Page 106 of The Irish Gypsy
Kitty wrung her hands. "Damn you, why are youso saintly? Why don't you beat me, or throw me out?" she cried.
He came to her and held her close. "I cherishyou. If anything ever happened to you I wouldn't care to live."
Now, at least, she didn't have to lace sotightly or disguise the fact that she was feeling wretched. Sheknew she could put off seeing Patrick no longer. She sent a notearound to Half-Moon Street, but it was returned with a note fromhis man that he was out of town for the New Year's holiday andwould be returning about the middle of January.
As it happened, Charles got to see him beforeKitty did. They met at the club when Charles was with a couple ofgovernment colleagues. The conversation was all war and how to makeprofits from it. Patrick was always good for a few tips that wouldswell the old coffers. Patrick turned to Charles. "Will you becoming to Julia's party Friday?" he asked almost too casually.
"I think we'll have to send our regrets. I'mworried about Kathleen. She's such a little thing. The doctor saysshe's not strong; far too thin."
"Doctor?" Patrick was alarmed. "Is she ill?"he demanded.
"Well, not really ill. Confidentially, she'sin a delicate condition. I don't think she wants anyone to knowabout it just yet, so don't let on."
Patrick was stunned. She'd kept it from himfor four months! He cursed himself for his careless consideration.She was having a bad time, too. No wonder she hadn't been near himsince they returned from Ireland.
The next day, while he was writing her acarefully worded note, he was relieved when his man told him thatthe duchess was there to see him.
He looked down at her with longing. It tookan iron will not to crush her in his arms. She was definitelythinner; there was no way he could have guessed she was carrying achild.
She began in a rush of apology for not seeinghim, and the excuses fell from her lips in bright little phrases.It began to dawn on him, incredibly, that she wasn't going to tellhim! "You do understand that the moments we shared must never berepeated?" she said in a rehearsed little speech.
"What about my baby?" he asked slowly.
She flew at him with clenched fists, hercomposure shattered. "You did do it on purpose! Oh, I could justknock you down. If only I were a man!"
He held her arms to her sides to ward off theblows. "You weren't going to tell me, were you? You know damnedwell I'd insist on claiming my children and you!"
She completely broke down at his words. "Godhelp me, Patrick, I can't walk out on him. I have too much pity andcompassion for that. You are so strong, Patrick. No one could everpity you," she said, sobbing.
"Thank God for that," he said quietly. Herplight touched his heart; he was so vulnerable where she wasconcerned. "My own love, I brought you pain when I told you todecide between us. The pity of it is, it was just male pride. Iknow you love me. I respect you for standing on your principles."He kissed her brow.
She clung to him desperately. "Principles area trap door; when you do stand on them, you go straight through."She looked suddenly stricken. "I'm afraid I'm going to besick."
He helped her to the bathroom. Afterward hewashed her face gently.
She gave him a tremulous smile. "I bet you'rethankful you've been saved from a terrible fate."
He didn't laugh. "If you don't take care ofyourself, you're going to lose this baby, Kitty. I couldn't bearthat and neither could you. I want you to go home and rest, and forGod's sake, eat! You're so fragile, you look like you're going toshatter. Try to be calm; think beautiful thoughts, and don't worryyour head about me. My God, am I such a bastard I've got youworrying your guts to fiddle strings?" He brushed her lips withhis. "Go now. I'm here if you need me."
The May afternoon was warm and sunny. Kittyhad spent endless hours with Old Tom, the gardener, planting abutterfly garden. The old man had been so skeptical when she toldhim that in the islands they planted certain flowers to attractdifferent varieties of butterflies.
"We'll use snowy sedum, sea holly and Jacob'sladder with scabiosa behind. Then the little rock plants in frontlike creeping phlox, moss pinks and rock cress. There are some goodannuals we'll need to attract the prettiest ones, like naughtyMarietta, verbena, cosmos, wallflowers and what's that redstuff....fireweed!"
"It won't work in England; we've nobutterflies--only them white things that eat cabbages," he saidstubbornly.
"Oh, Tom, you're a gardener, how can you saythat? We have red admirals, painted ladies, Milbert'stortoiseshell, spring azures, and mourning cloaks, to name only afew."
She walked heavily now, under her burden, butshe looked happier and more contented. Charles Patrick camerunning. She took his hand and they went off to feed the swans.
"When you have the baby, I won't be the babyanymore, will I?" he asked happily.
"Good heavens, you haven't been a baby forages," she wisely assured him.
Later that night, as she gazed down at hersleeping son, she whispered, "Little Patrick, how exactly like yourfather you are, and now, God help me, I'm about to bring anotherlittle O'Reilly into the world."
Charles moved quietly out of the shadows andwent into his bedroom. A report sounded through the house. Kittylooked up startled, then she ran along the hall toward Charles'bedroom, a gathering fear clutching at her heart. She was callingfor Katie at the top of her lungs, long before she reached thebedroom door. Her hand turned the knob reluctantly, knowing whatshe would find. Katie was behind her as she opened the door andquickly slammed it shut again in horror.
"Get a doctor! Hurry! Hurry!"
