Page 32 of Velvet and Valor
“I’m just saying, I’m pretty handsome. It’s only natural.”
“Oh my god.” He has me laughing again. Have I ever had as much fun as I’m having right now?
“I’m glad to finally have an appreciative audience. You know what you do in the army more than anything?”
“Fight?” I ask.
“I almost wish that were the case,” he replies with a grin. “No, most of all, we wait. Hurry up and wait. There’s so much time to kill, especially on sentry duty, that I guess I come up with quippy things to say to fight the boredom. Or I did, when I was still an enlisted man.”
We’ve been driving a while since we got to my neighborhood. I look out the window and realize we’ve gone several blocks too far.
“I think you missed my house,” I say.
“No, I didn’t. I’m going to pull up on the other side of the block and cut through your back yard. Most likely they’ll only be watching the front, if they’re watching at all.”
“Oh. I guess that makes sense.” I give him a long look. “Do you miss being in the Army?”
“I just got out,” he says with a chuckle. “I haven’t had time to think about it yet.”
I cock an eyebrow at him.
“Mr. Axel, I do believe you are being evasive.”
“Maybe I am.” He sighs, and the smile fades. Cracks in his jokester facade start to show. “I do miss it, at least some things about it. I mean, I don’t miss waking up at the crack of dawn, or sleeping in mud. But the camaraderie, the sense of purpose…sure, I miss that.”
“Then why didn’t you stay?”
“Did you not hear the part about sleeping in the mud?” He waits until our chuckles subside to speak again. “Man, I don’t know.”
His eyes widen, and I can see that he’s trying to work this out in real time.
“I guess, I’d hit the glass ceiling. I had two options ahead of me–try for a promotion and work my way up the ranks or take a position training the next generation of soldiers.” He shrugs, eyes scanning the road ahead of us. “I don’t really want to be an officer. And teaching doesn’t appeal to me, either. So, I’m doing the private security thing for now.”
“It seems like moving up the ranks would let you have more control over your life,” I say. “Give you the chance to really make a difference in the world.”
His smile twists into a sneer so dark it looks foreign on his face. I have to do a double take to realize I’m looking at the same man.
“Ha!” His bark of laughter is tinged with bitterness and an acerbic edge. “Make the world a better place? Not possible.”
“Why do you think that?” I ask, somewhat taken aback by his sudden change in attitude.
“Because there’s too much greed,” he sneers. “Too many people pointing fingers and saying, ‘we don’t want THEIR kind around here.’ Too many people who disagree about which god is right, which economic system is right, which talking head is right…”
He seems to realize he’s kind of gone off on a rant. Axel closes his mouth and looks at me sheepishly.
“Guess maybe I should switch to decaf, huh?”
“I’ve yet to see you take a sip of coffee, and don’t worry about it. You’re allowed to have strong opinions, Axel.”
He sighs and stares at me for a long moment before putting his eyes back on the road.
“Yeah, but you’re not exactly thrilled with what I said, are you? I can tell.”
“It’s not about being thrilled. It’s…I’m worried about you.” I shoot him a grin. “But I also believe in you.” I inwardly cringe at my choice of words, but I can’t find it in me to regret them.
Axel’s face goes through a whole spectrum of expressions. At first, he scoffs, as if utterly incredulous that he would need to be worried over. Then comes a wide grin, and a bark of laughter. Axel’s eyes flash up to meet my gaze. He can tell I’m still worried. So, next comes an eye roll and an edge of anger.
“Are you done?” I ask.
