Page 9 of Masked Indulgence
Blyss’s voice pulled me out of my reverie before I could really start daydreaming about the man. “So you weren’t in the club when all the chaos ensuedthen?”
Oh, that!“No. No, he and I left very early, thank God. Someone from the club called him and told him about it. Seems we dodged a bulletthere.”
“That you did.” She seemed to be a lot calmer than before. “Okay, so this Dom, tell me all about him and what you guysdid.”
I leaned my shoulder against the window pane and sighed. “He was the best lover I’ve ever had. Not that I’ve had that many. Okay, I’ve had two, and it’s been over a year since I’ve had sex of anykind.”
“You haven’t even masturbated?” she interruptedme.
“That’s personal!” I laughed. “But no, not even that. Maybe it seemed so intense and hugely satisfying because of that, I don’t know. But it was electric, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Is it possible to have a sex hangover,Blyss?”
She laughed. “I’ve had more than one of those. But then when you have a man as intense as mine, you get a thorough fucking at least once a month, with major fucks mostdays.”
“So that’s what it would be like if I had a long-term thing with a Dom?” I asked as the idea did things to my insides that made mequiver.
“Does last night have you thinking about finding yourself a full-time Dom, Katana?” she asked with a hint of humor in hervoice.
“Well, not just any Dom would do. But my guy wasn’t into anything that lasts longer than one night. He doesn’t even live in this city.” I moved away from the window and went to sit backdown.
“So was he able to get all that pent-up stress out of you? I know you had one hell of a crazy schedule last week—you were going insane.” She laughed again. “I hope he got that off yourback.”
All the stress had melted away, and it had to be because of him. “Oh, yeah, he got rid of all that. Much better than the masseuse my friendrecommended.”
She giggled knowingly. “Ibet.”
Running my hand through my hair, I released the scent of the hotel shampoo and an image of Nixon flashed in my head. I had to think about something else. “So, how’s the hubby, Blyss? Is Troy doingokay?”
“He’s doing well. We’re about to take the kids out to window shop for Christmas presents,” she told me. “We do that every year so they can let us know all the things they want, and then we surprise them with a few of them on Christmas. It’s a fun tradition we’ve had for a fewyears.”
“Christmas already?” I had to ask. “It’s barely the day afterHalloween.”
“Yeah, I know. This is the traditional day that we do this thing. That way we have lots of time to make sure we get them what they really want. I always have my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving. Because the day after Thanksgiving we set up the Christmas tree and I have presents ready to go right away. We’re big on the holidays in thisfamily.”
“I’m glad you’ve found yourself a big family to live and love with. You deserve it all, Blyss,” I gushed. She’d been the best person I’d ever met while in the foster caresystem.
“Aw, thanks, Katana. You know you deserve happiness too.” She paused, and I could tell her wheels were spinning. “I worry about you sometimes. You stay alone too much, holed up in your little apartment in Portland, making those book covers. I know you’re making good money and all, but it takes away from your social life. You really need to get out more. Make a habit of it. Stop working at five or six, get yourself dolled up and go out instead of working allnight.”
“I don’t know.” The thought of going out and maybe ending up in bed with another guy just hit me the wrong way all of a sudden. I knew I didn’t belong to Nixon, but there was something that told me I’d be disappointed if I went to bed with another man. Plus, I couldn’t think about anyone else at that moment, still overwhelmed by our amazing night together. “I’m not into clubbing. The only reason I registered with The Dungeon of Decorum is because of the safety net it provided me. No abuse is tolerated, and I had a number to call if thatoccurred.”
“Yeah, I know that bastard did a number on you back then. Do you know if he’s still in jail or not?” she asked with concern etching hervoice.
I didn’t know a thing about the man who’d left permanent scars on my body, brain, and heart. “I don’t know anything about him. It’s been four years since I left Flagstaff. As far as I know, he doesn’t have a clue where I moved. Lyle Strickland is a man I try hard not to think about.” I paused for a moment, reflecting on the relationship I’d had two years after I left Lyle, after I’d moved to Portland. “I know he’s the main reason it didn’t work out with Jimmy, too. I just never trusted him the entire six months we weretogether.”
“I know how hard it is to find that trust again. I’ve had my fair share of torture in the past. Not that I want to get into any of that. That’s all better off left alone. Well, I better get going. I can hear the kids putting up a fuss already. Love you,Katana.”
“I love you too, Blyss. I’ll call you again soon. Have fun. Bye.” I ended the call and leaned my head back, thinking about mypast.
When Lyle had come onto me just after I turned nineteen, I’d thought I had hit the jackpot. He was older, twenty-five, and so dominant. I suppose I liked that sort of thing because I’d never had anyone care that much about me. I took it as a sign that he really lovedme.
Turned out, he really loved controlling my every move, and then he really loved beating the shit out of me. My bruises and broken bones healed, but my heart and soul were left in roughshape.
Even if Nixon Slaughter were knocking down my door trying to date me, I wasn’t in any shape to be the woman for him. Still having my moments of being an emotional wreck at times proved I wasn’t ready to be anyone’sgirl.
Poor Jimmy had got the shit end of the stick when he got with me. As a couple of years had passed since the horror show with Lyle, I’d thought I was over everything. Jimmy was anything but dominating. Poor guy was a pushover. I suppose that’s why things ended so fast between us. I pushed him to lord over me, but that wasn’t for him. He couldn’t doit.
I knew I’d had a rough life. I knew I had mental issues with that. Was it so wrong of me to need a man who would take control and treat me like I washis?
It didn’t seem that modern women wanted what I wanted. Not most of them anyway. I wanted that firm hand. I wanted that rough touch. Craved it. And I thought I’d found that with Lyle. But what I found instead was that you couldn’t trust every dominantman.
