Page 49 of Dirty Little Virgin
Using our hands to feel along the wall, we make it to the bedroom and go inside. Pierce finds the flashlight and when he shines it at me, his face falls.
I turn back to see Steinbeck and his girl standing stark naked in the doorway as the man says, “I think this is nature’s way of telling us all that she wants us to enjoy each other. It’ll make the storm virtually disappear.”
Pierce moves quickly to get in front of me. “No one is touching her. She’s mine.”
“Come on, Langford. She’s a nothing more than a toy. Let me have one fuck. That’s all. And I’m trading you for it. You get to fuck mine. And believe me, she’s a great fuck. I hear this one was a virgin. I know she isn’t anymore, but she’ll be as close as I’ll probably ever get. It’s just sex. We’ve shared lots of pussy at the club, Langford. What’s the big fuckin’ deal, man? In the matter of a week, what you got going here will be over anyway.”
Then I find my leverage and place my hand on Pierce’s back, silently letting him know that it doesn’t have to be over. Pierce turns to face me. “You’ve said more than a few times that you might be tempted to ask for another Dom to help you write scenes and maybe even act them out. This is what most of the men in my club are like. So do you still think that’s something you’ll be doing if I won’t help you? Because if that’s the case, you may as well let this guy fuck you now, Jade.”
My evil jealousy plan has seemed to backfire. But then, maybe it hasn’t. “Maybe I should. You want to end things completely with me once the contract is up. I’ll need someone to help me from time to time and with your refusal to do that, then what choice do I have?”
He eyes me, trying to see if I’d actually go that far. “Have at him, Jade.”
My jaw drops as the naked, giant man steps forward and his little slut does too. “You want to fuck this slut, don’t you?” I yell at Pierce.
“No, I’m not about to touch her. So what are you going to do, Jade?” Pierce gives me a stern look.
“You know damn well what I’m going to do. You win! I was just baiting you with all that talk. I don’t ever want anyone but you,” I cry out. “I’m trying everything in my arsenal to get you to see what we have is real. It shouldn’t be thrown away!”
“Whether it is or not,” Pierce says, “You have to know, I don’t want to think of any other man owning you the way I do now. I want you to go on and fall in love. Well, I don’t really want that, but I don’t want you to give yourself to any other Dom.”
“Damn, man,” the big guys says. “You love this chick.”
Pierce glares at him. “So what if I do?”
“Then what the fuck are you doing?” Steinbeck asks. “Do you really think that ending things is smart?”
“Mostly, I think you and your girl need to take this fucking flashlight, get your damned clothes back on, and get the fuck on your way. I can hear the storm has ended and you can get going. Consider the flashlight a gift.” He tosses it to the man who catches it.
After that, we see nothing but the flashlight leaving our room and heading down the hallway. I sit on the bed, unsure of anything except the fact that I love this man and don’t want this to end in a matter of a few more days. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Pierce.”
He sits down next to me and we hear the front door open and close. Then he gets up and looks out the window. The flashlight bobs around as they leave. “Thank God they’re gone.” He comes back and pulls the wet shirt off over my head, then pushes me back and rids me of my soaked shorts.
“Is that really how most of the men at your club are?” I ask him as I move up on the bed and climb underneath the warm blanket.
He holds up one finger and leaves the bedroom. I hear him lock the front door, then he comes back with a bottle of water in his hand and closes our bedroom door behind him. He hands it to me, then gets undressed. “You see, Jade, most of the people who go to that club aren’t looking for love, baby. They’re out to get other experiences. What happened with us is because you didn’t know what to expect or how to guard yourself. You caught me off guard, even though I knew how you were and what I was up against. I thought I had what it takes to be a teacher and nothing more than that. I was wrong. And I’m sorry about that.”
He climbs under the blanket, pulling me to him and letting me rest my head on his big bicep. “How can you be sorry about falling in love?”
“Because I’ve told you and told you. This isn’t me. When I get back to work, I’ll be submerged in it almost completely. I work more hours than I sleep. I eat on the go, or order in at the office. I even have suits in a closet in my office. There’s a bathroom attached with a shower and the sofa folds out into a bed. I stay there some nights when I only have an hour or two between ending for the day and having a meeting later.”
“Damn! You are committed,” I say, as I’m very impressed. “Don’t you think you could do things a little differently, though? I mean, I’m not talking about getting married. I’m just talking about not ending things completely. I have to return to school anyway.”
His lips press against the side of my head. “Jade, I wish it was that easy. Maybe it’s me who has the problem. I don’t know. You see, I can only do one thing really well at a time. Right now, it’s you. When I have to go back to work, it’ll be that. I’ve tried before, and I can’t do it well if I try to have a relationship and do what I do.”
“You told me you tried with that last girl, the one who lied about being pregnant,” I argue.
“I still worked over twelve hours every day. I wasn’t in love with her and she wasn’t in love with me. She wanted my money. That’s why she wanted to get married. I never gave her a third of what I’ve given you. I’ve given you all of me. And with work, it’d hurt you when you lost most of me.”
“I see,” I tell him as I close my eyes. “I won’t bother you about it anymore. I won’t try to make you jealous. I’ll just stop. We can enjoy what we have left then.”
“Good. I’m sorry I’m this way. I really am. It’s beyond my control though. If we have nothing else to do with each other, you’re free to move on, fall in love, and have a great relationship without me knowing and being devastated by it.”
“Okay,” I say as I try hard to fall asleep.
I don’t want to think any longer. I’m not so happy he’s found a way to get over me or forget about me or whatever. And I’m not so glad he’s found a way that me moving on one day won’t devastate him.
Now what am I supposed to do not to be devastated?
