Page 44 of Dirty Little Secret
Chapter 15
Zandra
Lying on my bed, I stared out the window at the rising full moon. Trying to be smart and responsible for once, I’d only had two of the mimosas Taylor made. I figured it was time for me to start acting more like a mother. And the only mother I had to pattern myself after was my own. She never drank at all. And she didn’t cuss. She also didn’t have any empathy, a trait of hers I was going to be sure to steer clear of.
My cell rang, pulling me out of my numb moongazing to look at the phone on the bed beside me. An unknown number flashed on the screen. I noticed the time was ten minutes to nine.
“Oh, well. Let’s see who the mystery caller is.” I mused to myself before answering the call. “Hello?”
“Is this Zandra?” came a little boy’s voice.
I knew who it was right away. “Yes, it is. Is this Fox?”
“Yes, it is.” He sighed, and I could tell he was happy that I recognized his voice. “Mom, I just wanted to call you tonight, and every night at this time, if that’s okay, to tell you goodnight.”
The swelling in my heart actually made my chest ache. “Fox, that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever wanted to do for me.” And then I thought about my work week. “And on Sundays and Mondays, you can call me. The rest of the days, let me call you. Most days I’ll be at work at this time, but I’ll make sure to take a quick break to call you every night before nine.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said with what sounded like relief. “Can you save this number? It’s our home phone.”
“I sure will.” I cradled the phone in a way I’d never done before, like I was somehow reaching through it to hold him. “How did things go between you and your dad?”
“Bad,” he said then paused. “But then good.”
Relief flowed through me, hearing that they’d worked things out. It had been clear to me earlier that the two had a few differing opinions about how they wanted things to proceed. “Good. Fox, please don’t argue with your dad about anything to do with me. I would really hate to come between you two.”
“You won’t. And I’ll try not to. It’s just that I get real mad when it comes to you. Weird, huh?” he asked me.
My mind went to my parents, and the way they could get real mad too when it came to me. I guess I just had that effect on people. How charming.
“Well, you should work on controlling that, because being angry a lot isn’t any fun. Your father is a good man. He’ll do what’s right, I know he will.” At least I hoped he would.
“Yeah, I think your right.” There was silence on the other end for a long moment before he switched gears, shocking me with his questions when it came. “Do you have anything that you’ve done that I should know about?”
I had no idea what kind of things he was talking about. “Like what?”
“Like wrecking a car, or like, killing people …”
I stopped him right there. “No. I can see where you’re headed, Fox. Your dad must’ve said something about my driving, didn’t he? So here it is. I’ve had two tickets in my life, both for speeding. I tended to have a heavy foot back then. But I’ve got that under control now. I know I spun my tires a little when I pulled out of the parking lot, so your dad might be thinking I’m a reckless driver, but I’m not. That car has a V-8 engine, so sometimes I spinout on occasion without meaning to.”
“Okay, good.” I could hear tapping and thought it sounded like a pencil tapping on paper. Maybe he’d written a list of things to ask me. The idea made me smile.
My son wanted to get to know me, and I thought that was the sweetest thing in the world. “To let you know more about me, I’ve never been arrested. I’ve never been in a fist fight. I’ve never kicked a dog.” I laughed. “Overall, I’m a pretty good person. But I’ve got to admit one thing to you, Fox.”
He sounded a little worried. “What?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone in my life that I truly cared about. I don’t know how good I’m going to be at being a mom.” My chest deflated as the truth set in. I had no clue how to be a good mother. And I hoped to God I wouldn’t become anything like my own mother.
“But you’re gonna try, right?” he asked, sounding shy for once.
I had never dared to even dream that my son would come back into my life. But now that he was in it, I didn’t want to let him go ever again. “I’m going to try very hard, Fox. I’m going to try harder than I’ve tried at anything else in my life.”
“Good. You can do it, Mom. I know you can.” His faith in me was also an unfamiliar thing in my life. No one had ever had any faith in me, least of all my parents.
“It’s nine now. You better get to sleep.” I heard the sound of a door opening.
Then Kane’s voice traveled through from the background. “It’s nine, sport. Time to get off the phone and into bed.”
“’K. I just called Mom to tell her goodnight,” Fox told him.
