Page 14 of To Go Against Her Heart
He quickly walked up to her and enquired about Jane.
“I believe she is recovering well and is on the mend,” she replied.
“I am pleased to hear that. Well! I was heading for a walk. Would you care to join me?” he asked, looking at the path that ran around the house through the gardens. Though his request surprised her, she agreed without thought, pleasantly shocking Darcy.
He could not help but steal a few glances at her as they walked, but Elizabeth kept her gaze forward.
“How are you faring in the purpose of your visit, Mr. Darcy?” she asked after a few minutes.
“Forgive me; I do not have the pleasure of understanding you.”
“I believe you traveled here to aid Mr. Bingley with the estate, did you not.”
“Yes, of course! I assure you, there is very little to be done now. We have had a few productive weeks, and I am certain my friend could manage quite well even without my assistance.”
“I understand you are anxious to return, then.”
“No, you are wrong, I am quite happy to spend time here, though I cannot deny that I miss my sister, who currently resides in town with my aunt.”
“I see. Am I to believe that our humble society provides a man like you enough amusement?”
“Miss Elizabeth, I am not certain what your opinion is about my preference in keeping myself entertained. You are mistaken if you suppose I take after my friend and delight in parties and assemblies. I have never favored social engagements, not just here but also in town, because I am not at ease like most people in forming new acquaintances,” he admitted honestly.
“I wonder why?”
“I do not possess the talent some do of conversing amiably with a stranger.”
“I do not play the piano-forte as well as I wish to, but I attribute that to my own failing because I would not take the trouble of practicing. You could learn from my failing, Mr. Darcy, and start practicing,” she said with a slight smile.
“I assure you; I have already started doing so.”
“And might I dare to ask whether you find it rewarding?”
“I still do not know; it depends on how the world perceives my efforts.”
“Certainly, you must have some idea by now as to whether you have made progress.”
“What if I have not made any? Would you suggest I keep trying?”
“That must depend entirely upon your own inclination.”
“I do not understand what you mean.”
“You see, I never concern myself with practicing, for I have no wish to impress anyone. If my goal were to astonish every gathering I attend, I assure you I would practice diligently—but that has never been my thought. It all depends upon your own purpose; if you truly wish to impress your acquaintances, and perhaps earn the reputation of a skilled conversationalist, I suggest you do not give up,” she said, smiling once more.
“Our sentiments in this matter are quite similar. I have never intended to impress anyone with my company or conversation; probably, I never will. But in your case, despite the same resolution, your music speaks for itself, and I wonder if anyone subjected to the pleasure of hearing you would think anything wanting.You seem to win admiration without the least effort on your own part.As for myself, what might haveseemed a trifling unwillingness to be sociable, could have cost me far more dearly than merely being deemed unsociable.”
“And what might that be?” she asked with curiosity.
“Your friendship,” he said, his voice expressing nothing but pain. Elizabeth struggled to catch her breath and stopped walking. In his eyes, she perceived something that left her speechless, and her heart was once more filled with a long-lost sensation. She felt a sense of warmth around him, and it horrified her that the feeling was something she had already experienced in the company of another man.
Seeing the unease in her features, Darcy could not help but wonder if he had said too much.
“Miss Elizabeth, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted…”
“Forgive me; I must return to my sister,” she interrupted, leaving him in a hurry.
Darcy watched her almost run away from him, unable to understand what he had said to offend her. He replayed their conversation and was certain he had expressed himself sincerely about losing her friendship. But in her eyes, Darcy witnessed nothing but panic. He stood bewildered, unable to understand her actions, and as much as he fought, Darcy could not keep Elizabeth from lingering in his thoughts for the entire day.
