Page 42 of To Go Against Her Heart
“Oh! Yes, fair cousin, I assure you that you will be pleased and relieved when you hear my intentions, and we can meet your father together. As I told you yesterday, you cannot doubt my regard and intentions after spending time with me all these weeks. Apart from inspecting the property’s condition upon arrival, I occupied myself with analyzing your character; I must add that it is quite flawless. As a respectable clergyman, you must know that one would expect me to set an example in marriage and choose the right woman who can match me in all aspects. Please do not worry. I find no fault in you except for your dowry, which I have generously accepted, much to yourmother’s happiness. I assure you that you will not be subjected to anything but a comfortable living at the parsonage. I even have shelves installed in the closet for your needs, although the top rack is currently occupied with a few items I must keep for the Parish. I assure you, the cook is better than the one you employ here, though we may use less of her services, as your mother informs me that you also excel in preparing meals. Above all, my noble patroness…”
“Mr. Collins, I do not understand what you are implying here.”
“Of course, I understand young ladies like you are very shy and coy when it comes to matters such as these. Though you understand my wishes, you expect me to convey my sentiments more romantically.”
Elizabeth looked at the man with disgust and suddenly realized that she had nothing but gratitude towards Darcy for saving her the previous evening. She felt extremely guilty for using the same reason to keep him away from her. Mr. Collins, who seldom understood anyone, interpreted her silence and the flush upon her cheeks as encouragement rather than anger.
“My dearest cousin, you cannot doubt my regard for your beauty and genteel manners, and I know that you are extremely gratified with my proposal.”
“Which proposal?” she asked with irritation.
“Forgive me, as I was lost expressing myself in other matters. My dearest Miss Elizabeth, though I already know the answer, I would formally like to ask you to marry me and spend an entire life of happiness by serving me and my noble patroness,” he said with pride. Elizabeth could scarcely believe the confidence with which he spoke, as though her acceptance was assured without doubt.
“I apologize, but I cannot accept your proposal and will never do so. Please do not waste your time if my mother has kindledyour hopes in this matter. I understand you had the same intention at Netherfield yesterday, and I assure you my father will not be happy to hear this,” she said and stormed out of the parlor.
Mrs. Bennet saw Elizabeth leave hastily and hurried inside to congratulate her future son-in-law. However, when she understood about Elizabeth’s refusal, she was petrified.
“I cannot imagine what made her say such a thing. I sincerely apologize on her behalf as I am certain she was not in her right senses; she is such an obstinate, headstrong girl. I have had so much trouble getting her to obey me. Please trust me, I will ensure she accepts you.”
“Madam, I accept your apologies, but her actions make me question our union. The characteristics you described now alarm me; I cannot take her to Kent as my wife and displease my patroness if she cannot obey me. I cannot afford to take that risk,” he said with doubt and worry.
“Oh! You have misunderstood words. Elizabeth is a wonderful, humble, kind, and respectful girl. She obeys me and her father, and I do not doubt it. I shall resolve this right away,” she said, marching out of the room.
I must make her accept him; how could she refuse his hand? Yes! Mr. Bennet will talk some sense into her.
She stormed into the study and was surprised to see Elizabeth and her father in a deep discussion.
“Mr. Bennet, I am so glad that you are here. What does she have to say in her defense? She has upset Mr. Collins, and now he is inclined to withdraw his offer. We cannot allow this. Ask her to apologize to him right away and accept his offer.”
Mr. Bennet stood and walked slowly towards his wife.
“You want our daughter to marry him?”
“Yes, of course, as he has been so generous to offer for her. I am certain that he is aware of how she was courted in town andleft heartbroken. This is Lizzy’s best chance to secure a decent life and settle down.”
“Mrs. Bennet, you put me to shame not only with your intentions but also in forcing me to realize how blind I have been beneath my roof. I just learned from Elizabeth that this man tried to approach her with the same intentions yesterday at the ball.”
“What is wrong with him wanting to ask for her hand? Pray tell me.”
“Because it is clear that his visit had an ulterior motive, and it is disgusting to understand that you were aware of this all this while. Elizabeth will not marry him, nor will she be subjected to his nonsensical talks anymore.”
“If she does not marry him, I shall never speak with her again. This is a promise,” she cried with anger.
Mr. Bennet turned towards his daughter and smiled.
“You have a difficult choice before you now. If you choose to act according to your mother’s wishes, I must tell you—I shall never speak to you again. I am sorry, but from this day forth, you must be a stranger to one of your parents,” he said and walked out of the room.
***
The same afternoon, a disappointed Mr. Collins left Longbourn after Mr. Bennet had a much-needed conversation with him.
“I am appalled that you had such an intention towards one of my daughters all this time. Please do not explain anything regarding your behavior, as there could never be a sensible or acceptable explanation for you proposing to Elizabeth. I suggest you end your stay here today, Mr. Collins, while I can still behave cordially with you,” he had warned. As dejected as he was, Mr. Collins was well aware that Mr. Bennet was livid with anger and did not want to stay under the same roof. He was utterlydisappointed that his stay had ended in vain, as he had high hopes of returning to Kent as a married man. From her window, Elizabeth watched the carriage roll away and let out a sigh of relief. Yet the departure did little to quell the storm within her. Though Mr. Collins was gone, her mind remained troubled by the reflection on her own conduct towards Darcy.
I should not have used the incident with Mr. Collins as an excuse to distance him from me, as I was well aware of his purest intentions. How have I become so cruel? But what am I to do? I can never make him happy. He deserves so much more—someone whose heart isn’t shadowed by the wreckage of a past love, someone untouched by the scars left by a man who shattered her trust and stole her sense of worth.
She felt ashamed of how she had treated him, someone who deserved nothing but her respect. In her heart, she knew he deserved an apology, and Elizabeth was uncertain if she would ever have the courage to acknowledge the same to him without revealing her true feelings. Unfortunately for Elizabeth, at that very moment Darcy sat in his carriage on his way back to London. Right after meeting her that morning, he had been in one of the worst moods ever, and the moment he set foot in Netherfield, he started packing to leave. Mr. Bingley was shocked to understand his decision.
“Darcy, you did not inform me that you planned to leave today. What has happened now?”
