Page 66 of The Irish Gypsy
"Well, you have to admit it's usefulinformation for a woman to know," she said and laughed.
"Kathleen, I've only a couple of days left.Would you consider...."
She put her hand over his mouth. "Oh, pleasedon't spoil it by asking me to sleep with you," she pleaded.
"Lass, I wouldn't ask that of you. I want youto come with me!"
She shook her head sadly. "It would be agreat adventure, but I won't be any man's mistress, Charles."
"I swear, I had nothing so dishonorable inmind. Kathleen, I want you to marry me."
She stared at him in disbelief. "Marry you?My God, that would make me a duchess! No, Charles, they'd neveraccept me."
"You would be my choice, my lass; they'daccept you," he swore.
"Charles, no one has ever done me a greaterhonor, but I cannot."
He looked at her sadly. "I understand. It'stoo soon after your loss. A lass can't replace a young virilehusband she loved deeply with a middle-aged man she hardlyknows."
She wanted to cry out a denial, but she letthe words lie undisputed.
Chapter 18
The weather suddenly changed drastically.Summer was over. The wind blew from the north so fiercely and therain had come down in sheets all night. Autumn was here with avengeance and the leaves were shedding from the trees by thethousands. Kitty wrapped her cloak about her and stepped out intoCadogen Square. She walked quickly up to Knightsbridge and on pastHyde Park Corner. There was a little man in a cocked hat he hadmade out of theTimes.He carried a placard that read: 'LessMeat....Less Lust.' In spite of the biting wind, Kitty stopped tolisten for a moment. He equated meat eating with carnal lust andwas handing out leaflets advising people to eat more fruit andvegetables and thereby become pure. Kitty bit back a question aboutrabbits and their breeding abilities and covered a smile with hergloved hand as she hurried along Piccadilly.
She turned up Half-Moon Street, with whichshe was somewhat familiar, and into Shepherd's Market, where sheremembered there was a very fancy apothecary shop. As she openedthe door, a bell rang above her head and an elegant gentleman witha very pronounced Mayfair accent offered to assist her. For amoment she wanted to ask for something else and leave quickly, buther courage didn't quite desert her. She was amazed to hear herselfasking for Penny Royal, but she couldn't keep her face fromcoloring deeply as he gave her a sly, knowing look of sneeringcondescension.
He left her alone while he went into the backof the shop. She waited and waited and would have left without whatshe came for except her feet wouldn't seem to carry out her wishes.When he finally returned, he was still measuring powders intopackets and as she waited patiently he kept casting her knowingglances.
Kitty's Irish was up as she observed hiscarefully concealed bald spot and expensive clothes. Finally whenhe handed her a tiny packet and asked for twelve guineas, she knewhe had her over a barrel in asking such a ridiculous price. Herpride wouldn't allow her to haggle over the cost, but she couldn'thelp giving him a setdown. She looked at him blandly and said,"I've heard this stuff is good for baldness," then she turned onher heel prettily and departed unruffled and pleased withherself.
"I want a few minutes alone with you, Julia.Will you come up to Patrick's room where we won't beoverheard?"
Julia, intrigued, followed her upstairs.
"Please don't interrupt me until I'mfinished, Julia. I've made up my mind to do something which noamount of arguing will change. I'm going to America, to Patrick. Ihope to sail next week. I'm a widow now and I see no reason why Ishould wait months for him to return."
Julia opened her mouth to speak, then closedit again.
"Please don't waste your breath trying todissuade me."
"Then all I can say isbonne chance."Julia smiled kindly.
"Now then, I have a present for you." Kittyreached into her reticule and handed her the packet. Julia's eyeswidened as she realized what Kitty had done for her. Then tears ofrelief and gratitude mingled and fell down her cheeks. "I've alsolearned of a simple device to use to prevent conception. I'll writeit down for you."
Barbara came running in, breathless withexcitement. "Oh, Kitty, Terrance has just told me. I think you'rethe bravest person in the whole world!"
Kitty started to laugh, almost hysterically.She was quite willing to bet she was the most terrified person inall London. Her insides were jelly when she thought of theterrifying sea voyage that was ahead of her. Then there was thechild. She couldn't even allow her thoughts to wonder what shewould do if Patrick would not marry her. An illegitimate child inVictorian England was so sinful, its stigma lasted a lifetime.Beyond this was the dark fear of childbirth. Her own mother haddied giving birth to Terry and the thought was enough to make hermouth go dry and her knees to turn to water.
"I want you to help me pick out sometraveling clothes, Barbara. Then maybe we can dine at that newfancy restaurant after the shops close this evening. I don't thinkJulia is feeling too well, and I think she'd like to be left alonefor a few hours."
Kitty bought an amber velvet gown with asquare neckline and puffed sleeves. At another shop she purchased apale green wool with long sleeves and a dark green velvet cloakwith a heavy quilted lining. Queen Victoria had set the fashions todisguise her many pregnancies. Kitty was glad of the full skirts,for though she hadn't started to expand yet, they would be usefulin the months ahead to camouflage her condition, which she could nolonger deny.
Barbara and Kitty didn't return to CadogenSquare until after eight that evening. As soon as Kitty depositedher packages in her room she went along to Julia's bedroom.
"May I come in for a moment?"
Julia's voice rang out, "It workedsplendidly, Kitty, but by God I've gone through hell thisafternoon. The worst seems to be over, but I'm still having awfulcramps."
