Page 16 of Dirty Desires
Chapter Seven
Nina
The sound of a grandfather clock chiming the hour later that night had the girls and me settling into a game of Scrabble as the guys played their beloved poker. They’d taught us how to play the night before, but it was apparent our constant questions were getting in the way of their fun. We thought we’d give them some free time and entertain ourselves for a while.
Lila laid down the word ‘zebra.’ “And that gives me 16 points,” she said.
I laughed as I used her ‘z’ to make a new word, worth even more points. “’Zephyr.’ And that’s 23 points for me. Ha!”
Julia looked at her tiles, pulling her lips to one side as she tried to beat us. “Okay, let me see here. I’m going to use the ‘y’ in zephyr to make the word ‘why.’ And that will give me twelve points.”
I had to give her kudos. “Not bad for only using three letters, Julia.”
“I thought so too.” She patted herself on the back. “So, how’re things progressing between you and Ashton?”
With a sigh, I wondered the same thing myself. “I don’t know. He did say something that led me to believe that he would like things to go in a more romantic direction. But then I just went completely blank on him.”
Lila plopped down some tiles under the ‘p’ in zephyr. “‘Phrase.’ And that’ll give me 11 points.” Her eyes turned to mine. “You went blank on him? What does that mean?”
“It means that he told me he liked the way it felt, us holding each other.” I decided I needed to clarify that. “I was helping him up the stairs. He had his arm around my shoulders, and I had mine around his waist, to support him.”
Julia frowned at me. “And you went blank on him?”
“Yeah.” I shook my head as I looked at the floor. “I just didn’t know what to say.”
Lila laughed. “That’s easy, Nina. You say, ‘I like this too.’ And then you guys kiss, and it’s all smooth sailing from there.” She threw her arms up in the air. “Why do you two make this so hard? It’s as easy as pie, really.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I told her. “It’s not easy. You see, he told me about his fiancée. He told me how she’d been the only woman he’d ever loved. And I think he still loves her.”
Julia, who was always much more spiritual than either of us, chimed in, “I’m sure he does still love her. But she’s incapable of being there for him now. You are very capable, and you need to show him that.”
I put two tiles down, using the existing ‘w’ to make the word, ‘wow.’ “Nine points for ‘wow.’” Then I looked at Julia with a stoic expression. “Julia, what if I told you that I don’t like competing for a man?”
Nodding, she said, “I would say that’s fine. But who is it that you think you’re competing with?”
“His dead fiancée, Natalia Reddy.”
Julia and Lila both gasped, then Julia asked, “Did he tell you her name?”
“Of course. How else would I know it?” I couldn’t understand why they were looking at me with such surprised expressions.
Lila was the first to let me in on things. “Nina, he’s never told anyone her name. Not even Duke and Artimus, and they’re his best friends.”
Julia nodded. “He’s trusting you more than he even trusts them. That’s huge, Nina.”
Considering what they said, I did think it was pretty huge that he would talk to me about the woman he’d loved and lost. “Do you guys think he told me more about her so that I would know just how much he isn’t over her yet?”
“What makes you think that he’s not over her?” Julia asked.
With a shrug, I said, “I just have this feeling deep inside of me that he’s not. And I also think that he’s afraid of losing someone like that again. So much so that he would rather be alone than take the risk of getting hurt the way he did.”
Lila and Julia exchanged sad looks. Then they both looked at me. Julia was the one to ask, “Are you thinking about giving up on him, Nina?”
Shaking my head, I said, “How could I? Just a few hours ago, he told me he liked the way it felt to hold me. That’s progress, people.”
They laughed and nodded in agreement. “Progress it is,” Lila said.
Julia chimed in, “Especially when you think about how long you guys have known each other.”
