Page 80 of To Go Against Her Heart
Richard was aware that something had transpired beyond what his cousin had related about the ball—something that had placed a distance between Darcy and Elizabeth. However much he tried, Darcy remained unwilling to disclose the particulars.
***
The next morning, Darcy received a letter from Mr. Bingley that he was to travel to town at the end of the week, along with the Bennets, who were to stay at the Gardiners’ house for a few days to shop for the wedding.
The moment he read the letter, Darcy’s heart quickened; he knew Elizabeth would surely accompany her sister. He wondered what excuse he might offer Georgiana not to meet her, and, above all, whether he could truly restrain himself from seeing her again. He longed to see her; however uncomfortable the prospect was, he was impatient to assure Elizabeth that Mr. Harrington would never again cross her path. He wondered whether she might regard his dealings with that man as an attempt to make her reconsider his proposal.
“Is it true, Fitzwilliam? For she wrote to me a few days ago, but never mentioned her impending arrival in town,” Georgiana remarked, and Darcy wondered whether the relationship between them would strain because of him.
“Yes, she will be here, and I presume they plan to stay here for a few days.”
“I am so excited to meet her again,” she said, and Darcy remained silent.
“May I ask you something?” she enquired with hesitance, and Darcy nodded.
“I know something is amiss—I can sense it not only from you but from Richard as well. You both seem to conceal something from me, and I fear the cause may be George Wickham.”
“Good Lord, Georgi! I do not understand why you would presume such a thing. It concerns nothing related to Wickham. To put your mind at ease, he is no longer in town—he has fled the country. In truth, he was unable to remain here due to his reputation, and the likelihood of his return is, I assure you, negligible.”
“Then what is it that troubles you? I cannot help but feel guilty for the foolish sentiment I once harbored towards him. I have caused you and Richard constant worry, and your peace of mind has ever been at stake, protecting me from the world should the truth come to light.”
“Listen to me, none of your actions were done deliberately to hurt any of us, and I do not want you to weigh yourself down with guilt. I would go to any lengths to protect you, and Richard would do the same,” he said.
“I am aware of that, and I wish I could revoke my insensible actions of the past, as I love you both in equal measure, but could not spare you from suffering,” she said, making him wonder whether Elizabeth carried the same guilt as Georgiana.
But she did nothing wrong; Harrington courted her and betrayed her for wealth. Why would she hold herself in contempt for that?he wondered.
***
Meanwhile, Longbourn was buzzing with activity due to the upcoming engagement party and wedding, which had become the talk of the village. Elizabeth found the entire house chaotic and sometimes enjoyed the distraction it offered; however, her father found no amusement in the constant discussions ofribbons, jewelry, and decorations. He looked forward to a few days of peace, as Mrs. Bennet and her daughters were to spend that time in town attending to their shopping.
The night before their intended departure, Elizabeth informed Jane that she would not accompany them, much to Jane’s shock.
“Lizzy! Your behavior vexes me. What induced you to make this decision, and why are you telling me this now?”
“I just returned from town and have no wish to part from Papa,” she replied without emotion.
“We shall be away for three days, and I am certain Papa can spare you for that short time.”
“Jane, please do not force me in this matter; I have no wish to return to town.”
“But I do not wish to go unless you accompany me. These are my happiest days, in my opinion, and you are so readily distancing yourself from my joy. I cannot help but feel you are acting this way to avoid Mr. Darcy,” she said, and Jane sensed that her sister remained silent to avoid further discussion in the matter.
“Very well! You may stay silent, avoid coming to town now, but he shall be here in a few weeks for the engagement party, and again for the wedding. He will stand by Mr. Bingley during the ceremony, and you will stand by me. How do you intend to avoid him then? Answer me, Lizzy—when did you become such a coward?”
“Yes, I am a coward, and I am not ashamed to confess it. If I can help it, I shall avoid placing myself in a room with him. Call me selfish or any name you please for a creature such as I, devoid of feeling. It matters little now, as no one can think worse of me than I already do myself. And to save you from further contemplation: if I cannot summon the courage, I may not attend your engagement party. Also, it would be better for you tochoose one of our sisters as your bridesmaid for your wedding, for I do not wish to meet Mr. Darcy’s eyes as you exchange your vows with Mr. Bingley,” she spoke with uncharacteristic animosity, her voice trembling, leaving Jane utterly stunned.
Elizabeth expected Jane to reason with her and criticize her for such arrogance, yet her sister remained silent and said nothing until she departed with Mrs. Bennet and her sisters to town the next day. In truth, Jane knew it was futile to reason further with Elizabeth’s stubbornness; however, she understood that she possessed thepowerto do for Elizabeth what her sister had done for her at the bookstore.
Chapter 33
“Do not tell me you miss Jane already; you have seemed quite lost ever since she departed this morning,” Mr. Bennet observed during dinner, to which Elizabeth replied with the assurance that it was not the case.
“It is indeed a pleasure to see her settled close by Lizzy, do you not feel so?”
“Of course! I am beyond thrilled that Mr. Bingley chose to stay in Netherfield and not his town home.”
“It seems you have spent your time in town most pleasantly; Mr. Gardiner mentioned that, through Mr. Darcy, you were brought into the acquaintance of Lord Matlock. I should very much like to hear your thoughts on the new connections you formed there.”
