Page 64 of Secrets & Desires
“It’s not your fault, Liv. The medical examiner said she’d been dead forhours.”
“I should have gone to find her sooner. Days sooner. She always looked out for me, I should have done the same for her.” Livia smiled through her tears. ”One time, at college, she shouted at me for opening my dorm room door to her without checking who it was. It washerroom too, the doofus. Anyway, she made me promise to always check who was at the door, and if I didn’t know who it was, then I didn’t open the door.” Her face clouded over. “What kind of friend am I thatIwas—”
“Too busy fucking Nox in various European cities,” Amber suddenly said, her tone harsh. “Poor little Livvy, precious little Livvy, spreading her legs for the nearestbillionaire…”
It was Odelle, moving quickly, who slapped Amber hard across the face, making them all jump. Amber rocked back, then lunged for Odelle, who side-stepped her, leaving Amber to sprawl on the floor. Sandor picked Amber up as Nox stepped between the two women. Livia was too shockedtomove.
“Amber, go home and get cleaned up. And don’t ever, ever talk to Livia like that again.Ever.” Nox was furious. Amber spatathim.
“You think that little piece of trash can replace my sister? My sister who loved you? Was devotedtoyou?”
“Get out of here!” Livia jumped up to stop Nox from going after Amber, and Sandor stepped inbetweenthem.
“I’ll take herhome,Nox.”
Everyone was staring at them, some people even taking photographs. Nox put his arms around Livia. “It’s okay, love.She’sgone.”
“What thefuckwas that?” Livia said in an incredulous voice. Nox shook his head, holding hertightly.
“I don’tknow,baby.”
“It’s Amber’s birthday,” Odelle said quietly, and Noxgroaned.
“Oh god, I forgot. It’s Ariel’sbirthdaytoo.”
“I’ve never seen Amber so high on something though. She usually keeps it to pot.Thatwasn’tpot.”
“No.”
Livia said nothing. Amber’s attack had been so out of the blue. Livia could feel the foundations of her composure crumbling, but she leaned into Nox’s embrace. “Maybe you should go see her. I’m not trying to replaceAriel.”
“I know that. Amber knows that. I apologize on her behalf…she’s notherself.”
Livia looked up at him. “Go see her. Make amends. See if sheneedshelp.”
Nox smiled down at her, stroking her face. “This is why Iloveyou.”
Nox wentto meet Amber the next day, and it was a contrite Amber who sat with him. “I didn’t mean what I said,” she began, “please,please, tell Livvy I love her. I didn’t mean any of it. I was just…god, Nox, I miss Arielsomuch.”
Nox nodded. “I do too, Amber, you know that. But neither of us could have stopped whathappened.”
Amber was silent and Nox was surprised to see something else in her eyes. “What? What isit,Ambs?”
She shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t tell you, Nox. It’s too…it’s something I did. Something I have to live with, except…I don’t know how to live with itanymore.”
Nox was really worried now. “Amber…please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with the threatstoLiv?”
Amber gave a mirthless snort. “No, Nox. Not thethreats.”
“Thenwhat?”
She mumbled something and Nox couldn’t clearly make out the words. “What? Did you say ‘scareher?’”
Amber stared at him with endless sorrow in her eyes then suddenly got up. “I can’t…I can’t…I’msorry,Nox.”
It wasn’tuntil he was in bed with Livia later that it dawned on him what Amber had said. When he realized, it send a cold arrow right through his heart. He said the words over and over to himself, hoping beyond hope that they didn’t mean what he thoughttheydid.
“He was only supposed toscareher.”
