunt Nancy reminded me. “She had no reason at all to grow up. You can’t very well expect her to do that overnight, especially if you won’t let the two of them spend time together. How will she ever know what goes along with having a child if you never give her the opportunity to experience what it takes to look after one?”
She was right. I could admit that I’d been wrong. “But what if she does something to hurt him? I don’t want him to be scarred, emotionally speaking, because I allowed her into his life too soon. What then?” I picked up the tea to take another sip. It did seem to be helping with my nerves.
“Don’t you think we worried about the very same thing when we started letting Fox stay with you when you were just eighteen?” Aunt Nancy asked. “He was a baby back then. He couldn’t tell you what he wanted or needed. But we took that chance. We let you keep him all by yourself sometimes, so you could bond with him and learn how to become the boy’s father.”
Uncle James added, “When we decided to give him to you, do you think we didn’t have fears that we were putting too much on you? All the responsibility that came along with Fox rested squarely on your shoulders for the first time then. But you did it.”
“But I came from a good home. And I had you guys and Mom and Dad to show me the way. Zandra had horrible parents. Even before they made her give Fox up, living with them had made her into a shy girl who hardly knew how to make friends. They turned her into someone who didn’t have the wherewithal to get away from them when she was pregnant to let anyone know what they were doing to her and the baby she carried.” I thought about how terrible that must’ve been for her. My heart ached with the thought. “I don’t want her to instill that same thing into my son.”
“He’s hers too, Kane,” my aunt reminded me.
“I know. I’m having a hard time adjusting my thoughts about that, though,” I admitted. “For so long he’s been mine and mine alone. I’m having a hard time adjusting to him having a mother.”
“That’s understandable,” Uncle James said. “But you have to adjust, for Fox’s sake, if not Zandra’s.”
I knew I would have to speed up my adjustment process. “So, the punishment. What should I do about that?”
Aunt Nancy came up with an idea, “How about you make him do the yardwork for a week?”
“Or you could take away his game system for a week,” Uncle James said.
“Or both,” I decided. “A little physical work along with the denial of his favorite thing sounds good. I just want my good kid back. I don’t want to worry about him flying off the handle and doing things that might get him hurt, or worse.”
“And you need to come up with a visitation plan for him and his mother, Kane,” Aunt Nancy said. “Something he can count on. And you can’t deny their visits as a form of punishment either.”
“But—” I didn’t know what else to say.
Aunt Nancy shook her head. “But nothing, Kane. It was your indecisiveness that caused Fox to run away. You have to make a decision and stick to it.”
“I don’t really want her alone with him at her apartment. She lives with another cocktail waitress with highly questionable morals.” I thought about it some more. “And Zandra doesn’t know any of my rules either.”
Uncle James gave me a stern look. “Only because you haven’t brought her around or spoken to her about how you want your son to be raised. Do yourself a favor—invite the girl over the way your son has asked you to a thousand times this last week. Then she can learn the ropes, and I’m sure she’ll want to keep doing what’s best for Fox.”
