Page 21 of Masked Indulgence
Even as that thought went through my mind, I felt her snuggling into me, letting out a sigh as she did. My heart pumped a bit harder—it made me feel good to make her feel good. She felt safe, I could tell. I could keep her safe. I could keep her mind free from worry about most things. With my money, resources, and family, there was a lot I could make happen for her, and I could do that for the rest of herlife.
What I couldn’t do was tell her I loved her. I didn’t, and I wouldn’t lie to her about that. And I hoped she’d never lie to me about thateither.
Katana was no gold digger—at least she didn’t seem to be. But that was neither here nor there. She carried my child; I’d always make sure she had more than enough to take care of the child for the rest of her life. She’d kind of hit the lottery when my seed took hold inside ofher.
Another thought hit me, and this one knocked me back a bit. What if I fell in love with her, but she never fell in love with me? What if she met some man someday that she did fall in love with and wanted to marry? Where would that leaveme?
A deep sigh came out of me, realizing how rough things could get in the future. The future was uncertain. All I could do was my best. Suddenly I felt the tremendous weight of responsibility resting on myshoulders.
A father to a child, a co-parent with a woman who had no one else in the world, and the responsibility to make sure no one got lost or left out of our littlefamily.
I was going to have a family of myown!
It might not have happened in the way I’d imagined it happening someday, but I was about to have my own family. My father had taught us all that the man of the house had more responsibility to the family than anyone elsedid.
I kind of hoped that wasn’t true. I liked to think both parents carried that responsibility together. And for the most part, from what I had seen in other’s marriages, that proved to be true. But then, I’d had few up close and personal experiences withmarriages.
When my sister had had her first baby with her husband a couple of years after they married, I was there. Things were going fine. She and her husband were working together to keep her calm and breathing through the painful contractions. A realteam.
Everyone had come up to the hospital to welcome the first of our expanding family. Taking turns visiting the expecting couple, some of us had waited in the waiting room while others spent some time in the room with them. I happened to be in the room with them when the shit hit thefan.
Some alarm went off while she was having a contraction and suddenly two nurses were coming through the door in a rush. My sister held her husband’s hand, and both looked nervous. I had no idea what washappening.
“We have to get her to the OR right now,” one of the nursessaid.
“Wait, why?” my brother-in-law asked. “What’s goingon?”
The nurse, who was busily taking IV bags off the stand and placing them on the bed, answered him. “That alarm is letting us know the baby’s heart has stopped beating. We’ll have to do an emergency C-section.” She pressed the call button on the bed, and another nurse asked what she needed. “Get the OR ready and get the doctor and everyone else in there now,” she toldher.
My sister began to cry. “What’s going to happen?” she asked the room ingeneral.
The nurse nearest to her patted her on the arm. “You’ll be put under, and we’ll get the baby out and see what we can do about getting its heart going again.” She looked at my brother-in-law. “Daddy, can you help keep Mommy calm until we put her under? And you’ll need to throw on some scrubs—they’re in the room just before we get to the operating room. You’ll need to hurry. You’ll have decisions to make once the baby is delivered. Decisions your wife won’t be able to make, as she’ll beasleep.”
His face paled, and he nodded. But the color quickly rushed back to his face, and he looked at his wife with a strength he hadn’t had before. “I love you. I’ve got this. I’ve got you, and I’ve got our son. You have nothing to worry about. You can count on me.” He looked at me, frozen in my place with shock and worry. “Nixon, I need you to go out and inform the family about what’s happening. Tell them I will come out and let you all know how things are going as soon as we have everything undercontrol.”
“I love you, sis,” I managed to say, and then I hurried out of theroom.
In that moment, I’d seen the transfer of energy. I’d seen what a wife looked like when put into a situation where she was completely helpless, and I’d seen the weight of responsibility come to rest on the husband’sshoulders.
Later, after the baby was born, and after they’d discovered that the umbilical cord had prolapsed and been pinched by the baby’s head, causing the heart to stop beating, my brother-in-law had comeout.
“He’s fine. And so is she. It was scary, but I don’t want any of you to worry. I’ll take good care of my wife and son,” hesaid.
My mother went to hug him, and she started to cry. “You’re a great man. Our daughter is lucky to haveyou.”
We’d all nodded, and everyone had gained a lot of respect for the man our sister had married. And after witnessing similar scenes with the rest of my family, I knew the possible obstacles that could come my way with a baby and a woman to take care of. A heaping load ofresponsibility.
Daunting, yes, but completelydoable.
I kissed the top of Katana’s head, closing my eyes and trying to stop thinking about everything so I could fallasleep.
My future had been changed forever, and I could rest well knowing that I’d been brought up right and could handle all I’d just beengiven.
Chapter14
Katana
After finally gettinga good night’s sleep, I woke up feeling refreshed and better than I had in a very long time. I heard noise coming from the bathroom and knew Nixon had gotten up before me. When I sat up and stretched, I saw something hanging on the hook on the closet door, and saw a brand-new pair of black flats sitting at the bottom of a garmentbag.
