Page 84 of To Go Against Her Heart
Chapter 35
As much as her tears pained him, Darcy allowed her to weep against his chest, still unable to believe that, after months of torment, he had heard from her own lips what his heart had known all along—that she loved him.
He gently placed his hand upon her head, caressing her curls, and heard Elizabeth murmur, as her words came out in between muffled sobs.
“I am truly sorry as I never meant to wound you. Rejecting your proposal that day made me feel like a coward, and I still do. I could not come to terms with all that had transpired the previous night, and, in some way, the belief I had cherished—that my past would never cast its shadow over our future—was shattered in that moment. I know how deeply I hurt you and wonder how you still hold me in such regard,” she said at last, raising her eyes to him. The sight of her tear-stained face tortured Darcy.
“Do you trust me when I say that your past alters nothing?” he asked. “And if, perchance, should we face any difficulty, I will stand beside you—and my aunt will do likewise.”
“I do!”
“And now, answer me, will you attend your sister’s engagement party?” he asked, quite seriously, making her laugh as she realized how effortlessly he had the ability to alter her mood.
“Yes! I will attend Jane’s engagement party,” she replied, laughing.
“Very well, then, will you stand by your sister during her wedding and stare into my eye, as uncomfortable as it would be?”
“Yes! I will. As uncomfortable as it may be, I shall promise to endure it,” she said.
“And will you marry me?” he asked.
“Of course I will,” she replied without a moment’s hesitation, only then realizing the manner in which Darcy had, once again, proposed to her, and that she had given her consent in so simple a way.
Darcy beamed at her as they looked at each other longingly.
“It is indeed so difficult to believe that I won your hand so effortlessly, Miss Elizabeth. This second time, I find myself more fortunate,” he said, drawing forth a gentle laugh from her once again. At that moment, a sudden noise outside caused them both to start, and Elizabeth was made fully aware of the intimacy they now shared. She quickly tried to withdraw from his embrace, and he bravely held her.
“We are engaged, madam. I wonder why you would try to run away from me again.”
“Perhaps we are, but my father may return at any moment; he knows full well that the library would be the first place in which to seek me,” she declared.
“Won’t you address me by my given name?” he asked, his eyes fixed on hers.
“It appears you have ridden here today to secure all that you desire from me, and I almost pity you, for by now you must have a complete understanding as to how difficult it is to make me yield to your requests upon the very first attempt”.
“Honestly, I am not in a hurry as I have a lifetime to accomplish what I want with you,” he said, and suddenly Elizabeth understood that within moments her life had changedand everything she was tormented with had vanished from her sight.
“Someone might find us. I...” She stopped as Darcy wiped her tears away with his handkerchief as gently as he could.
“I promise that this will be the last time I see you cry,” he said and continued, “Forgive me as I never meant to distress you in this manner, but once I became aware of what you had said about avoiding me, my anger knew no bounds, and I did not know how to make you confess your feelings to me.”
“You are permitted to be angry with me—not merely for what I arrogantly declared to Jane, but for all the words I uttered to reject you. I have loved you for so long, and the feeling has always frightened me. But today, I realized I was frightened, not by it or by you, but by the prospect of leaving behind the world I had built around myself, filled with sorrow and misery, and stepping into another with you. Honestly, I believe I feared the very notion of happiness once more.”
“You will be happy, and you deserve to be, as much as you have made me,” he said, and though it pained him to speak of Mr. Harrington, he assured her that he had encountered him once more and had taken the necessary action to forbid him to even think in her direction. It warmed her heart to think of how he endeavored to protect her, despite her rejecting him.
“How do I explain this to Lady Matlock?” she asked with worry.
“We,” Darcy corrected, “There is no ‘I’ in this matter, Elizabeth, for whatever it is that we do, we shall do it together and honestly, I don’t even think it should matter to her, and Mr. Harrington will by no means be invited to my aunt’s or dare to step in our circles,” he said and reassured her.
They spoke for a while, and Darcy mentioned how much Georgiana missed seeing her in town.
“I knew she would as much as I did. I understand I have hurt many people by my actions: Georgiana and even Jane.”
“Your sister did well to inform me as God knows what else you would have resolved to do to avoid me,” he said with irritation.
“Are you still angry with me?”
“I wish I could be, but when you gaze into my eyes as you are doing now, there is no room for me to entertain such a thought,” he said, finally releasing her from his grasp, noticing her cheeks flushed bright red.
