Page 38 of Masked Indulgence
He was absolutely right. I had already been working on the nightclub for months. John did know me well. I always had a project in mind before finishing the one I was on at the time. My mind just worked thatway.
Even when I’d been a kid playing sports, I’d be near the end of football season, and already I’d be messing around, playing basketball and getting ready for thatseason.
I was the kind of person who always looked for the nextthing.
Would I do that to Katana? Would I do that to my ownkid?
“I can see your wheels turning, Nixon. I hope you’re not mad at me. But having a kid is a big deal.” He stopped as I waved my hand at him to get him to quittalking.
“I’m not mad. I know you think a lot about kids and what happens to them if their family life is sucky. And I know you don’t mean any harm.” I gulped down the rest of my wine as I tried to wrap my head aroundeverything.
“I don’t mean any harm to anyone. But you need to be realistic about the girl and that kid you’ve got coming.” He got up and tossed his beer bottle into the small trash bin at the top of the stairs. “You’re a great guy, Nixon. I don’t want you to think I think anything else. But you’re a driven man, and men like you make lousy husbands and fathers. People get left behind by men like you. Just don’t lead this girl into thinking you can be something you’re not. Let her do what she needs to with this baby.” And with that, he leftme.
Alone now, I sat there thinking about who I reallywas.
I knew I’d never turn my back on Katana or our child. She’d always have everything she’d ever need to take care of our kid.Always.
But was I putting Katana in a position where she’d be hurt and alone when I moved on to my nextproject?
When I looked up, the stars seemed to blur and spin. My life had just started to resemble the world I’d always dreamed of having. I’d never been home so much and been so happy to leave the office behind. But it wasn’t just about coming home to my Malibu beach house—it wasKatana.
I’d always been a bit more than merely content with my life. But I’d never been as happy as I’d been since Katana came into mylife.
Since the night we met, I’d had a thing for her that wouldn’t quit. So there was only one real question. Was thisreal?
Were my feelings real or just the typical excitement I always got when starting a newproject?
Katana didn’t feel like a project to me. I wasn’t trying to mold her or shape her into what I wanted her to be. That’s what I did with projects. I built things, changed things, rearranged things. I didn’t stop until I was completely satisfied with what I’ddone.
I didn’t look at her and think she’d look better with blonde hair. I didn’t think she should change the style of her clothes. I didn’t think she needed to have a differentjob.
I didn’t want to change a thing about the woman. Well, there was one thing I wanted to change about her. So I guess I was only lying tomyself.
Chapter24
Katana
Christmas Day
On Christmas morning, I woke up alone in bed. After stretching, yawning, and trying to wake my sleepy self up, I sat up and called out, “Nix?”
No one answered, and I got up to take a shower and get myself all prettied up for the day.Our firstChristmas!
I’d put the presents I’d bought him under the tree last night, and he’d put some for me under there too. And I thought it was pretty sweet that we’d each bought something for our baby too and put those underthere.
There was a bigger stack of presents under my very first tree than I’d ever had growing up. Everything was better withNix.
As I showered, I noticed there was some expensive new shampoo and conditioner in there, and Nix had drawn hearts on the bottles and written, “just for you,” onthem.
I lathered up my hair with the minty shampoo that had my head tingling, and I thought about what a treasure the man was. I’d take that man even if he didn’t have a dime. I’d live in a treehouse with the man. I didn’t care. I knew I’d been lucky he’d found me in that club thatnight.
After getting myself as pretty as I could, I pulled on the red dress I’d bought just for this day. It fit tight at the top and all the way to my still narrow waist—which I knew I’d lose soon enough. The dress flared out at the waist, making it look like I had a petticoat underneath it. The fabric came to just below my knees and when I added the flats—as Nix told me he never wanted to see me in heels while I was pregnant or he’d give me a real spanking—my legs looked long andslender.
I felt pretty, and I couldn’t wait to find Nix. I wasn’t going to let this day pass without telling him how I really felt abouthim.
When I walked out the bedroom door, I found something littering the floor. The white rose petals stood out, contrasting against the dark stone tiles. It looked as if he’d placed each one just the way he wantedit.
What’s thisabout?
