Page 54 of Secrets & Desires
“She actually said that?” Nox rocked back alittle,hurt.
Livia nodded, her face miserable. “She’s worried someone’s going to kill me because of ourrelationship.”
Nox sighed. “Well, I can’t blame her for thinking that. It’s something I wrestle with every day. Why should I force all this shitonyou?”
Livia shook her head. “Don’t go falling into the trap of thinking you have any responsibility for this. I just wish that we knew who and why this was happening. Nox…I think we should look into things ourselves. I just have this feeling, and I don’t know where it comes from, that there are things from Ariel’s murder and your family’s deaths that are right in front of us and yet we can’t see. Everyone said they couldn’t believe your dad would turn on his family…well, I believe that too. Even though I never met him, anyone who could bring a man like you into the world couldn’tbebad.”
Nox’s eyes were soft. “I love you forsayingthat.”
“But do you feelittoo?”
Slowly he began to nod. “I do. I always have, it’s just I’ve never had someone in my corner. I never had you. I think we were destined to meet, Livvy, not just because we fell in love, but because we were meant to heal each other. Dang,” he added with a grin, “that was cheesy. Maybe we are co-dependent.”
Livia laughed and kissed him. “Yep, let’s not get too intense here. All I’m saying is…let’s be proactive and look at everything—and everyone—who could be behind this. Because one thing isforsure…”
“What’sthat?”
Her smile faded, but she looked at him steadily. “It’s someoneweknow.”
And with a sinking heart, Nox nodded. “I know. I knowitis.”
ChapterTwenty-One
Two daysbefore they were due to fly out to wherever Nox was taking Livia for Christmas, Livia had to perform at her end-of-semester concert. She sat in the dressing room now, surrounded by her fellow students as they got ready. She felt sick to her stomach. Charvi had decided that Livia would finish the show with her new composition, and worse, every single one of her friends would be there to watch…exceptMoriko.
“I have to work, sweetie,” Moriko had apologized to her over the phone. “Both Marcel and I wanted to come but one of us has to be here. He won. I’msorry,boo.”
Livia had reassured her that it was okay, but she knew Moriko had probably volunteered to stay behind at the restaurant. Things hadn’t been the same since they had last seen eachother.
Livia took a deep breath in, listening to the music from the concert hall as it was piped back through the speakers into the dressing room. As each performer was called, the room got emptier until Liv was left alone. Because she was in college, she had asked Jason to stay outside, not wanting the extra attention of a bodyguard around her. She needed to breathe, to get herself into a space where she couldperform.
She went to splash her face in the small restroom. Looking in the vanity mirror, she saw how pale she was—she hadn’t slept well the night before. She rubbed her cheeks to get some color into them, hearing the dressing room door open. Expecting the stagehand coming to call her, she was surprised when there was silence. She walked back into thedressingroom.
A hand was clamped over her face, an arm hooked around her waist and she was thrown to the floor. Not having time to scream, Livia kicked out at her attacker.Not again, no way.But this time, he was so much stronger, pressing his forearm against her throat, choking off her airsupply.
In horror, Livia felt him push up her dress, tug at her panties.Oh god,pleaseno…
She kicked out again, her head whirling from lack of oxygen, but desperate to keep him away. He slammed his clenched fist into her stomach and she gasped, doubling up in pain. He ripped her panties from her and forced her legsapart.
“No, please, please, don’t…” Her voice was cracked, barely a whisper despite the fact that she was screaming inside her head. She felt him touch her, but to her great relief, he didn’t try to rape her. She felt him pulling and jerking at his penis and realized he was masturbating. He gave a grunt and she groaned in horror as she felt his semen cover her skin. The knife was in his hand then, pressing against her throat. “Tell anyone, and I’ll kill all of them. Nox, Amber, Sandor, and your pretty little Asian friend. I will be back for you, Livia, don’t forget it. The next time you see me…this,” he brandished the knife, “will be buried deep inside you, like it was inside of that whoreAriel.”
Then he was gone. The whole attack had taken less than three minutes. Livia lay for a few moments, deeply in shock, before dragging herself up and tidying her clothing. She felt numb. She sat down on the chair again, smoothing the skirt of her dress. She couldn’tevencry.
A knock at the door and the stage hand, Jim, stuck his head in and beamed at her. “Hey, Livvy, two minutes andyou’reon.”
“Thanks,Jim.”
He didn’t notice her voice was faint, and cracking. Livia blinked a couple of times, and then moved like an automaton through the hallways to the wings. Her ears rang, her body trembled and she felt colder than she ever had in her life. She barely registered when she was announced, and she walked onto the stage to applause and whoops of delight from herfriends.
Automatically her eyes searched the room until she saw Nox—and immediately wished she hadn’t. She wanted to scream, to cry, to run into his arms. He was smiling and cheering her, but as she stood still, she saw his expression change to one of concern. The audience had stopped applauding and were now murmuring, wondering what wasgoingon.
Nox started to stand up but Livia shook her head and went to sit at the piano. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She began to play, her fingers moving across the keyboard, a slowed down version of her piece, channeling all her shock, her fear, her pain into the recital. She had no awareness of the audience or anyone else as she played, only wanting to reach one person, wanting him to know just how much she loved andneededhim.
She played for nearly an hour, cycling through every section easily. Her fingers ached, her back was sore as she finished and sat, numbstill.
The audience broke out into rapturous applause, which broke Livia out of her reverie. Shakily, she stood and moved to the microphone at the front of the stage, opened her mouth to speak…and passedoutcold.
ChapterTwenty-Two
