Page 31 of Dirty Desires
Artimus came through the door that connected his and Julia’s offices. “I can hear the shouting all the way in my office. What the hell has happened now, Nina?”
“Ashton told me that I’m the reason he’s been hiding in his office. I’m the reason he’s been avoiding everyone and everything. And I’m pretty upset—and I’m also done with that man!” I downed the rest of my wine. “Can I leave early and have the rest of the day off? I don’t think I can focus on holding those cue cards without throwing them up in the air and yelling at Ashton, since I know he’ll be watching from his office.”
Julia nodded. “Of course you can.”
Artimus looked pissed. “That’s it! I’m not going to let my friend throw his life away any longer.” He stormed out of the office and back into his.
Julia watched her husband leave. “I wonder what he’s got up his sleeve.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said as I got up to leave. “I’m done. I really am. This is it for me. No matter what Artimus does to get that man to come around, it won’t be enough. If it’s so easy for him to treat me this way, then I’m done wasting my time waiting around for him.”
“You can’t stop trying now, Nina,” Julie tried. “I believe this is just Ashton’s last-ditch effort to keep things the way they are—to keep his fiancée alive in his mind. This is the biggest change we’ve seen in him in two years—clearly something is happening with him that he hadn’t allowed before. He needs help with this. And you seem to be the only one he’ll talk to.”
“You know what? It’s not my responsibility to fix all of him problems. I’ve tried to help him with that, and where did it get me? If this is the way he responds to someone giving a shit about him, then he can kiss my ass, as far as I’m concerned.” I grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door opened. “I’ll be at home. I don’t know what I’ll be doing, but I’ll be doing something, I can tell you that much. I will not sit around, hoping that one day Ashton Lange will get his house in order. Because that day will never come.”
Lila and Julia came to the door, both enveloping me in a comforting hug. Julia patted me on the back. “Nina, let things calm down. You’re mad right now. And you’ve got every right to be. But don’t do anything that you’ll regret.”
Lila looked at me with a smile as she winked. “That means don’t go finding another man to get under, just so you can get over Ashton.”
“I hadn’t even thought of that.” The idea didn’t seem half bad to me. “And just why shouldn’t I do that, Lila? It sounds like a great idea.”
Her arm went around my shoulders as we all three walked toward the elevator. “Because right now you’re mad and hurt. When your judgement is clouded by that, it’s never a good time to get under anyone.”
Maybe she was right, but maybe she wasn’t. All I knew was that I’d wasted the last two years of my life pining after a man who would never accept a future with me, and it was time for a change. No more waiting around for anyone.
Getting onto the elevator, I waved goodbye to my friends as the doors closed. “See you on Monday.”
“Have a good weekend,” Lila said.
“Be good,” Julia threw in just before the doors closed.
The ride down to my floor had me thinking about what they’d said. Why should I be good?
I had been good for years, and where had that gotten me?
Nowhere, that’s where.
I went to my office to get my purse and shut down my computer. As I stopped at my door, I looked down the hallway at Ashton’s closed one.
He had never closed his door before. There were always people stopping by his office, and he always had a smile for them. Now he wasn’t talking to anyone.
As I thought about that, I waited to feel my heart aching for him. But it didn’t ache at all. I was that pissed at him.
So, I headed into my office. It seemed I was officially done with Ashton Lange. He’d stepped over a line that I hadn’t even known was there. Apparently, having someone turn away from me after I’d given them nothing but compassion and friendship—a bit more than friendship, even—was enough to give me an extreme change of heart.
I wanted him to know how mad I was at him. So, I sat down and wrote him an email that let him know exactly how done I was with him, and why.
Ashton,
I know you’ve suffered. I was there for you. I never pushed you to do anything you didn’t want to. I was your friend.
I’m not sure how things got to be the way they are, but I’m done trying to figure things out.
Here it is in black and white for you: I’m done.
You don’t have to hide in your office anymore. I won’t be trying to speak with you. I don’t even care to be your friend anymore, much less anything more than that.
I’d had this idea that you and I could be something special. I felt it all weekend long too. I had never felt closer to anyone than I felt with you.
