Page 38 of To Go Against Her Heart
Darcy smiled, and when he did, Elizabeth found him incredibly handsome.
“I am certain you can think of better subjects than these, or maybe you consciously want to keep our conversation short.”
“If that is the case, then you have the honor of choosing the subject.”
“If I may dare, can I venture into the subject that may keep us engaged for the rest of the evening?” he asked, making Elizabeth’s heart race.
“And what might that be?” she asked him.
“Have you forgiven me for my comment at the assembly?” he asked, and, in his eyes, she saw desperation, something she had not witnessed in him. At that moment, Elizabeth found him extremely vulnerable, and somehow, she could not lie to him.
“I have, and I did it long ago. I am sorry to disappoint you, as nothing in this subject could keep us engaged for the rest of the evening,” she said, and the music stopped. She was unable to explain why she could not deny him the pleasure of the truth. As for Darcy, it was another unguarded moment in which she expressed her true feelings to him. He wanted her to stay withhim but had no choice but to lead her back to Charlotte. Mr. Collins was nowhere to be seen. Reluctantly, he left her. In the following few sets, he watched Elizabeth dance with Mr. Collins and could very well sense that she was uncomfortable in doing so. He observed his friend with Jane and thought her unusually quiet and reserved for such an evening.
Elizabeth was well aware of where Darcy stood, even among the crowd. She had a terrible time dancing with Mr. Collins, and she could not decline his request when he asked her as she stood in the company of Sir William and Lady Lucas. She did not want to insult the man and had agreed. Not only was he a poor dancer, but every time he missed his step, he chose to apologize until the next time he did so.By the time the dance was over, a terrible headache had set in, and she excused herself from the gathering, retiring to the withdrawing room. Jane came looking for her as supper had begun, and Elizabeth did not feel well.
“I do not seem to have an appetite, Jane.”
“Maybe I can get you a glass of wine,” she said.
“No, I will rest here. Please do not waste your time here with me.”
“What nonsense, Lizzy. If you feel unwell, I am not leaving your side,” Jane cried.
Elizabeth decided to leave with Jane and join the rest for supper, not wanting Jane to miss out on the evening’s entertainment. As they returned, they spotted everyone seated, enjoying the lavish spread. The sisters sat down, obliged to listen to the conversation between Mrs. Bennet and Lady Lucas.
“I have never witnessed a grand evening as such. I must say Mr. Bingley’s arrival has benefited our society in many ways. Who would have thought Netherfield Park would be occupied by such a handsome gentleman, who hosts such grand balls?” Lady Lucas exclaimed.
“I agree; he has outdone himself in the preparations. Why, this is one of the grandest balls I have ever witnessed. I cannot thank him enough for his kindness and generosity to all his friends. I have not seen such an amiable gentleman in all my life. I am certain he will be pleased when he settles down here permanently.”
“Of course, Mrs. Bennet, when a likely event occurs soon, I am certain we will have Mr. Bingley as the permanent resident of Hertfordshire.”
“I cannot openly speak about it yet, can I? But when Mr. Bingley marries my dearest Jane, I am certain it will bring about much happiness for them and our families,” she remarked with joy.
“Mamma! I beg of you not to speak out of turn. You have no right to say such a thing about us. I cannot allow you to embarrass me,” Jane cried out of anger and embarrassment.
Though Elizabeth mirrored her sister’s thoughts, she was stunned by Jane’s uncharacteristic outburst. Unfortunately for them, Mr. Bingley and his sisters overheard Jane, as they sat close by, and he quickly left the place and returned to the ballroom, very much worried about Jane’s words.
“Jane, please compose yourself,” Elizabeth cried, not wanting to create a scene.
“I cannot. I am tired of being subjected to this talk when, according to his sister, he might actually favor someone else. She repeated the same matter this evening,” Jane cried in despair. They were still unaware that Mr. Bingley had overheard her outburst.
She seemed angry; what could that mean? I can understand if she is embarrassed, but why is she angry? Does she not love me?Mr. Bingley thought as he moved away from the scene.
He was confused beyond measure. After all these weeks, he finally began to doubt Jane’s feelings toward him. He had neverseen her angry or even upset before, and he wondered why the mention of their union enraged her. Jane finally calmed herself, and Elizabeth did not know how to comfort her sister in the matter.
“Lizzy, I wish to leave. Can you look for Papa? Some guests have already left, and I don’t think it would be rude.”
“Very well, I shall look for him. You are worrying for nothing; I am telling you once again, do not allow Miss Bingley to upset you, and yes, Mamma’s words were shameful. Yet it appears that the origin of your anger lies elsewhere. Please do not doubt him, Jane; I cannot allow you to worry about something which can never be true,” she said. She navigated through the ballroom, unable to find her father, and then headed to the library, certain that he would be there. Mr. Bennet never enjoyed such evenings and often found himself a quiet spot away from his wife, and Elizabeth was well aware of it.
She entered the library and distinctly remembered the time she met Darcy there during her stay in Netherfield. She looked around for her father, but he seemed absent.
Where could you be, Papa?
Suddenly, she stood still, hearing the door open. She did not doubt as to who it was; the last thing she wanted that evening was to have another conversation with Darcy. However, Elizabeth mustered courage, slowly turned around, and gasped.
“Mr. Collins!”
Chapter 15
