Page 167 of Under Her Skin
Fantastic, I get to tell my terrible story again and re-live thatshit!
After many gasps and sighs, Lexi says, “Well, hibbetty, bibetty, Shell. That’s a bunch of terrible things, isn’t it? I tell you what that’s a heap more than Max ever put me through. Oh my, poor Blake. He must be nearsuicidal.”
“Lex,”I groan. “I’m really getting worried about him. Do you think Max can try to call him? He wouldn’t answer Kip’scall.”
She yells for Max and he listens to the tale as only Lexi can add all kinds of silly words to it and make me nearly laugh if I wasn’t so damn worried. Then he mumbles something and the next thing I know Lexi is telling me he wants to talk tome.
“Rachelle, what the hell are you thinking?” he shouts atme.
I cringe as I’ve never been yelled at by Max and he’s super intimidating suddenly. “Max, I’mjust…”
“No, I don’t want to hear it. No more excuses. A great man asks you to marry him and you act like he did something awful to you. This is enough out of you. I’m not going to get him to talk to you just so you can tear another chunk out of his kind and generous heart. Do you understandme?”
“Max, I didn’tmean…”
His voice is boomingas he says, “You didn’t mean to hurt him. Yeah, I know your same old song and dance. Well this time you’re going to have to figure things out on your own. You really don’t want me to call him because my advice to him is going to be to forget about you. You are no good forhim.”
“Max, that’s not true. I am good for him. I just got confused and afraid that I don’t deserve him, but the truth is I can be good for him. We are great together and it’s just my insecurities that get in the way. I can control them if I try hard enough, I know I can.” I plop down of the sofa and look at theceiling.
“If he’s smart,he won’t accept another apology from you. Do yourself a favor, Rachelle. Get off the couch and go into your little kitchen and take out a wineglass.”
“I really don’t think a drink right now is what I want,” I say but get up and do what Max is telling me to for some damnreason.
“I don’t want you to talk, just do what I say,” he commandsme.
I take a wine glass out of the cabinet. “I have one, nowwhat?”
“Drop it on thefloor.”
“Max,that’s...”
“Drop the fucking glass, Rachelle!” heshouts.
I drop the glass and it breaks into pieces. “Okay, I did it. Nowwhat?”
“Do you see how it’s shattered in a way that you can’t put it back together?” heasks.
I look at the pieces. Some are big and could be glued, but other parts are smashed into sharp shards while others are pulverized and couldn’t ever be fixed. “Yes, I see it’s destroyed. And now I guess you want me to clean up the mess,right?”
“No, I want you to tell it you’re sorry,” he says with a much calmer tone to his deepvoice.
“I’m sorry?” I ask with ahuff.
“Just sayit.”
“I’m sorry, wine glass, for breakingyou.”
He sighs. “So whathappened?”
“What do you mean? It’s got to be cleaned up now.” I shake my head at his ridiculous idea and what the hell it was meant to teachme.
“It’s still broken isn’t it Shell? Saying you’re sorry didn’t fix it, didit?”
His lesson zooms into my brain and I get a knot in my throat. Telling Blake, I’m sorry isn’t going to fix what I’ve done. Too many times I’ve dropped him and this last time was just one toomany.
I swallow hard and try not to let the tears that are threatening to fall sound in my voice. “Max, is it toolate?”
“What do you think,Shell? How many more times do you think he can take you doing this to him? All I have to say is that you’re on your own. You’ll have to dig deep down and think about what it is you can do to make things up to him and make sure you don’t do this to him anymore. If you can’t find that in you then leave the guy alone. He’s too good a man to be broken by you.” Max takes a deep breath. “And I want you to know this doesn’t mean I don’t care about and love you, Shelly. I do, but you have to stop this thing you’re doing tohim.”
