Page 74 of To Go Against Her Heart
“Miss Darcy, I shall tend to it myself. Would you be so kind as to inform my aunt that I shall join her shortly? I fear I have already neglected her company far too long, and honestly, she may be worried.”
“Yes, of course! I shall join you soon. I believe the room to the right is the closest to you,” Georgiana said, and hurried to the other end of the ballroom.Wasting no time, Elizabeth walked as swiftly as her legs could carry her and departed the ballroom. She approached the doors that led to the dimly lit outer corridor. To her relief, she saw no one and kept walking, not knowing where she aimed to go to find solace. As her legs dragged her, she finally reached a small balcony at the bend of the corridor. She stepped into the space and shut her eyes tightly, her hands gripping the balcony wall, unable to believe what she had endured the past hour. The excruciating pain in her heart multiplied as Darcy’s face flashed through her mind, but the tender way he had noted even the slightest change in her expression somehow gave her hope. In reflecting upon all that had transpired within the past hour, she understood one thing with certainty—had it not been for Darcy, she could never have borne to remain in the same room as Mr. Harrington.
How cruel fate can be! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine Mr. Darcy would move within the same circles as Mr. Harrington. How was I so blind to this possibility before? I cannot conceal the truth from him any longer. Whether or nothe intends to propose, he does not deserve to be in the dark anymore.
She knew it was not merely a matter concerning Darcy, but also Lady Matlock, and once the truth was out, it would cast a web of chaos in every direction it touched. Had she witnessed the slightest hint of regret or guilt in Mr. Harrington’s countenance, she would have brushed aside his ability to complicate the matter further. If he were truly a man of honesty and integrity, she knew he would withdraw from her company. Yet, all she had seen in his eyes—and later heard from Georgiana—suggested otherwise, and she knew that he would go to great lengths to preserve his own reputation.
Elizabeth cared little for her own future or how the revelation might affect her standing with Darcy; yet she was resolved that he should learn the truth from her own lips and by no other means. She drew a deep breath and calmed herself to reenter the ballroom, knowing that the dance was about to begin. She vowed to reveal the phantoms of her past to Darcy, no matter the torment it might cause him.
If this be the last time I dance with him, let it—I care not what may follow once the truth is revealed. I must tell him,she resolved silently. Just then, she sensed someone behind her. Just as she could perceive Darcy’s presence—his warmth, the admiration in his eyes that had melted her stone-cold heart, now she sensed a presence that made her skin crawl with unease, and Elizabeth did not doubt as to who could cast such an effect upon her. Mustering courage, she slowly turned—and in the faint glow of moonlight, she beheld the figure of the man whose image she had all but forgotten until this very evening. Mr. Harrington stood before her with a smile that sent a chill down herspine.
Chapter 29
Mr. Harrington had never expected to meet her again, at least not in town. Life, it seemed, had passed without complication since his marriage, especially when it came to money. His debts were settled, his mother and sister delighted to see him so advantageously married—wed to a woman of wealth and beauty, and by all appearances, possessed everything a man could wish for. Yet from the very first day he had entered her chamber and beheld her as his wife, he found himself unable to stop comparing her to the woman he had once imagined as his own—Elizabeth. In his eyes, the woman he had married possessed everything one could desire—yet when he compared her to Elizabeth, there was an abundance lacking. Her laughter never reached her eyes, her words never stirred his mind, and she showed no interest in books or thoughtful discourse. Most of all, he doubted whether he would ever glimpse, in her gaze, the love he had once seen so clearly in Elizabeth’s.
Every day in the past year, he had tried desperately to forget her, the woman whose affection he had won so easily and quite honestly; he never once had the thought of betraying her until the pressing circumstance of poverty presented itself. The choice he had then taken seemed very easy, as he firmly believed that he could forget Elizabeth and every sentiment that passed between them. But as days passed, he was unable to forget her or how he had recklessly ruined his own happiness for the sake of comfort and wealth. His wife regarded him as merely an object of admiration in the eyes of society, and it pleased her greatly when he bestowed unwarranted attention upon her inthe presence of friends and family. Yet even the slightest shift of that attention toward another woman was enough to rouse her fury. Mr. Harrington was often tempted to wound her pride by confessing that she had never been his first choice in marriage—that, in truth, it was her wealth alone that induced him to wed her. Day by day, he envisioned the few months he had spent with Elizabeth, feasting on the memory of her beautiful eyes as she looked at him with love and devotion. He found a strange comfort in keeping his mind occupied with her thoughts, and he was certain she yearned for him the way he did and believed that her heart could never accommodate any other man. This was not just a comfort for him, but a sense of pride as he knew she could never belong to anyone else except him. This assurance not only offered him solace but also arrogantly fed his pride and sense of self-worth.
He had arrived at the ball that evening eager to immerse himself once more in society and enjoy the pleasures such an occasion afforded. His time in Bath had wearied him, for he had rarely spent an evening away from his wife, and he had grown impatient to return to town and resume his usual routine of frequenting gentlemen’s clubs.
