Page 60 of Nightclub Surprise
As I lay there, thinking about everything, I wondered if I’d been wrong,too.
I could’ve let her stay in my bed, or tried to find some other solution before kicking her out right away. I hadn’t budged a bit on that. Was I to blame,too?
Fuck, you’re anasshole!
My brain turned on me. I’d been looking at Tawny for an entire month, blaming her, wanting her to see the role she’d played in creating this rift between us that grew a little more with each passingday.
My cell dinged, and I looked over at it as it lay on the nightstand next to me. There was a message, and I saw it was fromTawny.
You should find another date for Swank’s opening night,itsaid.
That wasit.
Putting the phone down, I turned over on my side. Had I really fucked things up so badly that she wasn’t going to go with me to the opening night of the club I’d work so hard tobuild?
The truth was that I hadn’t thought about that atall.
The truth was that nothing had gone the way I had thought itwould.
Everything I’d hoped that conversation would accomplish had backfired on me. My intentions were to get a conversation going that would eventually lead us to a place where we could get back to what we had. But it had only served to break uscompletely.
I had no idea how to fix things. The only thing that did come to mind was that Tawny didn’t mind seeing me with another woman. And that pissed meoff.
Would she really go so far as to try to send me into another woman’s arms? Because to me, that meant she didn’t give a shit about me. And that pissed me off to noend.
That girl had loved me; I knew that without a doubt. It was her own stubbornness that had gotten in the way of that. But if she was serious about me taking another woman to the grand opening, then something had to have changed in her heart when she’d deliberately frozenit.
Picking up my cell, I typed in aresponse.
Won’t be taking anyone. I hitsend.
I hoped that would sink into her tenacious head, and soon she’d realize how much it would hurt her to see me with someone else. Hell, it would hurt me to take out another woman—it would have to hurt her,right?
Tossing and turning, I couldn’t get comfortable. She had me irate, and all I could think about was what the hell had gotten into her head to say a thing like that tome?
She’d told me she loved me just the night before. Sure, it wasn’t like she said she was in love with me, just that she’d always have love for me. I supposed that was because I was the father of herchild.
I’d said it back, but I knew I didn’t say it the way I meant it. I was a dumb ass then,too.
Shit, when had I turned into such a dumbass?
Slowly, but surely, it became clear that I was just as much to blame for this shit as she was. Both so stubborn we’d cut our noses off to spite ourfaces.
But how to fix it…now that was the realquestion.
How do you fix something that’s sobroken?
I had to admit to myself that I didn’t know the answer to that question. I could go to her and apologize, take my share of the blame, but that wouldn’t change anything anyway. I still wasn’t ready to let her stay the nights with me, sleeping withme.
Man, she was so damnstubborn!
Why couldn’t she see that I was afraid of hurting her? Why couldn’t she be okay with thatshit?
Sleep wasn’t coming, so I sat up, picked my laptop up off the nightstand and did a little research. It seemed that most people with violent sleep disorders ended up taking medication to ease the problem—which I’d beenagainst.
My mind went back to Dr. Schmidt, asking me whether I’d take medication if I had high blood pressure. And I knew Iwould.
So, why not take something to help me save myrelationship?