The moment he spotted Elizabeth standing in the company of his wife and sister, a strange sense of happiness crept into his heart, but it was short-lived, for the moment she turned around and looked in his direction, he was appalled to witness nothing but abhorrence in her eyes. He had expected her to rejoice at the sight of him, to display the same devotion he had once grown so accustomed to seeing in her. But within mere minutes, he was devastated to realize that she was the very woman about whom the entire ballroom whispered—as Darcy’s love interest. According to Mr. Harrington, Elizabeth was destined to belong to him in every way, and he never expected her to attach herself to any other man, let alone Darcy.
Since the moment she took leave along with Darcy, his mind had been in turmoil, and a combination of rage and helplessness had engulfed him. He excused himself from his wife and stood at a distance, observing the couple. Every moment Elizabeth spent by Darcy’s side, her arm gently linked with his, made his heart burn with a fierce, unspoken torment.
Never had he imagined life would mock him so cruelly—the very woman he had once believed to be pining in Longbourn, brooding over the loss of his affection, now stood with confidence beside the most handsome man in the room, a gentleman much sought after by the entire ton. He watched them with unwavering attention and could not mistake the admiration and love in Darcy’s eyes.
He was not merely enraged to see her happy—he felt, above all, betrayed. There was a recklessness about him that allowed him to act in ways he had no control over, and the moment he saw Elizabeth leave with Georgiana, he knew he had a chance to speak with her in privacy. He followed her out into the corridor as discreetly as possible, and every step he took behind her in pursuit thrilled him beyond measure. He watched her step onto the balcony; her slender figure looked ever so appealing in the moonlight. Mr. Harrington knew this was his chance to confront her and demand answers, and most of all, observe her eyes and see if there was anything left in her heart for him. Unknowingly, a smile played upon his lips as he tasted the familiar excitement in her presence. As he stepped closer, he saw her startle and turn around. The moment her eyes met his, Mr. Harrington knew that what he witnessed in her beautiful gaze was not merely shock—but unmistakable detest.
As for Elizabeth, she quickly realized the grave mistake she had made in venturing out alone. She had sought but a moment of privacy—to compose her mind in solitude away from theprying eyes within the ballroom—yet now she understood the danger into which she had deliberately placed herself.
“Could you please step aside? I wish to leave,” she said with determination, not willing to spend another moment in his presence.
“Do you really wish that, Elizabeth?” he asked endearingly, and the very mention of her name on his lips disgusted her.
“I warn you; don’t you dare take the liberty of addressing me with such informality. Step aside,” she commanded.
“You speak as though you never granted me leave to do so. I am appalled that you have so easily forgotten all that has passed between us—and what vexes me most is that you behave as if my presence brings you no happiness whatsoever.”
“Your presence means nothing to me now, nor shall it ever. I have no desire to converse with you, and I had always believed you to be a gentleman—or, at the very least, you appeared to be one. But you have shattered that very belief now. I warn you, Mr. Harrington—stand aside this instant!” she cried.
“Your words wound me beyond measure because I have admired your honesty, but now I see you struggle to hide your true sentiments in my presence and do not think I am a simpleton not to know why you are doing so,” he said.
“You are not making any sense. What are you accusing me of?” she asked in anger.
“The entire evening, you have so boldly flaunted your beauty and grace upon the arm of a wealthy man. I am, indeed, astonished by your ability to appear so devoted to him when, in truth, your heart still belongs to me.”
“Mr. Harrington, I pity your poor understanding of both my character and my actions. Though I owe you no explanation, allow me to settle your delusions once and for all. Contrary to your assumptions, the woman who once trusted you with her heart no longer exists. And if ever I held you in any regard,it must have been a passing fancy—for I no longer recall entertaining any such feeling,” she said, and her words rattled him.
He took a step closer, and Elizabeth instinctively stepped backward.
“Do you truly believe you can cast aside everything and go against your heart and live a life governed by wealth and status alone? The Elizabeth I knew could never betray her heart, nor endure a life burdened with guilt and regret, however advantageous the match may be. And am I to understand that Mr. Darcy could ever attach himself to a woman whose heart is already engaged in deep and abiding love?” he asked with a vile smile.
“That is quite enough. My affairs are no business of yours, and you possess neither the right nor the privilege to question my actions. You tread dangerous ground—for I am not without protection this evening, but in the company of friends who would not hesitate to come to my aid.”
“Is that so? By friends, do you refer to Lady Matlock, whom my wife has known all her life? Do you think she would take your side or mine if you were to blame me for any misconduct? I surely do not think so. I cannot let this evening pass without making you confess that you yearn for me as much as I do,” he said, and to her horror, stepped closer to her to grab her hand and satisfy his long-lost fantasies.
But his actions were swiftly halted, for he was stopped and forcefully pulled back by none other than Darcy. Before Mr. Harrington could utter a word in protest, a firm blow struck his face, and it was Elizabeth’s intervention that prevented Darcy from delivering further punishment. Mr. Harrington was taken aback by Darcy’s sudden appearance—and even more so by how he stood beside Elizabeth, with a look of wrath.
“Mr. Harrington, not only my aunt, but the entire gathering would stand by Miss Elizabeth if she were to accuse you of impropriety—and rightly so. I am outraged that you dared approach her in so disgraceful a manner,” he said while clenching his fists in fury.
